Recover
by kate657
Summary: When Sam McCall left Port Charles, she vowed to never look back but you can only run away for so long until your past comes knocking on your door.
1. Chapter 1

**Recover** by Kate

Summary: When Sam McCall left Port Charles, she vowed to never look back but you can only run away for so long until your past comes knocking on your door.

* * *

**Prologue**

He approached the door to her apartment nervously. He was brought up a gentleman and gentlemen always called first, they never showed up at someone's door out of the blue, unannounced and quite possibly unwelcome.

He lifted his hand and knocked on the door twice. "It's me," he told the person inside. He hoped that letting her know who it was gave her a reason to open the door to him.

Surprisingly, the door opened and she appeared with her hazel eyes alive with curiosity. "What's going on, Nikolas?" she questioned.

"You said if I was ever in Manhattan that I should look you up," he reminded her of their first telephone conversation after she had left Port Charles.

"I did," she recalled, scrunching her eyebrows as she studied him closer.

"Here I am," he shrugged and knew that the pain he was feeling was mirrored in his eyes from the way her demeanour towards him changed.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, taking a step outside, closing some of the distance between them.

"Can I come in?" he asked, looking past her and inside. He caught a glimpse of the living room and marvelled at how inviting it looked. These days nothing seemed alluring to him. Not without her.

She hesitated as she peered over her shoulder and then returned her attention back to him. Finally she shrugged and said, "Sure, come on in." She led the way into the living room and sat down on the couch, patting the cushion beside her, inviting him to take a seat.

He sat down. "Thanks," he said.

"I don't have much in the way of food but I could offer you a bottle of water if you're thirsty," she said.

"No, thanks. I'm fine," he said.

Her face lost some of it's natural light. Something seemed to dawn on her as she shook her head at him.

"You are not."

"Sam," Nikolas began but she raised a silencing hand to him.

"Just tell me what happened," she said, urging him to confide in her. Despite the amount of time that had passed, they were still cousins and she had promised to always be someone he could talk to.

He leaned back against the couch and succumbed to the grief he had been holding back until he was in the company of a trusted friend.

"She's gone," he cried and allowed her to put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Sam raised her eyebrows at him. "Who?"

"Emily, she's dead," he answered painfully, closing his eyes in regret at saying it aloud. It was the first time he allowed himself to admit it by saying the words out loud.

**Chapter 1**

Two months later, Sam McCall walked into _Kelly's_ one morning wearily. It had been so long since she had been in Port Charles, and she was nervous about seeing the people she had left behind.

She hadn't been noticed yet so she nodded to her earlier idea of going straight to Wyndemere when she got to town to see her cousin. But just as she was about to turn on her heel, a voice called her name.

"Sam?" he asked in surprise. "Is that you?"

_And I was so close_, she thought to herself as she turned her head in the direction of the man that had called her name. When she saw Mike waving her over from behind the counter, a smile spread across her face as she walked over.

"I knew I recognized that coat," the old man said once she was standing at the counter.

"How are you doing, kiddo?"

"Hey, Mike," Sam greeted him, shaking his outstretched hand. "I'm not bad."

"Well, where'd you disappear to?" Mike asked, grabbing a mug from under the counter and filling it with coffee while looking up at her for confirmation that she wanted some coffee.

Sam nodded at the coffee. "I went a lot of places on my new boat," she said.

"New boat?" he asked.

"Yeah, _The Lazarus II_," Sam answered. "I bought it with my severance package from the show."

"I was docked in Manhattan for a few months," she added.

"Is that where you came from?" Mike asked.

Sam nodded. "Yeah."

"So how long do we have you for?" he asked.

Sam pursed her lips together. Should she tell him that she wasn't sure? She had been able to take three months off work but she was only here for Nikolas and to see her family. Her plans were definitely short term.

"I'm not staying if that's what you're asking," she replied, deciding that telling him as little as possible was the best way to go. In her peripheral vision, she noticed many pairs of eyes and ears perked up, listening in on every word that was exchanged between her and Mike.

"That's a shame," Mike commented, looking down sadly as he handed her the steaming cup of coffee.

Sam looked at him in surprise. "Why?" She couldn't hide the fact that she was caught off guard by his obvious disappointment with the news from her voice.

"You've been missed," he said. He raised his head and smiled at her kindly.

Shocked at the honesty he was showing her, she found herself struggling with the news that she was missed by people who weren't related to her. "Thank you."

"The last few months have been pretty dreary here," Mike said.

"I've heard," Sam said.

"So you know about it then?" Mike asked, looking down in sadness again.

"Yeah, and Emily will be missed by many people," Sam said, feeling the grief overtake her for a minute as a few tears slid down her face.

"Emily?" Mike questioned.

"Yeah, Nikolas came to see me after her funeral," she replied.

"Oh," Mike nodded and she could tell that he was struggling with something.

"Emily and I had our quarrels from time to time, but she was a great friend and Nikolas adored her. I miss her more than I thought I would," Sam continued.

"Yes, I'm sure you do and so will a lot of people but I was actually talking about someone else," Mike said.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, looking up at him in worry. "Has there been another victim after Emily?"

Tears welled up in his eyes as he nodded. "Yes," he replied.

"Who?" Sam asked.

"Georgie," Mike replied, stumbling over her name.

Her eyes widened in shock as she processed everything. "Georgie Jones?" At his nod, she asked, "When?"

"Three days ago."

After saying goodbye to Mike, Sam gulped down her coffee and headed outside. Once she was at her car she pulled out her cell and dialled Nikolas' number.

"Hello?" Nikolas answered on the second ring.

"Hey, it's Sam," she greeted her cousin. "I'm in town."

"Already?" Nikolas asked in surprise. "Are you okay? You sound weird."

"I'll be fine. I called to tell you I'll be a little later than I planned," Sam replied.

"Why?" Nikolas asked.

"There's someone I need to see," she said cryptically.

"Who?"

"An old friend."

She got out of her car and walked up the driveway. Once she was up the steps she knocked on the door several times.

A minute later, she opened the door to her.

"I came as soon as I heard," Sam said.

She looked up, revealing her tearstained face and her blue eyes widened in shock. "Sam," she exclaimed and the two friends hugged each other.

"I'm so sorry about your sister, Maxie," Sam said to her old friend.

Maxie Jones tightened her arms around her closest girl friend as her sobs increased.

"Thanks for coming, Sam."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"How's Maxie doing?" Nikolas asked as his butler Alfred led his cousin into a lavishly furnished living room within Wyndemere.

Sam sat down in a chair across from him and sighed. "About the same as you when you came to see me in Manhattan," she replied.

"Sorry I didn't tell you about Georgie," he said, looking down in regret. "I wanted you to come because you wanted to, not because you felt you had to."

"And you thought that if I knew about Georgie's death on top of Emily's I would come to Port Charles because of what, guilt?" Sam asked.

"No, I thought you'd come to be here for the people that are grieving for the people that have died out of a sense of duty," Nikolas replied.

"That's ridiculous," Sam declared, rolling her eyes.

"Is it?" Nikolas asked. "You came here to be here for me because of Emily, didn't you?"

"That's different," Sam said defensively.

"Why?"

"Because _you_ asked me to come," Sam said, pointing an accusing finger at him. "It was your idea, not mine."

"Why did you leave in the first place?" Nikolas asked, dredging up the subject once again.

When Sam was still deciding whether or not she would come back to town, Nikolas had asked her why she had left town to begin with many times and each time he would get the same answer.

"Leave it alone," she replied, glaring at him warningly.

"You said you would tell me if you came back," Nikolas reminded her.

"You really don't want to know, trust me," Sam said.

"Yes I do," Nikolas insisted.

"Then I don't want you to know." And she shook her head stubbornly.

"Sam, you gave me your word," Nikolas replied.

"My word has never been worth anything before," Sam argued, looking around the room to distract her self. "Just ask anyone in this damn town and they'll tell you that."

"Just tell me. I won't judge you," Nikolas promised and he could tell that he believed it to be true.

"I'm not worried about that," Sam admitted and looked up at him, knowing that there were probably tears in her eyes.

"Then what's the problem?" Nikolas asked.

"I don't want you to hate me."

Nikolas looked at her in confusion. "Sam, I don't hate you now and nothing you have to say would change that," he said.

"You're wrong. There are things that I have done that are unforgivable," Sam said.

"I am your cousin," Nikolas reminded her. As if that meant anything. "I already know about Jake's kidnapping and I'm still here. I understand how broken you were then. I don't think you resent Jake so much that you would have kept your mouth shut forever. What could be so bad that I would turn on you?"

"You asked for this," Sam said and began to tell him about that day in the park with Elizabeth, Cameron and Jake and the gunmen she had hired to scare her straight.

After she had finished telling the story, explaining her reasons for hiring the men at the time, she straightened her posture and stiffened her muscles as if steeling herself to whatever words were about to come out of her cousin's mouth. She knew that she could take whatever he had to say to or about her. Thanks to Jason.

Nikolas leaned forward and looked at her meaningfully. "At least you realize that what you did was wrong now," he said.

Sam blinked several times and had the urge to pinch herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming. "Of course I do," she said.

"That's good," Nikolas said.

"That's all you have to say to me?" she asked in disbelief.

"Would you prefer it if said I never wanted to see you again?" Nikolas asked.

"I would understand." Sam kept her eyes on the ground as she spoke, shielding herself from his gaze. If he was about to rip into her, she wouldn't let him see how much it would really hurt her.

Nikolas shook his head. "I think you've had enough people turn their backs on you in the past. I'm not going to do the same thing."

Sam felt tears sting her eyes. That was the first time someone had ever promised to stand by her in spite of every horrible thing she had done. Jason's promise no longer counted, since he had lied to her and gone back on that very promise.

"Why?" she asked.

"Everyone does bad things, Sam. Everyone. But not everybody regrets them and you obviously do."

Sam began to nod at his explanation but something still bothered her about it. It didn't make any sense that Nikolas, a father himself, would just instantly forgive her for hiring men to attack a woman in the park in front of her children just to prove a point.

_Unless_, Sam began to think to herself as she studied Nikolas' face closely. "You already knew," she said.

Nikolas nodded in admittance. "I overheard Sonny and Jason talking about it once at Metro Court," he said.

"When?" Sam asked.

"Not long after it happened. Sonny was asking what they were going to do about you and Jason assured him that he had already dealt with you," Nikolas replied.

Sam winced as she recalled how Jason had "dealt" with her.

_"If you think that I am wrong about the danger and you're willing to risk Elizabeth's life to be with your son," Sam began and she once again placed her drink in her other hand, "Or have one-- or both of them-- shot in your arms, then just say so, Jason. I will march down to her right now and tell her I set that whole thing up."_

Jason didn't respond but she could tell by the way his chest was heaving that he was struggling to keep his anger under control and even though it should have, it didn't stop her from saying what she needed to say.

"You know as well as I do-- you said it yourself," she took a deep breath and counted on her fingers. "Elizabeth and Jake- and don't forget Cameron- will never _be safe with you."_

Jason narrowed his eyes at her. "You stood by while Jake was kidnapped," he began and his eyes grew darker with each passing moment. "You hired two men to threaten Elizabeth at gunpoint while her children watched. What is wrong _with you?"_

Sam breathed out a sigh as she tried to gather her thoughts to reply but he kept on going.

"You want revenge?" he bit out angrily.

"If you want to be angry at somebody, you get angry at me," he thumped his chest for emphasis. "You leave Elizabeth…"

"Jason, I gave up everything to be with you!" Sam exclaimed desperately.

"I was shot because of you. I cannot have kids because of you and then you go and have one with Elizabeth?"

"You stay away from Elizabeth," he said, pointing at her like he was disciplining a child.

"Don't go near her children or her again," he warned.

"What, are you threatening me?" Sam asked in horror.

Jason looked at her and that was when she noticed it. The hate burning in his eyes was so painful to her that she didn't think he could hurt her more.

Then he walked a few feet closer to her, closing the distance between them and leaned forward threateningly.

"If you hurt them again in any way, I will kill you," his voice was dangerously low and his eyes had darkened so much, she could swear they were black and she shuddered in fear.

That was it. That had been the final nail in her coffin.

Hearing the man that had loved her and protected her for three years threaten to kill her and actually mean it had persuaded her to leave Port Charles.

She knew to some people, it seemed like a rash decision for her to make. When she first came to Port Charles, she was the only person she had but things had changed.

She had family and by deciding to leave, she was leaving behind her mother, her sisters and her cousin.

They were what tied her to the city, her reasons to call Port Charles home but Sam had realized that if she had stayed, she would be faced with seeing Jason every day, having to see that look of hate in his eyes and she couldn't bear that no matter how strong she claimed to be.

Nikolas had been studying his cousin's face the entire time she had been in her daze and his eyes grew wide with alarm when he saw the flicker of terror pass through her eyes. It had been small, lasted maybe a second but it had been there.

"What did Jason do to you?" he demanded to know.

Sam came back to reality at Nikolas' angry voice. "What do you mean?" she asked dumbly.

"Sam, what did Jason do when he found out about the men in the park?" he asked.

"He confronted me," Sam said, downplaying her former lover's reaction.

"Don't lie to me," Nikolas said. "I can see it in your eyes. He did something that scared you and I want to know what it was."

"He didn't hurt me if that's what you're asking," Sam said.

"It's not," Nikolas said, not interested in changing the subject the way Sam seemed to be.

"You have to understand how he was feeling at the time," Sam began to say.

"No, I don't. I just need to know what he did. And you don't have to defend him anymore," Nikolas said.

"I'm not defending him. I'm trying to explain," Sam said.

"Well, don't. You're not his girlfriend anymore. You don't owe him anything," Nikolas said.

"He was mad at me for putting Elizabeth and her kids in danger. He felt betrayed when he thought that I was trying to hurt his son and when the people he cares about are threatened, he does whatever he can to protect them," Sam said.

"What, like drive people out of town? Because that's what happened, isn't it?" Nikolas' voice rose in anger at Jason. He had suspected that Jason had played a part in Sam's rather sudden exit and now having his suspicion confirmed, he was angry as hell that someone had driven his cousin out of town.

"Whatever Jason did, whatever he said, that's the reason you left, right?"

Sam nodded reluctantly. "Yes," she said.

"Did he pay you to leave?" Nikolas asked.

Sam narrowed her eyes in annoyance. "No, he didn't! And even if he offered to, I wouldn't take his money to save my life!" she shouted.

"I finally found my family. There is no amount of money in the world that would make me leave them."

"Then what did he do?" Nikolas yelled back.

"He said he'd kill me!" Sam snapped without thinking.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Nikolas leaned back on the couch he had been sitting in. His mouth was hanging open in disbelief while his eyes were swirling with many emotions. The strongest being a surge of anger towards Jason Morgan.

Jason had driven his cousin out of town; a place she could finally call home and away from those that loved her. Nikolas was also angry because Jason had the nerve to accuse him of murdering his beloved Emily when he had threatened the woman he had claimed to love for three years.

Sam was still talking but most of what she was saying went unheard by Nikolas.

"It wasn't hard to quit the show, despite the fact that I had a contract. Amelia was more than willing to help me leave town," Sam said. She took a deep breath and chuckled. "I thought she would be a bitch about that like she was about everything else. After all, she came to Port Charles to make my life hell and then she helped me leave. I guess she figured that if she couldn't hurt me anymore, she would just get rid of me and get back to her old life."

"I don't care about Amelia," Nikolas finally spoke, silencing Sam with the anger in his voice.

"You said you wanted to know what happened after I left," she said shakily.

"No, I wanted to know why you left and now that I do, I want Jason arrested," Nikolas said, getting up and grabbing the phone to call his brother, Lucky Spencer.

Sam got up and pushed the button that ended his call to the authorities.

"What are you doing?" Nikolas asked as the phone was taken out of his hand.

Sam returned the phone to its cradle and glared at him. "I'm stopping you from doing something stupid," she said.

"I'm doing my civic duty," Nikolas said.

"The police aren't going to arrest Jason for threatening to kill me," Sam told him.

"Why not?" Nikolas asked.

"It happened two years ago and Jason and I were the only ones there," Sam replied.

"So?" he asked.

"It's my word against his and as I told you before, my word isn't worth anything to anyone," Sam replied.

"He's threatened to kill people before. He's a hit man for God's sakes; he actually follows through on most of his threats," Nikolas said.

"And what am I supposed to say when they ask _why_ he threatened me?" Sam asked.

"The truth," Nikolas replied.

A scoff escaped her lips. "They would arrest me instead," Sam argued.

"And since Jake's 'father' is a cop, they would try to lock me up and _lose_ the key."

"You don't know?" Nikolas asked.

"What?"

"They told the truth; Lucky knows that Jake isn't his son," Nikolas replied.

"Elizabeth actually told the truth?" Sam was stunned. She didn't think the saint had it in her.

"No, Jason did," Nikolas replied.

"Why?" Sam wondered. Jason had been so insistent on keeping Jake safe and was under the delusion that the best way to do that was to let Lucky raise him.

After all the trouble he went to, to ensure his son's safety, why would he tell the world the truth?

"I don't know, maybe he wanted to claim his son," Nikolas replied as if he could hear her thoughts.

"I'm glad Lucky knows the truth," Sam said.

"Yes, so now I can call him and tell him what Jason did to you," Nikolas said, returning to the subject of making Jason pay for his crimes for once.

Sam rolled her eyes. "If making him pay means sending him to jail, it's not going to happen," she said.

"Jason threatened to kill you! He shouldn't get away with it," Nikolas exclaimed hotly.

"He already did and I'm not going to send him to jail for protecting his son," Sam declared and she raised her eyes to meet his gaze, a determined look set in them.

"No matter what you did to Elizabeth or Jake, it doesn't give him the right to break into your home and utter death threats," Nikolas said.

"Would you be saying the same thing if Emily and Spencer had been there too?" Sam questioned.

He was about to answer but Sam cut him off.

"Don't even try to deny that you wouldn't do anything to protect your son."

"I wasn't going to," Nikolas said, sitting back down on the couch, "but Jason and I are two different people. There are limits to how far I will go. Threatening the life of another person in their own home is going too far."

"You know he didn't actually kill me," Sam pointed to herself, showing that she was in fact alive. "There's a difference between threatening to do something and actually doing it."

"Why do you do that?" Nikolas asked.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, wrinkling her brow in confusion.

"Why do you let Jason get away with everything? Can he really do no wrong in your eyes?" Nikolas asked.

"That's not what I'm doing," Sam began but her words once again fall on deaf ears.

"If anyone other than Jason had threatened to kill you, you would not only tell them to go to hell, you'd give them the finger while doing it," Nikolas began, sitting up straight. "How do you get to a point where death threats just roll off your shoulders?"

"This isn't about Jason, it is about me!" Sam exclaimed.

"Jason drove you out of town. He said he'd kill you, and you ran away," her cousin roared angrily.

"I will never forgive him for what he did, not that he'd care if I ever did or not," Sam spoke calmly. "But I actually think he did me a favour."

Nikolas stared at her in disbelief. "What?"

"When I lost Jason to Elizabeth, I went down a very dangerous road," Sam said.

"You were hurt," Nikolas said, nodding in understanding. Sam looked at him incredulously. "All right, you might've been a little angry too."

"I was furious," she corrected him. "I wanted revenge against both of them, and I didn't care what I had to do or who got hurt in the process."

"You mean Jake?" Nikolas asked.

Sam closed her eyes in regret as she remembered standing by while Maureen took the infant out of his stroller when Elizabeth had looked away.

"Yes, and Lucky," Sam replied.

"What did you do to him?" Nikolas asked.

She grimaced as she began to tell him all about her plan to make Elizabeth pay for stealing Jason.

"Elizabeth had Jason's son so you took her husband?" Nikolas asked, getting the jist of her plan.

Sam nodded. "I'm glad I left before things between us went any further." She took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. "I was headed for a complete breakdown; everything I did was a step closer to my destruction. I've lost a lot in my life but never myself. Until then."

"And Jason knew you weren't acting like yourself so he decided to give you a wake-up call, is that what you're telling me?" Nikolas asked incredulously.

A flash went through her mind and she recalled the contempt in his voice and the emptiness in his eyes when he looked at her. "No, he did that to protect Elizabeth and Jake; he did it to scare me, not to save me."

"So he might've followed through if you had stayed and continued to stir up trouble?" Nikolas asked.

Sam sighed. How was she supposed to predict what Jason would do? The Jason she knew, or thought she had known, was no longer around. "I don't know what he would have done but I wasn't going to stick around to find out," she said.

"She's lost her mind," Jason Morgan exclaimed to his boss Sonny Corinthos. At Sonny's amused smile, Jason added, "I'm serious, Sonny. She has really done it this time."

"What?" Sonny asked.

"I know that being pregnant is tough on women and that the raging hormones make them extra crazy but Carly's pregnancy seems to have made what little sense she had just disappear," Jason continued to rant as his boss stood from the desk and proceeded to sit down on the couch in the living room.

As he took his seat, Sonny let out a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever Carly had done now. From Jason's reaction, he knew it was bad.

"What did she do?" Sonny asked.

Jason rubbed his temples with his hands as he sat down in one of the chairs. "She called me over this morning and asked if I could take Michael to school so I did. But when I showed up, she sat me down in the living room and asked me to do something for her," he began to explain.

"Whatever it was, it can't be as bad as you're making it out to be," Sonny reasoned, trying to reassure himself that his ex-wife hadn't done something insane once again.

"Oh, it's worse," Jason corrected him. He shook his head in disbelief and then looked Sonny in the eyes. "She asked me to throw her a baby shower."

Sonny tried to maintain his composure as he looked back at Jason and opened his mouth to respond. "Well, you are her best friend," he said and a few giggles escaped at the end of his sentence. Jason glared at him. After that, he could no longer hold the laughter inside.

"She might have to be committed again," Jason said seriously.

"Jason, you are one of the most important people in Carly's life and so she feels the need to include you in things," Sonny said.

"Baby showers are supposed to be thrown by women for the pregnant woman, not by me," Jason said, standing up once again and walking around the room. "There are so many people she could ask."

"Like who? Bobby's out of town and Carly doesn't have many girlfriends," Sonny said.

"There's got to be someone other than me," Jason said.

"The only other woman that is still alive that Carly tolerated was Sam and unless you know where she ran off to, you're the only person left."

Jason stiffened at the mention of his ex-girlfriend's name. He glared harder at Sonny.

Sonny realized what he said and shook his head in regret. He should've known better than to bring up such a sore subject.

Sam McCall had left Port Charles shortly after Jason had taken care of her after her misdeeds that had put Jason's son, Jake, with Elizabeth Spencer in harm's way.

Sonny didn't know exactly what his enforcer had done to get the vengeful woman to not only promise to stay away from Jake but to also pack up her things and leave her family behind. But he could imagine that whatever method Jason had chosen to deal with the situation, it hadn't been pretty.

The second to last conversation Sonny had had with Sam was when he confronted her about standing by while Jake was kidnapped and she had responded by telling him that she would no longer accept people like himself, Carly and Jason passing judgement on her.

_"It must be wonderful to be one of the chosen few," Sam began angrily as she balled her hands in to fists as her anger at the man before her grew. "You and Jason and Carly- your tight little circle- gets to sanctimoniously decide what's best for everyone else; who we get to love and how much."_

She pointed at him as she said, "You get to do whatever you want and we're just supposed to take it!" She raised her eyebrows incredulously at the man's gall. "And god forbid, Sonny! God forbid if one of us have the gall to act out in hurt or frustration- you beat us with the consequences and tell us we had it coming."

She took a few steps back and started to turn on her heel. "I am not_falling in line anymore."_

That had been the end of his friendship with Sam. He was quite positive that the woman hated him more now than he had hated her at the time. He had foolishly let her boss manipulate him into hating Sam for something she had done in self defence and while he still believed that Amelia had the right to hate Sam for killing her father, he also believed that Sam had every right to defend herself against an abusive spouse regardless of what she had done.

In hindsight, he wished he had been more understanding to the pain Sam had been feeling at the time. He knew that it was more shock than anger that had caused him to confront her in that manner.

It was hard for him to imagine that the woman who had been there for Jason through everything that had happened in the three years that they were together could stand by and watch while his son with another woman was kidnapped by someone she knew was unstable.

_"The woman that stood by while Jake was kidnapped, who hired men to threaten Elizabeth and Jake in the park- that is not you," Sonny told Sam._

She had stopped by his house because she knew that her little sister, Kristina, was staying the night and she wanted to say goodbye before she left town.

After Sam had put Kristina to bed for the night, she had come to his office to say goodbye and he had started to ask her why she was spiraling out of control.

"Now I know how you were feeling, but it's incomprehensible to me that you would do those things to an innocent baby just to get even with his parents," Sonny said.

"Then you don't know how I was feeling," Sam said.

"I understand how hurt you were when Jason lied about Jake but come on, that's not an excuse for you to go on a rampage and target Jake for retribution!" Sonny exclaimed, standing now. "How could you just stand there? What possessed you to do such a thing?"

"I don't know!!" Sam shot up and closed the distance between them.

Sonny was caught off guard by the frustration in her voice and he softened a bit once he saw the storm of grief in her eyes. "What?" he asked.

"You heard what I said," Sam replied.

"What does it mean?" Sonny looked at her questioningly.

"It means that I snapped_!" Sam exploded. "I was losing my mind and when Jake was kidnapped, everything was happening at once. Elizabeth was parading her lovechild with Jason around, pretending that Jake was Lucky's, lying to everyone. And one minute I was watching her, full of jealousy that she gave Jason the son he's always wanted, the one I would never be able to give to him and the next minute, he was gone. Maureen had swooped him up and disappeared in a matter of seconds."_

"I froze and by the time I realized what was happening, it was way too late. I couldn't tell anyone because they wouldn't have understood."

"People can surprise you, Sam. All you had to do was go to Jason and tell him what you saw. He would have backed you up, defended you if you had just told him but instead you let him suffer for days; not knowing whether Jake was alive or dead was tearing him apart."

"No, Jason had already accused me of kidnapping Jake so he wouldn't have understood. And I couldn't make him understand because the fact of the matter is, I have no reason." Sam wiped the tears away from her eyes. "I don't know why I did what I did. I could say that I was hurt, that I was so angry with Elizabeth and Jason for what they did to me but that's no excuse and I'm not going to try to justify the inexcusable."

"So what are you going to do?" Sonny asked.

"I'm leaving town," Sam reminded him.

"Running away?" He asked. "That's your solution?"

"It's the only way I can make sure that I don't hurt anyone else," Sam said and then she left without another word.

That was when he had started to feel guilty about all the things he had said to Sam the time before. But he was too late because when he wanted to apologize to her, she had already left.

"Look, Jason, you can either throw the shower or not, it's up to you," Sonny finally said, hoping that the conversation wouldn't escalate to Jason trashing Sam.

It didn't take a genius to know that Jason hated Sam at the time she had left. Whether his opinion had changed was anyone's guess. Sonny had tried many times to get him to open up about what he was feeling but Jason would only say that ever since Sam left, he didn't think about her.

His reaction to just hearing her name was all the proof anyone needed to know that, that wasn't true.

But the man lived for his son now.

Jason had claimed his son a few weeks before Emily's death. It was his sister that finally pushed him to speak up and raise his son. Emily had pointed out that Jake deserved to know his father and that Elizabeth's fears and Jason's own insecurities shouldn't stand in the way of that.

Emily had bravely called both Elizabeth and Jason out for what they were doing to Lucky; telling them that letting him believe that he was Jake's father when he really was not wasn't right. And at the time they were carrying on behind Lucky's back when Elizabeth was still married.

Elizabeth and Lucky had separated for a few months after the truth about Jake had come out. During that time, Elizabeth and Jason started seeing each other in secret because Elizabeth didn't want Lucky to know about them since she wasn't completely sure that she was done with their marriage.

Sonny thought it was despicable the way the woman had led both Jason and Lucky on but didn't interfere when Jason made it perfectly clear he wouldn't tolerate anyone disrespecting Elizabeth.

The relationship had fizzled because Elizabeth could not handle Jason's lifestyle. She had gone back to Lucky and the two began to rebuild their marriage and to this day were still married to one another. They know had a son named Stephen Nikolas Spencer.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cassadine, but you can't go in there. Mr. C and Jason are in the middle of a meeting," Max had finished saying when Nikolas managed to walk around him and burst into the room.

"You miserable son of a bitch," Nikolas growled at Jason when he spotted him sitting in a chair near the couch that his boss occupied.

"What is going on?" Sonny asked, looking to his bodyguard, Max, for answers.

"Mr. C, I'm so sorry, I tried to stop him," Max apologized to his boss.

"I pay you to stop people from barging in on my private meetings, not to try to stop them," Sonny reminded Max and then sent him back to his post outside the door with a wave of his hand.

Sonny stood up and walked over to Nikolas. "We're in the middle of something here," he said politely despite the fact that he was very annoyed with the royal jackass.

Nikolas looked past him and focused on his enforcer. "What is it with people like you that makes you think you can get away with anything?" he demanded to know.

Jason rolled his eyes at Nikolas. "I haven't done anything to you," he said.

Sonny watched as Nikolas looked at Jason incredulously.

"Oh, so you didn't threaten to kill my cousin?" he asked.

Sonny glared at him and started to defend Jason but then he glanced at him and noticed the guilt that passed through his eyes. He turned to his friend and asked, "You threatened to kill Sam?"

"That's right. Sam finally told me why she suddenly left town two years ago earlier today," Nikolas answered for Jason.

Jason looked to Nikolas. "What do you mean, she told you today? She talked about that over the _phone_?" he asked in alarm.

Nikolas cocked his head at him. "Why do you sound so worried?" It was no secret that after Emily's murder, the police suspected Nikolas was the killer and tapped his phone lines in the hopes of gathering some evidence on him.

"And, no, we didn't speak over the phone," Nikolas said. Jason's face relaxed. "She's not that stupid. She told me a while after she arrived at Wyndemere."

"Sam's back in Port Charles?" Sonny asked. He glanced over at Jason whose face had returned to an unreadable brick wall.

"Yes," Nikolas confirmed. He turned to Jason. "And despite my best efforts, she refuses to turn you over to the authorities. It amazes me that after everything you've done, she is still protecting you. It seems even the notion that you would kill her has no impact on her loyalty to you whatsoever."

**_Dialogue from first flashback was written by the writers of General Hospital_**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Where is he?" Sam asked Alfred, her cousin butler.

The old man looked at her strangely before answering, "I believe he told you where he was going, did he not?"

Sam had to hand it to him; he was loyal and very efficient at avoiding having to answer her questions. She had been standing with him in the kitchen for almost five minutes trying to get him to spill his guts. "He lied," she reminded him, "but he told you where he really went."

"He might have," Alfred admitted, giving her something to work with.

"And the only reason I can see for him to lie about it is if he's doing something that I might not appreciate," Sam said, studying him for any hint of a reaction.

"Whatever you told him had him very upset," Alfred said.

"Alfred, come on, you know exactly what I told him and you know where he went," Sam said, looking at him expectantly. She figured he would try to remain loyal and deny it.

"I never said I didn't," Alfred said.

"Just tell me where he is!" Sam exclaimed, balling her hands in frustration. "I appreciate the protective attitude Nikolas has towards me but I can take care of myself. I don't need him fighting my battles."

"You are family and Nikolas doesn't take anyone in his family being threatened lightly," Alfred began to explain, hoping she would take he hint.

He would never outright tell her where Nikolas went because that would mean betraying Nikolas' confidence but he knew that with his illness, he was a walking time bomb and going to confront Jason was like lighting a match and throwing it in a puddle of gasoline.

Sam's eyes finally lit with realization. "He went to Greystone, didn't he?" At Alfred's nod, Sam clapped herself on the forehead. "I never should have told him what Jason did. He went there looking for trouble and he's bound to find it."

"Where are you going?" Alfred asked following her out of the kitchen as she gathered her purse from atop Nik's desk and pulled her jacket on.

"I'm going to stop him," Sam said, fishing her keys out of her purse.

"He won't leave easily," Alfred warned her.

Sam winked at him. "I'll drag him away if I have to," she declared arrogantly.

Alfred smirked approvingly. "Good luck," he said.

Sonny watched as Nikolas walked over to Jason. "What right did you have to tell Sam to leave town?" he asked.

"That was her decision, not mine. I told her to stay away from Jake and his mother, that's it," Jason replied, glaring at Nikolas, warning him not to push too far.

"No, Jason, that's not it," Nikolas spat back in his face. "Somewhere in between confronting her about the men in the park and telling her to stay away from your family, you threatened to kill her."

"Sam didn't leave town on her own. She left because of you. You scared her and rather than sticking around and run the risk of doing something to set you off, she decided to cut and run."

"This happened a long time ago. Why are you about it now?" Sonny asked.

"Maybe because I just found out that a member of my family was threatened by someone who swore to protect her once upon a time," Nikolas replied, glaring at Jason the whole time he spoke.

"What if Sam chose not to listen to you? Would she have mysteriously disappeared like Lorenzo Alcazar and so many others before him?" Nikolas asked, getting right in his face.

"I would do anything to protect the people I care about," Jason said with a blank expression.

"And what about the people that care about Sam, huh?" Nikolas asked, walking around the back of the chair. "What would you have told us? What would you have said to Sam's daughter the next time you visited her grave?"

"All right, that's enough of that," Sonny said at the mention of his dead daughter.

"No, Sonny, it's not enough. How can you live with yourself?" Nikolas shouted at Jason.

"I was protecting my son!" Jason exclaimed, rising to his feet and glaring at Nikolas.

"Protecting your son doesn't give you a free pass to kill my cousin!" Nikolas roared.

"I gave her chance after chance and she kept on pushing me. So I warned her about what would happen if she didn't stop," Jason said.

"Who are _you_ to make that call?" Nikolas asked. "How many sons have you killed in your career as Sonny's hit man?"

"Who are you to judge me after what you did to my sister?" Jason shot back.

"I didn't kill Emily," Nikolas thundered.

"You knew you were having rage blackouts but you insisted on throwing that damn ball! You put her in harm's way by keeping her around you. You might not have killed her but you didn't protect my sister that night," Jason said.

"Emily loved me," Nikolas said and he leaned against the back of the chair in misery. "She refused to leave even after I told her to."

"You should have _made_ her leave," Jason said.

"Forcing people to leave might be your style but it's not mine," Nikolas said, the double meaning behind his words not escaping Jason.

"I did not force Sam to leave town!" Jason shook with anger.

"You didn't really give her any other choice, did you?" Nikolas asked.

"Why don't both of you just shut the hell up?" A voice demanded.

All three men turned to the doorway and were surprised to find Sam standing there with Max, holding the door open as she glared at Jason and Nikolas, her eyes bright with anger.

"Sam," Nikolas began to defend himself but Sam raised a silencing hand to him.

"You should be ashamed of yourselves," Sam said, shaking her head in disgust. "Emily would be so disappointed if she could see the two men she loved most fighting like this, blaming the other for things you both know would not have made a damn bit of difference."

"That's not what I came here for," Nikolas said.

Sam raised an eyebrow. "But isn't it?" she asked, walking into the room and not surprised when she heard the door close behind her. Max knew better than to try to drag her out of the house when she was mad.

"You came here for a battle and that's what you got," Sonny said to Nikolas.

"One that wasn't yours to fight," Sam said, looking at her cousin with some kind of demand in her eyes.

"I," Nikolas started to say but when he saw Sam widen her eyes pointedly, he realized she was telling him to choose his words wisely. He knew that what he was about to say would make her angrier. "I'm sorry," he said instead.

"You're forgiven. Now let's get out of here, please," Sam said, gesturing towards the door and the two cousins started to head towards the exit.

"Sam," one of the two mobsters called out.

Sam stopped dead in her tracks mainly out of shock. She had expected him to give her the cold shoulder, which would have been fine with her, because she really didn't have anything nice to say to either one of them.

She turned on her heel and Sonny took a step forward.

"Welcome back," he said.

"Uh-huh," she murmured through gritted teeth, doubting his sincerity.

She could feel Jason's eyes on her and surprised them both by turning to him and acknowledging him with a neutral nod. "I'm sorry about your sister," she said but didn't wait for him to respond.

As she turned back around to head out the door, she softly added, "And Leticia."

Back at Wyndemere, Nikolas and Sam joined by Alexis, Lulu and Lucky were sitting in the living room together.

"Now how about you tell us what you found out while you were away?" Alexis asked her nephew.

"Where did you go?" Sam asked, looking at Nikolas in surprise.

"I went to Zurich on a consult for my illness," Nikolas replied.

"Why are you only telling me this now?" Sam asked.

"Because I only want to say this once," he replied.

"Well, what did the doctors say?" Lulu asked.

"It's a tumor," Nikolas finally said.

All four of his family members gasped.

"And they think it might be inoperable," he added.

Sam put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said.

"At least you know what's going on," Lulu said, trying to brighten his spirits up.

"You're going to pull through this," Lucky added.

"We'll ask for a second opinion," Alexis said.

"That is a second opinion. The first one said it was definitely inoperable," Nikolas replied.

"Then we'll get a third and fourth opinion if necessary," Sam said, smirking at the chuckle that escaped her mother's lips.

"You're not alone in this, we will be there for you," Lulu said.

"You have an amazing son that needs you. That's something to live for," Sam said.

Nikolas nodded and looked at Alexis regretfully. "They both said that it is genetic so, Alexis, you and the girls should all be tested," he said.

"Of course," Alexis nodded.

"And you too, Sam," Nikolas eyed her.

"Yeah," Sam said.

"Yet another wonderful gift from the Cassadine heritage, huh?" Nikolas asked her.

"Uh, yeah," Sam agreed nervously.

Lucky and Lulu both left to go do something with the Spencers.

"I better go too, I need to talk to Ric and Sonny about getting the girls tested," she said and hurried out.

"And then there were two," Nikolas said.

Sam laughed and she looked at him. "Hey, can I ask you something?" she asked.

"Sure," he said.

"This test that I have to take- will it hurt?" she asked.

"It's just a blood test so unless, you don't like needles, it's nothing to worry about," Nikolas said.

"Okay. I'll call the hospital and schedule the test for sometime this week," she said.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Alexis Davis knocked on the door to Sonny Corinthos' office in the back of the coffee shop.

"Come in," a male voice commanded.

Alexis opened the door and was disappointed to find Sonny's business partner, Jason Morgan, sitting in the seat behind the desk instead of Sonny himself.

Jason looked at her in surprise. "What do you want, Alexis?" he asked, putting the paperwork he had been filling out back in the folder so that prying eyes wouldn't be able to read it.

"I wanted to talk to Sonny about Kristina," Alexis replied.

"Sonny's not here," Jason said, gesturing to the office they were in.

"I can see that. Do you know where he is?" she asked.

"He should be here in ten minutes," Jason replied disinterestedly.

Alexis nodded. "Okay, I'll wait for him out front," she said, opening the door and started to leave the office.

"Is Kristina okay?" Jason asked.

Alexis faced him and bit her lip. "She should be," she replied as another wave of worry hit her about the possibility that Kristina, Molly or Sam could also have Nikolas' illness.

"What do you mean?" Jason asked.

"I'd rather talk to Sonny about this, Jason, and I'm sure he'll tell you all about it afterwards," Alexis replied, once again turning to leave.

Jason shook his head in frustration. Nobody ever wanted to tell him anything right away. He had to keep pushing for answers nowadays.

"Does this have anything to do with Sam?" He didn't think Sam was the cause for Alexis' worry about Kristina. Despite her past misdeeds, he knew that Sam loved her sisters and would never do anything to hurt them.

That seemed to catch her attention as she turned back around and closed the door behind her. "Why would you ask me that?" she asked.

"I know Sam is back in Port Charles," he replied. He guessed she didn't think he was aware of his ex's return to town.

"So?" Alexis asked, seemingly unmoved by his admittance. "I didn't realize people were required to notify you before they decided to come to town."

Jason caught the message in her words. She was reminding him that he and Sam weren't together anymore so Sam didn't have to tell him anything.

"She's not," Jason replied, looking up at Alexis. "I just find her decision to return to Port Charles odd. She's been away for two years and she never paid a visit to her family in that time, but, now, all of a sudden, here she is."

"There is a reason Sam came back to town," Alexis replied, rolling her eyes at Jason's now suspicious gaze. "But it has nothing to do with you or your son."

Jason widened his eyes. He wondered if Alexis knew about his threat to Sam as well or if she was talking about Jake's kidnapping.

"And what's going on with Kristina does affect Sam," she continued, opening the door behind her once again. "But it is not a result of anything that Sam has done." Then the door slammed shut behind her.

Sonny led Alexis into his office fifteen minutes later and told her to take a seat in one of the chairs. He himself sat down in the chair behind the desk that Jason had previously occupied. His enforcer now stood at his side.

"What's going on with Kristina?" Sonny asked.

Alexis opened her purse and took out a few pages stapled together and handed them to Sonny. "I need you to sign that," she said.

Sonny began reading the contents of the paper and then looked up at Alexis in alarm. "You want me to consent to an MRI and CT Scan?" he asked.

Alexis shook her head. "No, I want you to consent to the blood test first. Depending on the results from that, she may or may not have to have an MRI and CT Scan," she replied.

"What is going on?" Sonny asked.

"Nikolas returned from Zurich a few days ago," Alexis replied.

"What was he doing there?" Sonny asked, not understanding what this had to do with their daughter but played along because he knew Alexis would not be telling him if there wasn't a reason.

"It was a consult arranged by Patrick Drake to find out what was causing his blackouts," Alexis replied.

"Did they find anything?" Sonny asked.

"A tumor," Alexis replied, sighing in exhaustion. "The doctors think that it's inoperable."

"What does this have to do with Kristina?" Jason asked for his now speechless boss.

"It's genetic," Alexis replied. "There is an enzyme or something in the bloodstream that is unique to the tumor that they can detect in the blood test."

"And if Kristina has it?" Sonny asked.

"Then she'll have to have an MRI and a CT Scan so the doctors can get a look at the tumor. Depending on where it is and how large it is, they may be able to operate," Alexis replied.

"If this is genetic, then there's a chance you could have it as well?" Sonny asked.

"I'm fine. I got my blood results yesterday," Alexis replied.

"You've already been tested?" Jason asked.

"Yes, I got tested with Molly when Ric and I took her to GH a few days ago," Alexis replied.

"When will Kristina be tested?" Sonny asked.

"I asked Sam if she would take Kristina with her so they could get tested at the same time like Molly and I did," Alexis replied.

"Sam's getting tested?" Sonny asked in surprise.

Alexis nodded. "Sam is a Cassadine too," she replied, reminding Sonny that Sam was her daughter. "She's even more at risk since she and Nikolas have the same rare blood type."

Jason remembered back when Sam had been shot and the doctors were giving her transfusions that Nikolas had confronted him with the information that he and Sam shared the same blood type and that they were cousins.

_Nikolas Cassadine waited until Jason's mother, Monica Quartermaine, walked away from her son before he approached him._

"So it turns out that my blood is a perfect match to Sam's but I guess that doesn't surprise you, does it?" he asked.

Jason turned to him and nodded. "Thank you for helping her," he replied.

Just then, Maxie Jones exited the elevator and walked up to the nurses' station.

Sam's cousin shrugged at him. "I did it for Alexis. She needs to know that she did everything she could," Nikolas explained.

Jason scratched his cheek. "Sam's still alive, nobody's giving up," he cut him off.

Maxie watched as Nikolas began to accuse Jason.

"Well, Sam and Alexis could've been enjoying each other these past few months but I'm going to go ahead and guess that you pressured her into keeping silent," Nikolas said. Jason furrowed his brow at him in confusion. "Your dislike for Alexis- or whatever it is- may have cost her and Sam the only chance they had to spend time together as mother and daughter."

"Actually, Sam made her own choice," Jason told him.

Nikolas took a deep breath. "Well, that's called 'passive-aggressive', see you," he said, and pointed his finger at Jason accusingly. "You might not have said anything directly to her, but I'm sure that you made it very clear to Sam that you expected her to keep the secret."

He shrugged and widened his eyes at him as he continued. "And she did. Sam never got a chance to have a relationship with her mother, and now she's dying from a bullet that I'm sure was meant for you."

Jason started to walk away but Nikolas held up a hand and said, "One second."

"What is it with you? You don't get to be with your family, so no one else can either?" he asked. "I mean, you took Michael from AJ and you kept Sam from Alexis."

"Are you that selfish or is it about control for you?" he prodded.

Jason looked at him expectantly.

"You get to decide what's best for everyone based on what's best for you?" Nikolas elaborated.

Jason considered his question. "Thanks for the blood," he snapped and walked away.

"When is she going to the hospital to get the test done?" Sonny asked.

"Tomorrow after Kristina is out of school," Alexis replied.

Sonny nodded.

"If you want to take Kristina instead of Sam taking her," Alexis began to tell him that it was okay and that she understood.

"No, no, no," Sonny shook his head, "I agree with you that it would be better for Kristina if she had someone there to get tested with her. She won't feel alone."

He handed her the signed permission form and they said their goodbyes.

"Oh, God," Sonny said once Alexis closed the door behind her. "This is bad."

Jason walked over to the other side of the desk. "I hope Kristina is okay," he said, showing his support.

"Thanks," Sonny said. "I'm glad that Sam will be there with her."

"Sam loves her sister," Jason agreed, ignoring the worry that crept up his spine about the possibility that Sam could have the same illness as her cousin.

"Well, here we are," Sam said as the elevator opened up to the fourth floor of General Hospital.

She took Kristina's hand and they both walked up to the nurse's station.

Elizabeth Spencer turned around and saw Sam McCall and Kristina Davis approaching her. Hatred crossed her porcelain features at the sight of the woman but she shoved it down and asked, "Can I help you?"

Sam fought the urge to tell the nurse to go to hell. She might have accepted that Elizabeth had Jason's son and realized that she was wrong for all the things she did against her and Jake but that didn't mean she had suddenly started to like the lying wench.

In fact, Sam hated her and she was certain that that was never going to change just as she was sure that Elizabeth still hated her and her suspicion was confirmed when she saw the disgust in the nurse's eyes.

"We're here to get those blood tests done," Sam replied in a neutral tone.

Elizabeth checked the chart and realized that Sam was there with her sister to get tested for the same illness that Nikolas had. "Follow me," she said, walking out from behind nurses' station and lead them to a curtain area.

"Someone will be by to take your blood soon," Elizabeth said.

"Why can't you do it?" Kristina piped up.

"Sweetie, I have more important things to do than to help the likes of-" Elizabeth started to answer but Sam cut her off.

Sam's eyes widened in disbelief when she realized what Elizabeth was about to say and she jumped to action as she turned her sister around to face her.

"Kris, why don't you get started on your homework while I talk to Nurse Spencer for a minute?" She helped her sister get her books out and once she was settled, she whirled around to glare at Elizabeth.

"I really don't have time to chat," Elizabeth started but Sam grabbed her by the arm.

"Too bad," Sam hissed as she yanked Elizabeth a few feet away from where her sister was working on her homework but close enough so she could still keep an eye on Kristina.

"Would you let go of me now?" Elizabeth asked, as she tried once again to free herself of Sam's tight hold on her arm but was unsuccessful in her attempt. Sam had a grip like a vice.

"What the hell was that?" Sam demanded angrily, releasing her hold on Elizabeth's arm.

"I answered your sister's question," Elizabeth replied simply.

"Uh-huh," Sam chirped disbelievingly. "You were about to call me a piece of trash in front of my own sister. Not very professional."

"It's hard to be professional around you after everything you've done to me," Elizabeth replied.

"Grow up, Elizabeth, this isn't the time or the place to confront me," Sam pointed out, looking around the hospital pointedly. She figured the nurse of all people wouldn't want to get into something so personal at her place of work.

"You watched an unstable woman walk away with my baby because you couldn't stand that I had Jason's son," Elizabeth began to rant angrily. "Anything could've happened to him but you didn't think about that, did you? All you cared about was that Jason was nowhere near Jake."

Sam scoffed. "Oh no, you're not going to pin that on me. _You're _the one that kept him away from Jake when you asked him to let you raise _his son_ with Lucky."

"Jason agreed that it was safer for Jake to be with us," Elizabeth defended.

"Because you manipulated him into believing his life was too dangerous," Sam said.

"And you hired those thugs to attack me in the park to reaffirm my decision." Elizabeth shot back.

Sam looked down in shame.

"You were so bitter that Jason and I had Jake that you were willing to do anything to get back at us, including putting my son in danger."

Sam bit her lip. "You're right," she admitted.

Elizabeth glared at her. "That's all you have to say for yourself?"

"Would you prefer that I make up some excuse for what I did the way you explained away all your lies to Lucky and Jason?" Sam asked.

"You," Elizabeth started.

"That's the difference between us," Sam interrupted the argument she knew Elizabeth was preparing in her head. "I'm not going to excuse what I did. I'm not going to lie to you and say that I was right. I did terrible things and I'm sorry."

"If you think that I'm going to forgive you for what you did-" Elizabeth hissed.

Sam cut her off. "_I_ am the one that has to live with what I've done for the rest of my life, not you."

"But at least I realized that what I did was wrong and apologized. You _lied_ about Lucky being Jake's father for months. You told Jason the truth and manipulated him into keeping it from the people that loved him and your husband. And then you talked him into giving up his son," Sam said.

"You destroyed all of our lives just so no one would know that you cheated on your husband."

"I did what I had to do to protect Lucky," Elizabeth said.

"You protected _yourself_, Lucky was just your excuse," Sam replied.

"You had so many chances to make things right but you kept the lie going and for what? For _nothing_ because now the truth is out; you and Lucky are back together and Jason has shared custody of Jake," Sam continued.

"I've made things right with the people that matter," Elizabeth said.

"Meaning that you don't owe me anything?" Sam asked.

"Not after what you did," Elizabeth replied.

Sam shook her head in disappointment. "I guess some things never change," she said as she walked back to Kristina and waited for a different nurse to come and take their blood for the test.

_**Dialogue from flashback was written by the writers of General Hospital**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"I am so relieved," Alexis finally let out the breath she'd been holding ever since she, Sam, Kristina and Nikolas had walked into Sonny's house with the envelope holding Kristina's test results.

"What did they say?" Sonny asked, his gaze turning hopeful at the happiness in his daughter's mother's voice.

"She's okay, Sonny, our little girl is perfectly healthy," Alexis told him and handed him the paper she held in her hand as proof.

Sonny quickly scanned the results and a smile graced his lips as he let out a scream of victory. "Thank God," he said and handed the paper to his best friend so Jason too could see the results.

"I'm happy for you both," Jason said after he finished reading the paper. He handed it to Nikolas who scanned the paper anxiously.

"Kristina, Molly and you are all okay," Nikolas told his aunt, thanking God that his disease didn't curse them too.

"Sam, where are your results?" Alexis asked, looking to her eldest daughter happily. Her two younger daughters were spared. Surely, Sam would be too.

"Did you bring them?" Sonny asked.

Sam nodded. "They're right here," she fished them out of her pocket and revealed the unopened envelope holding the results to her blood test.

Nikolas snatched it from her and stared at her in disbelief. "Why haven't you opened it?" he asked.

"I wanted to know Kristina's results," Sam replied. It wasn't exactly a lie. She did want to know that her sister was okay before she worried about herself but deep inside, she knew that she was scared of what might be in the envelope.

"Well, open it now!" Alexis told her.

Her cousin handed her the envelope and Sam clutched it between her hands nervously. She stared at it for several seconds before Sonny handed her his letter opener.

Jason watched as Sam cut the envelope, pulled the paper out and began to unfold it in an agonizingly slow manner. He could see the worry in her eyes as she held the envelope and studied it undecidedly before she opened it.

She read the paper thoroughly and about halfway through the contents she had frozen and her mouth had opened partly, causing her lips to make a slight "o".

"Sam?" he asked her uncertainly.

She raised her gaze to him and he could see her answer within her eyes before she ever said the words.

"The results are positive," she announced.

Nikolas took the paper from her and skimmed the contents. "Oh God, Sam," he said as he pulled his cousin into a hug, "I'm so sorry."

Alexis had tears in her eyes and Sonny put a comforting hand on her shoulder to which she responded and held onto him as she sobbed.

Sam pulled away from her cousin's embrace and put the paper back in the envelope. She then tossed the envelope on Sonny's coffee table.

"Now I know why Robin wanted to talk to me tomorrow," Sam said softly and she angrily wiped away the tears that were rolling down her cheeks.

"What happens now?" Jason asked Nikolas who turned to him in surprise.

He knew that he was probably wondering why he even cared what would happen. He knew he should hate Sam and he had in the past but when she left, he had started to think about everything that had gone down between them in the months before she left; his lies and her secrets; her failure to understand his decision to let Elizabeth raise his son with Lucky, and then despicable acts against his son.

It was clear to him now that she had had a breakdown of some kind. Thanks to his sister who had finally lashed out at him about all the ridiculous things he had done.

_"I know you think you're doing the right thing by giving up Jake but you're not, Jason. Both of you are wrong," Emily Quartermaine told her brother._

"Why can't anyone understand that I am trying to protect my son?" Jason asked.

"By lying to him and everyone else?" Emily asked, shaking her head in disappointment. "Not even Sam would support your decision and she has almost always accepted every decision you ever made with no questions."

"Sam has nothing to do with this," Jason spat, his anger flaring at the mention of his ex.

"Because you lied to her about it," Emily reminded him.

"She is in no position to judge anything that I do," Jason said cryptically.

Emily rolled her eyes at his justification. "I know Sam has done questionable things, Jason," she began but he cut her off.

"You have no idea the lengths she will go to for revenge!" he shouted angrily.

"I know everything," Emily reiterated. "And while I don't condone anything she did, I understand where Sam was coming from."

"What?" Jason asked.

"Jason, whether you want to admit it or not, you made a huge mistake when you decided not to tell Sam about Jake in the first place," Emily told him. "I know what it's like to watch another woman carry the child of the man that I love. I know firsthand how that rips a person up inside."

"Courtney," Jason realized.

"Yes, Courtney and Nikolas had a son together," Emily said. "And I love Spencer as if he were my own but knowing that I am not his biological mother still eats away at me because I can't help but think that if Courtney had lived, I would be stuck watching her and Nikolas raise Spencer together."

"It was hard knowing that she and Nikolas had been together and I bet that it was hard for Sam to know about you and Elizabeth," Emily said.

"It was but that's no excuse for what she did," Jason said.

"Do you ever think that she probably regrets what she did more than you do?" Emily asked.

"Her child wasn't stolen," Jason said.

"Her child died, Jason. If you think that she can't possibly know what it was like for you and Elizabeth, you are very wrong," Emily said.

"She didn't know what happened to her baby when she first woke up, right?" Emily asked. "It wasn't until you told her that her worst fear was confirmed."

"That just makes what she did all the more heinous because she knows what it's like," Jason said.

"She was twisted up inside about that baby and when that woman took her, Sam hit rock bottom and that is when a person starts to recover. Not before."

"What, did you talk to Sam about this?" Jason demanded angrily, surprised that his sister would betray him like that especially if she knew all the things Sam had done.

"Oh, you bet I did!" Emily exclaimed. "I didn't cut into her like everyone else. I listened to her. I know how sorry she is for what she did. She knows it was wrong and she will continue to pay for it for the rest of her life. Do you really believe that whatever you think about her is worse than anything she thinks herself?"

She had continued to call him out for what he was doing to Lucky as well and that was when he had decided that it was time for him to stop lying about everything.

"She'll have to have an MRI and a CT," Nikolas replied.

"Sam, maybe we should take you to the hospital right now," Alexis said, walking over to stand beside her daughter.

"I don't," Sam struggled to get the words out. "I don't know."

"What?" Sonny asked in confusion.

Sam hesitated before she answered. "I need to go, be by myself for a while," she said and gathered her things as she headed towards the door.

"Sam, wait," Alexis said as she began to follow her daughter out the door. But Jason caught her by the arm and pulled her back.

"Let her go. She needs time to digest this," Jason said.

"She shouldn't be alone right now," Nikolas argued and started to walk towards the door.

"If you crowd her right now, she will push you away and won't let you help her when she really needs you," Jason warned him.

"I know what she's going through right now," Nikolas snapped.

"I know Sam," Jason retorted.

Alexis scoffed. "Yeah, since when?"

"Jason and Sam were together for a long time, Alexis," Sonny pointed out.

"Two and a half years ago," Nikolas shot back.

"And then you told Sam to stay out of your life," Alexis said, turning around to face him with anger flashing in her eyes. "Now it's time for you to stay out of hers."

"This isn't about what happened then, this is about Sam and how to help her," Jason said.

"Oh, so now you care about helping her?" Nikolas shook his head in disbelief.

"Believe it or not, I do," Jason said.

"I don't believe it," Nikolas told him. "You treated Sam like something you scraped off the bottom of your shoe. You threatened her to protect Elizabeth, the woman you had already betrayed her with, and now you expect us to stand by while you waltz back in to her life, acting like all that didn't happen?"

"Never mind _us_, Jason, do you really think Sam will ever let you help her?" Alexis asked.

"Not right away," Jason replied.

"Not ever, Jason," Nikolas shook his head for emphasis. "Sam doesn't trust you. There is no way she will let you back in after what you did to her."

"She forced me," Jason said.

"That's your defence?" Alexis laughed harshly. "Sam made you do it?"

"She didn't force you to lie. She tried to get you to tell her the truth after she _heard_ you and Elizabeth talking because she trusted you. Sam didn't realize that had she not overheard the two of you talking, she never would have found out about your son."

"And she's not responsible for your threat," Nikolas added to his aunt's comments.

"Jason reacted without thinking. He said those things in the heat of the moment. He didn't mean it and he never would have hurt Sam," Sonny rose to Jason's defence.

"Then why is it so hard for him to understand where Sam was coming from?" Nikolas wondered. "Could it be that he feels he's the only one allowed to make mistakes and not have to answer for them?"

"You talk the talk, Nikolas, but it wasn't your son that was put in danger because of what Sam did," someone said.

They all turned to the door and were surprised to find Carly Corinthos-Jacks standing at the door.

"If Spencer had been there…" she began to point out that he would have done the same thing.

"I wouldn't have threatened to kill my cousin!" Nikolas exclaimed. "I may act rashly at times and say things that I don't mean but I am not capable of hurting someone I love like that."

Carly opened her mouth to reply but Jason stopped her.

"Enough!" Jason exclaimed. "I appreciate you standing up for me, Carly, but it's not necessary. I know that what I did was wrong and Sam has every right to hate me for it. But whether she does forgive me or not, that is between me and Sam."

"There is no such thing," Alexis said.

Jason rolled his eyes and walked out the door. He had had enough of debating what might happen with Sam and him and who was right or wrong. They both were wrong. They both made mistakes and they had both paid for them.

"You'd like to think that but the truth is that there will always be something between them," Carly said.

Sam stood at the docks, peering down at the water, contemplating what her test results would mean in the long run for her.

She wondered how big the tumor in her brain was and whether or not it was operable. And if it were, would she even have the surgery? The last time someone had cut into her brain, the decision had not been in her hands and while Patrick Drake was overly confident when she had woken up, she knew her recovery had been in question afterwards.

"Sam?" He called to her, breaking her from her thoughts.

She turned and rolled her eyes when she saw Jason standing a few feet away from her. He closed the distance between them in a matter of seconds.

"Did you follow me?" she asked suspiciously, looking for anyone else who might be there too.

"No, I needed time to think," he said.

"About what?" Sam asked. He wasn't the one who had just found out he had a tumor. What was he so worried about? She wondered as she saw the confusion in his eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Sam stared at him incredulously. "No," she snapped.

"Sorry," he apologized lamely.

Sam shrugged it off. "Whatever."

"What were you thinking about just now?"

"Karma," Sam lied.

"What?" Jason asked, furrowing his brow at her.

"It really strikes in unexpected and _twisted_ ways," Sam replied brokenly.

"What does karma have to do with anything?" Jason asked, failing to see the connection.

"Don't you get it?" Sam asked, looking at him expectantly. When he continued to look at her in confusion, she added, "This is payback."

"Sam," Jason began to tell her that it wasn't true.

"And payback is a tumor," she finished. She turned away from him and looked out at the water. "When you think about it, I have had this coming for a very long time. This is exactly what I deserve, don't you think?"

"You don't deserve this tumor, Sam," Jason replied as he walked a few steps closer to her. He started to reach a hand out to touch her shoulder and turn her around but Sam whirled around to face him.

"Who are you kidding, Jason? I deserve this and _more_ for what I've done."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Sam walked off the elevator onto the fourth floor of General Hospital after walking away from Jason on the docks.

She had left him before he could respond to her declaration because the truth was that whatever he had to say, she wasn't interested in hearing. His take on the reason behind her tumor's formation was meaningless. She was angry at herself for even talking to him in the first place.

But it seemed that the fates hated her even more than she gave them credit for as she looked up to see Jason at the nurses' station talking to Elizabeth Spencer.

How the hell had he gotten there so fast?

"When do you need me to pick him up?" Jason finished asking.

Elizabeth glanced over at the clock and returned her gaze to him. "Three would be great. Lucky and I will be leaving by 4 so we can drop Cam and Steve off at my grandmother's."

Sam rolled her eyes at the joy on the woman's face as she continued to talk about the romantic getaway that she and Lucky had planned.

"I really appreciate you doing this," Elizabeth added.

"He's my son, Liz, I'm more than happy to take him off your hands for an extra night," he told her.

Sam walked up to them and looked at the nurse only. "Is Robin ready to see me yet?" she asked.

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at her as she glanced at a chart in front of her. "No, she's still with a patient right now. You'll have to wait," she replied.

Sam sighed in annoyance. "Do you know how long it will take?"

"No, I don't, Sam. You'll just have to be patient," Elizabeth snapped as she once again glared at her. "Maybe work on not being so selfish while you wait."

Sam stared at her in disbelief. She wondered what the hell Elizabeth's problem was. She knew she wasn't fond of her, the feeling was more than mutual, but it seemed every time she opened her mouth, Elizabeth was even more hostile than the last time.

Did she even know what the word professional meant? Sam wondered as she shook her head and walked away from Elizabeth.

"I'm sorry you had to see that, she just bugs me," Elizabeth apologized to Jason.

Jason understood her hatred of Sam. As Jake's mother, she had every right to feel the way she did. But Elizabeth was also a nurse and Sam was a patient. It was her job to keep patients calm, not to irritate them.

"Don't you think you were a little harsh?" Jason asked carefully.

Elizabeth's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Me being too harsh to the woman that watched my baby get kidnapped?" she asked and let that hang in the air for a minute. "Not possible."

"Elizabeth, I understand why you hate Sam and I'm not saying that you shouldn't feel that way, but Sam was just asking a question," Jason replied.

"It's not my problem if she's so selfish she can't wait a few minutes for her appointment with Robin. It's not like her life depends on it or anything," she said.

"Actually, it might," Jason answered without thinking.

"What do you mean?" Elizabeth asked, looking at him curiously.

"Sam has the same condition Nikolas does," Jason replied.

"Oh," she said softly, her eyes cast downward in fake shame. "I didn't know." She continued to fight the urge to smile at the news.

"Yeah, Big Bad Sam finally got hers," Sam remarked from behind them.

Jason turned to see that Sam was now standing a few feet away from them, resting against a pillar instead of sitting down in a chair.

"Eavesdropping now?" Elizabeth shook her head in disgust.

Sam rolled her eyes. "It's not as if you were being discreet, Miss Holier than Thou, when you were discussing my illness in front of the entire hospital with me three feet away."

Elizabeth was silent. Satisfied that she had actually rendered the bitch speechless, Sam returned to her chair in the waiting room that she had been sitting in before she got up to stretch her legs.

Jason left Elizabeth and followed Sam. He sat down beside her.

"What are you doing?" Sam demanded.

"You're wrong," Jason told her, ignoring her question.

"About what?" she asked.

"You didn't get this tumor because of what you did," Jason said.

"Why not?"

"A tumor doesn't form in a brain to punish people. If that were true, only people like murderers and thieves would suffer from them," Jason said.

"Don't forget kidnappers," Sam said boldly.

Jason's gaze hardened at the mention of her actions against his son. "You didn't kidnap Jake."

"I watched it happen and didn't do or say anything; that makes me just as guilty as Maureen," Sam disagreed.

Jason studied her as she spoke, surprised that he never noticed the regret in her eyes as she spoke about what she had done. It was as plain as day.

"That," he started to say but she raised a hand to him.

"Why do you even care?" Sam demanded to know.

He stared at her in confusion.

"You couldn't be bothered to give a damn two years ago. In fact, you were ready and willing to kill me yourself so why does anything about my life suddenly matter to you now?"

Jason stared at her.

"Sam," Robin called to her before he could answer. "Come on."

Sam glanced at Jason as she rose to her feet but shook her head at him and followed Robin out.

"What does that mean?" Sam asked Patrick Drake after he finished telling her where her tumor was in her brain in medical jargon, which in her opinion might as well be gibberish.

"Your tumor is putting pressure right here," Robin intercepted the question as she pointed to a random spot on the MRI that was now hanging on an illuminated board. "The behavioural part of your brain."

"You mean it's not the same as Nik's?" Sam asked.

"Nikolas' tumor affects his behaviour in different ways than your tumor does," Patrick replied.

"And the tumor in my brain affects me how exactly?" Sam asked.

"Well, it might make it harder for you to analyze things," Patrick explained.

Robin elaborated, saying that she might have trouble thinking rationally, causing her to do some uncharacteristic things.

"It could explain what happened with Jake's kidnapping, for instance," she added.

Sam stared at her in disbelief. "That's ridiculous," Sam dismissed the notion instantly. "That's like saying I watched Jake get kidnapped because I didn't know it was wrong."

"Exactly," Patrick said.

"But I did know it was wrong," Sam said.

"Maybe you did afterwards but not when it actually happened," Robin said.

"That's wishful thinking," Sam shook her head. "I might loathe myself for what I did but I don't believe that the tumor could affect me so terribly that I wouldn't know that it was wrong."

"We're the doctors, Sam," Patrick told her. "We do know that a tumor can affect you like that. Just look at all the things that Nikolas has done in his fits of rage."

"But they happened while he was in a rage," Sam said.

"You could have watched Jake get kidnapped while you were having a similar episode," Robin tried to explain. "Instead of a rage blackout, your tumor causes you to lose complete ability to distinguish between right and wrong."

"That is bull," Sam spat as she jumped off the table and bolted.

Robin and Patrick caught up to her near the nurses' station. "You feel guilty because at the time you didn't know you had a tumor but it wasn't your fault."

Sam stopped dead in her tracks and stared Robin and Patrick down. "And what about the days afterwards that I stayed silent? Could it cause that too? Do I get to blame every bad thing that I have ever done on my tumor?" She exploded.

"I don't understand why you won't accept this," Robin said. "Is it really easier for you to believe that you're a horrible person than it is to believe that you weren't in control of your actions because you didn't have the ability to make a choice?"

"I did make a choice!" Sam exclaimed. "It was the wrong one, but it was a choice and I made it!"

Patrick's eyes widened with realization. "You're afraid of not being in control, is that it?"

Sam shook her head. "I am in control."

"Because if you could do that, you're afraid of what else could happen because you weren't in control," Patrick said.

Tears were streaming down her face as she shook her head at him in denial. "That can't happen," she told him insistently.

Robin's face creased with sympathy as she stepped forward and put an arm on Sam's shoulder in an attempt to comfort her.

Sam stiffened at the contact but continued to shake her head.

"It's okay," Robin soothed her as she now hugged Sam who had responded by hugging her back. After a few minutes, they were able to lead Sam back to the examination room to talk more about her condition.

Jason finally walked around the corner and stared at Sam's retreating form having heard the entire conversation.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"How is Sam doing?" Sonny asked when Alexis turned to leave his office after they had finished discussing the parent-teacher conference that was coming up at Kristina's school the next week.

The woman turned around and looked at him, allowing him to see past the tough façade she showed the rest of the world and he could clearly see her terror. "I'm worried about her," she replied.

Alexis filled him in on what Robin and Patrick had told Sam about the effects her tumor and what it meant for her. "She keeps saying that she's fine, but I don't think she believes it anymore than I do."

"Maybe she's still feeling guilty," Sonny ventured a guess.

"For what?" Alexis asked, walking further into the room. "The kidnapping happened years ago, and now she knows that there was an actual reason behind it, that she wasn't being a vindictive, hateful person. She should feel like a weight's been lifted off her shoulders but instead, she's acting like it's about to crush her."

"Knowing and accepting it are two different things," Sonny said. "And after so many people, including herself, have driven home to her that she could've done something to stop the kidnapping but didn't, I think it's going to take a long time for her to accept that she wasn't in her right mind when she did those things."

Alexis furrowed her eyes at him in confusion. "Things?" she repeated in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Sonny grimaced as he realized that he hadn't kept his words to the singular, letting Alexis know that there had been another incident. "I meant the kidnapping and then keeping quiet about it," he tried to cover.

"Sonny," Alexis glared at him as she sat down in one of the chairs across from his desk to let him know that she wasn't going away anytime soon.

"There may have been another incident," he finally admitted.

"What happened?" Alexis asked.

"It's really not my place to tell you," Sonny said. "It's Sam's."

Alexis folded her arms across her chest and rolled her eyes. "Sam is choking on guilt and sooner or later, it's going to eat her alive. She's not going to tell me herself so someone has to be human enough to do it for her," she said.

"Ask Nikolas," Sonny suggested.

"He knows?" Alexis' eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Why didn't he tell me?"

"Probably because Sam asked him not to," Sonny said.

"How bad is it exactly?" Alexis asked, hoping that he would give her something to help her prepare herself. "It's not as bad as the kidnapping, is it?"

"It just might be worse," Sonny replied.

Alexis pulled out her cell phone and dialled her nephew's number. "Nikolas, hello, it's Alexis. Please call me back as soon as you get this message."

"Of all the times for him to be unavailable," she gritted out as she put the phone back in her purse.

"There is someone else you could ask," Sonny said, looking at the door to his office.

"Who?" Alexis asked eagerly.

"Max, come in here," Sonny called out to the guard standing outside the door.

Max opened the door and poked his head in. Before Alexis could pounce on him about Sam, Sonny spoke, "Tell Jason I need to see him."

Max nodded and closed the door behind him.

"I can wait until Nikolas calls me back," Alexis told him, starting to get up to leave but Sonny reached over the desk and grabbed at her arm, pulling her back.

"He'll be here in a few minutes," Sonny said.

"I'd rather hear it from someone else," Alexis said.

"No, now that I think about it, other than Sam, Jason might be the best person to tell you about what happened," Sonny said.

"If Jason is involved the way I think he is, I doubt he will cooperate," Alexis said.

"Sam isn't the only one with things to atone for in this situation," Sonny said, and hoped that she would take his hint that Jason had done something in retaliation to Sam that had cut her deeply.

"Why are you helping me?" Alexis finally asked. "I thought you considered Jason to be family."

Sonny nodded at her assessment of his relationship with Jason. "He's like a brother to me," he said.

"Then why help me with Sam?" Alexis asked.

"Because I regret the way I treated her as I'm sure Jason will once we fill him in. We were too busy being angry and vilifying Sam to stop and look at the situation for what it was," Sonny replied.

"Sam stood by Jason when he lost his memory and had brain surgery, helped him find Michael, Kristina and Morgan when they were all kidnapped. She was there for him when we all thought Michael was dead and she helped Michael when he was struggling with what happened to AJ. It's about time we returned the favour."

The door opened and Jason walked in. His eyes registered surprise when he noticed Alexis was in the room but he turned to Sonny. "You wanted to see me?"

Sonny nodded. "There are some things you need to know about the tumor in Sam's brain," he said. "Have a seat."

Jason sat down and surprised them both when he raised a hand to stop Alexis. "I already know what it does. I was there in the hospital the day she found out," he said.

"Sam never said anything about you being there with her," Alexis said suspiciously.

"She didn't know. I overheard their conversation near the nurses' station."

"So you know that Sam wasn't in control of her actions when she watched Jake being kidnapped?" Sonny asked.

"Yes, I do," Jason replied. "I was going to try to talk to her about it, but I've been busy with Jake while Elizabeth and Lucky are out of town."

"Sam is having trouble accepting that she wasn't at fault for the things she's done," Alexis told him. "She won't forgive herself and I've been trying to help her but it's been hard."

"Why?" Jason asked.

"Because I didn't know that there's something she's holding back," Alexis replied.

"Tell her about the men in the park," Sonny told his enforcer.

Jason looked at her hesitantly.

"I need to know everything," Alexis assured him she was prepared for it.

"Do you remember the time Sam saved Elizabeth from the gunmen in the park and Jake and Cameron were there with her?" Jason asked.

"Yes," Alexis replied.

"Well, Sam didn't save Elizabeth," Jason said. At Alexis' confusion he added, "The incident was staged to scare Elizabeth."

"By Sam."

Alexis sat back in the chair and closed her eyes in disbelief. "My daughter hired armed men to scare Elizabeth in front of her children?" she asked in horror.

"Sam said she was trying to give Elizabeth a warning to stay away from me before something like that happened to her or her children for real," Jason replied.

"Because Sam was shot and can't have kids," Alexis realized, following her daughter's line of thinking somewhat. "She was trying to do a good thing, but it got lost in translation," she told herself.

"Sam was there to make sure things didn't get out of hand, that's how she ended up 'saving' the day," Sonny replied.

Alexis looked at Jason meaningfully. "Thank you for telling me."

"I hope it helps," Jason replied.

Alexis nodded in agreement. She started to get up and leave but Sonny called her back.

"If you need anymore help, just ask," he said.

Jason sat in his penthouse and watched his son sleep and his thoughts dwelled to Sam.

_"If I were in danger or someone was threatening me, would you even lift a finger to help me?"_

Sam had asked him that a few days after he had threatened to kill her. He had told her that he would need to see the danger for himself before he believed anything that came out of her mouth again.

A few days later, she had left town.

He didn't want to believe Nikolas when he said that he was the reason Sam left town but he knew now that it was true. He had been so blinded by anger and hatred but if he had bothered to give it a second thought, he would have realized that something was seriously wrong with Sam.

And now she was drowning in guilt over things that she had done when she wasn't thinking properly because of a tumor that was slowly killing her and he couldn't think of anything to help her.

He turned to see his son stirring from his sleep and got up to hold him. As he stared down at Jake now in his arms, a thought occurred to him.

"You need help," Alexis said.

"Why?" Sam shot back. "Because I refuse to gloss over something as serious as watching a kidnapping and not saying a word to anyone?"

"That wasn't your fault," Alexis replied. "Your tumor took away your ability to think clearly and yes, you watched something horrible, but at the time, it was the same as watching a cartoon on television to you."

"And what about staying silent for so long? I continued to put Jake's life in danger by not saying anything," Sam said. "How am I supposed to forgive myself for that?"

"The incident in the park wasn't your fault either," Alexis said again. They had been arguing for twenty minutes, going back and forth from the kidnapping to the men in the park.

"Yes, it was my fault!" Sam screamed.

"You are not a horrible person," Alexis yelled back equally. "Your mistakes do not define you."

Nikolas shook his head at his aunt and sat down beside Sam on the couch in the equivalent of a living room on her boat. "I did horrible things too, Sam," he said.

"They don't compare," Sam shook her head. "And you don't remember them afterwards. I do."

"I stabbed someone," Nikolas said, dredging up the incident in which he had stabbed Jerry.

"He assaulted Logan Hayes on numerous occasions," Alexis recalled.

"Those things don't compare to what I did during my so called 'episodes'," Sam replied.

"What about Emily?" Nikolas asked.

"What did you do to Emily?" Sam asked.

"I watched her die, Sam. I was there when she was killed and I didn't do anything to stop it," Nikolas said.

"You were knocked out," Sam said.

"Was I?" Nikolas challenged. "I can't remember that. For all I know, I flipped out and strangled her."

Sam eyed him. "I read the papers. They tested your DNA against the DNA on the rope and yours didn't match. You've been exonerated so don't try to tell me that you killed Emily. You would never hurt her," she said.

"I went off on her more than once, Sam, and she took it in stride but I did hurt her," Nikolas replied.

"You didn't mean anything you said. She knew that," Sam assured him.

"And you weren't trying to hurt Jake, Cameron or Elizabeth," Nikolas said.

"They could've gotten hurt and it would've been my fault," Sam disagreed.

"No, place the blame where it belongs. If something had happened to them, whoever shot them would be at fault. But you were there and chased them off before things could've gotten out of hand," Alexis interrupted and put her hand on Sam's shoulder.

"The whole thing started with me. Those men were on my payroll and they were there because I was mad at Jason and Elizabeth!" Sam exclaimed.

"What if I really do hurt someone? Are you going to tell me that it wasn't my fault then too?"

"Your tumor," Alexis tried to say but Sam cut her off.

"May cause me to lose my mind but that doesn't change the fact that I did those things and it doesn't give me the right to run out and commit murder and then say that it wasn't my fault," Sam said.

"We're just trying to help you forgive yourself, Sam," Nikolas said.

"I can't," she finally said.

Jason boarded Sam's boat the next day and headed over to her door and knocked on it a few times.

"What do you want?" Sam asked as she spotted Jason at her door as she came up the ladder. She tossed her duffel onto the deck so she could climb on.

Jason stared at her in surprise and noticed she was wet. "Where did you come from?" he asked.

"I came back from scouting a job," Sam replied as she retrieved her duffel and opened her door.

She walked in and set the duffel down on the chair by her desk. Jason had followed her inside and taken a seat on her couch.

"Do you even know what an invitation is?" Sam asked him when she turned around and spied him. "You have an annoying habit of coming into my home without them."

"Sam, I didn't come here to fight with you," Jason said.

"Oh, so we're just going to skip right to the threat this time?" Sam asked curiously.

Annoyance flashed in his eyes but he ignored it. He would take her insults in stride because well, he deserved them and they did need to talk. "I came here to talk to you," he said.

"How did you even know where to find me?" Sam asked suspiciously.

Jason opened his mouth to answer. "Oh, wait, let me guess, you had Spinelli find out for you," Sam answered for him.

"Actually, when he heard you were back in town, he wanted to visit you so he found out for himself," Jason replied.

Sam bit the inside of her mouth in regret. "Oh," she said.

"Why didn't you just get your old apartment back?" Jason asked.

"Because this is my home," Sam replied and gestured to the area around them. "It helps that all my stuff is in one place when I'm working."

"You went back to salvaging?" he asked.

"I own my own company now," she replied.

"That's great," Jason said.

"What do you want, Jason?" Sam asked bluntly.

"To talk," Jason replied.

"About what?" Sam asked.

Jason hesitated before he answered. "I know what your tumor does to you, Sam," he said.

Sam's eyes glazed over with rage. "My health is my business. You had no right to read my medical file!" she exclaimed.

"I didn't look at your file," Jason said.

"Then how do you know anything?" Sam asked.

"I was there at the hospital that day. I heard everything," he said.

"You mean when I ran out of the examination room and the doctors followed me?" Sam asked.

"Yes," he replied.

"So you know that I wasn't in my right mind," she realized.

Jason didn't notice that she wasn't asking a question. "Yes, I know," he confirmed.

"And you're here to do what? Tell me that you forgive me now that you know that I was insane?" Sam asked.

"No," he said. "I'm here to apologize."

Sam stared at him in disbelief. "What?" she asked.

"I shouldn't have threatened you," he replied.

Tears sprang to her eyes at the memory. "Don't do this, Jason," she said, shaking her head at him, pleading with him. "It's not going to change what happened."

"I have to, Sam," Jason said. "I was so mad that Jake could've been in danger that I didn't stop and think about you at all."

"Well, I'm pretty much used to that, Jason," Sam said. Her voice was full of anger when seconds ago it had been filled with pain. "I got over it. I don't want your pity."

"It's not pity," Jason insisted.

"Fine, maybe its guilt but I don't want that either!" Sam exclaimed, whirling around to face him again. "I want you to leave me alone."

"You need help," he pointed out and rose from the couch to walk towards her.

"Why does everyone keep telling me that?" Sam asked.

"Because we know you're not going to ask for it on your own, Sam," Jason replied.

"That's not what I meant," Sam said, shaking her head in amusement. "I know that I need help. I don't need everybody pointing it out to me every ten seconds. I don't need people telling me things that I already know all the time."

"And I definitely do not need your help," she hissed.

Jason watched as she walked over to the door and opened it. Then, she turned to him and waved goodbye to him and looked at the door pointedly. He nodded in understanding.

"If you change your mind, you know where to find me," he stopped two feet from the door and turned to her.

Sam glared at him. "That's not going to happen. If I need help, there are people that I can count on to give it to me," she said, giving him a little push out the door. "I wouldn't come to you if you were the last man on the planet." The she slammed the door shut in his face.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"So where is it exactly?" Maxie Jones asked her friend Sam McCall as they sat and waited for the doctor to return from answering a page.

Sam glanced at Maxie who was staring at the numerous CT Scans of her brain that hung on the illuminated board a few feet away.

Maxie turned to her with a smile. "Do you even know?" she asked, sensing Sam's annoyance.

"I did, six CT Scans and four MRIs ago," she replied.

The younger girl's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Why so many?" she asked.

"They're trying to figure out if they can operate," Sam answered tiredly.

"Do you want to have the surgery?" Maxie asked, brow creasing in concern.

"I haven't given it much thought," Sam said as her mind once again wandered to the subject.

"Liar," Maxie commented as she turned back to examine all the scans of Sam's brain, "You know, when this is all over, I can help you make a scrapbook of these."

Sam turned to her friend and stared at her in disbelief. Noticing the gleam in the young girl's eyes, she started to laugh.

"You have an amusing way of dealing with these kinds of situations," she remarked.

Maxie shrugged. "I know what it's like to worry about your health; to think that any moment could be your last," she told Sam and shivered as she recalled her own brush with death not too long ago.

"Your heart condition," Sam realized that Maxie understood what she was feeling more than she had given her credit for. At first, she had thought she sympathized with her because as a volunteer, she had watched many patients go through hell with illnesses similar and vastly different from hers.

"Yeah, it hasn't given me much trouble lately," Maxie said with a nod of confirmation, "But it'll always be there."

"Were you scared when you had surgery?" Sam looked at her curiously.

"Sure, and I was scared afterwards too because I feared there would be a time when they wouldn't be able do anything to help," Maxie replied.

"Usually I'm a gambler," Sam told her seriously as she began to unload some of her fears of the surgery that might be able to make her herself again. "And the last time I had brain surgery, I came out of it unscathed, but this time could be different."

"There are risks with any surgery, Sam, and something tells me you're not really worried about that," Maxie told her. "I think you're concerned that surgery might not even be an option."

Sam smirked and wondered how Maxie had been able to read her so well.

"Two surgeons told Nikolas that his tumor was definitely inoperable," she confessed.

"That's their opinion, and even if they're right, you're not Nikolas," Maxie said.

"We have the same condition, Maxie," she pointed out.

"Yeah which means that you both have a tumor," Maxie retorted as she came over and sat down in the chair close to the table Sam was sitting on. "We already know they affect you in very different ways."

"And they're not in the same place," Nikolas added and both girls looked up to find him standing in the doorway.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asked.

"Getting a third opinion," Nikolas replied, coming into the room and hugging his cousin. "Dr. Drake agreed to take me on as his patient and promised that if there's even the chance that the tumor could be removed, he'd try it."

"What made you change your mind?" Sam cocked her head at him. He'd been putting off seeing another doctor for as long as she'd been back in Port Charles.

"You," he replied. "Spencer needs me, and I want to watch him grow up."

"Aw, that's so sweet," Maxie drawled from the chair.

Sam chuckled at her friend and watched in amusement as Nikolas rolled his eyes at them both.

Patrick Drake entered the room and looked surprised when he saw Nikolas and Maxie in the room. "You're very popular today," he remarked.

"I believe someone is supposed to be at the front desk. A certain head nurse we all know asked me if I'd seen you and her tone suggested she was very close to losing her patience," he added, eyeing Maxie, who rolled her eyes at the news.

"What's she going to do, fire me?" She didn't look worried at all which amazed Sam. Epiphany Johnson was one woman she didn't enjoy crossing and even though she'd never admit it, she was a little scared of her.

"I need to speak to Sam alone anyways so you might as well get back to work," Patrick told her.

"Oh, I'll leave but I can't promise the front desk is where I'll end up; I get distracted," Maxie smiled wickedly as she waved goodbye at Sam and left the room.

"He can stay," Sam said as she noticed Patrick looking at her cousin expectantly.

"Okay, if you're sure," Patrick said, giving her one last chance.

Sam nodded at him and spoke first. "I just want the truth from you, not what you think I need to hear."

"Okay," he said as he sat down in the chair Maxie had previously occupied. "I looked at your most recent scans and the news isn't very good."

"What is it?" Sam asked.

"Your tumor's grown, rather quickly," he told her.

Sam sighed. "Can you operate?"

"There is a surgery that I can perform to remove the tumor; hopefully, all of it, but I can't guarantee that," Patrick replied, looking at her sympathetically. "And the surgery is risky."

Remembering Maxie's words Sam realized that she was right. She couldn't live in fear of what-ifs anymore. "I'll take the risk," she said after a few minutes.

"Hey Jase," Carly Corinthos-Jacks smiled at her best friend as she once again walked into his penthouse without knocking.

Jason looked up from his seat on the couch and shook his head glumly at her and nodded at her.

"Where's Jake?" she asked once she noticed that the infant was not in Jason's arms and that his playpen was empty.

"He's over at Sonny's playing with Morgan," he replied.

"When do they get back?" she inquired, wrinkling her nose at the thought of Elizabeth. Lucky was her cousin but the two never seemed to get along, and she had lost what little respect she had for him when he remarried the shrew again after everything she had done to him.

"Two days," Jason said, wrinkling his brow at how quickly his time with his son had passed.

"What's wrong?" she asked, taking a seat beside him on the couch and studying his face which was washed with misery.

"You don't want to know," he replied.

"It's Sam, then," Carly deduced.

"Yes," he said and raised his gaze to meet hers, "I went to see her, and she told me to leave her alone."

"Good for her," Carly remarked and Jason narrowed his eyes at her, insulted. "What?"

"Why is that good?"

"Because you shouldn't be forgiven so easily," Carly told her and cut her eyes at him for emphasis.

He realized now that she knew about the death threat. "I know that," he said.

"Do you?" Carly questioned. "Then why are you sitting around moping instead of out proving yourself to Sam?"

Jason looked at her in disbelief. "Why are you suddenly against me? You hate Sam."

Carly rolled her eyes at his dramatics. "I'm not against you, and I'm not sure how I feel about Sam anymore."

"What?"

"You know how much I hate to admit it when I'm wrong but I was wrong about Sam," Carly said and let out the breath that she holding. "There, I said it."

"I was mad at her because I thought she dumped you because she didn't need you anymore but it was really because you lied about Jake for so long, right?"

"That was part of it," Jason admitted, nodding.

"Well, you lied to me about him too and I remember how angry and hurt I was. I can only imagine how Sam felt," she said.

"She was crushed," Jason confirmed.

"And that's when I finally realized what really went down with the two of you," she said, deciding not to dredge up the kidnapping or the park thing. "I misjudged her. I can't say we'll ever be best friends or anything but I don't hate Sam."

"Wow," Jason commented, too stunned to form a complete sentence.

"I know," Carly nodded in agreement. "Who'd have thought I'd ever say that?"

Jason shrugged in response.

"Anyways, I just see things from Sam's point of view," she added.

"I know that I hurt her and destroyed her trust in me," Jason said before she could tell him what everyone else had told him since Sam had returned.

"And what are you going to do to fix that?" Carly inquired.

"What can I do?" he retorted.

"Let her know you're not going anywhere this time for starters," Carly said, looking at him in annoyance.

"I told her that if she changes her mind I would be here," he said.

Sometimes she wanted to scream at him for being so thick-headed. "If you stay away, you're only proving her right; that you don't care."

"So you're saying that I should do exactly what she asked me not to do?" Jason asked.

"Yes!" Carly exclaimed, exasperated. "When she told you to leave her alone, it was her defences talking. Now I'm not saying you should be there every time she turns around- that would just annoy her."

"But you should be around from time to time. Maybe 'accidentally' bump into her when she's at the hospital a few times," she suggested.

"Or at Kelly's," Jason added, finally seeing her point.

"He finally sees the light," she muttered sarcastically.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

_"I'm glad you told me," Emily spoke softly as she cradled the cordless phone in the crook of her neck with her shoulder as she walked to a room where she could speak freely._

"You are?" the person on the other end asked in surprise.

"Yes, now I understand what you were going through," she said.

"It's no excuse."

"I didn't say it was, but it answers some of the questions I had," Emily said, shaking her head at the person as if she stood before her.

"I hope you know why I told you."

"I think I do," Emily nodded in understanding and she sat down on the only sofa in the room she was now in.

"And you weren't going to hear it from either of them."

"Don't worry, Sam," Emily told her and glanced over her shoulder to double check that she closed the door behind her. "I'll make sure Jason claims his son."

"He deserves to have Jake in his life," she replied.

"I agree."

"There's just one more thing," Sam said, her voice growing urgent.

"What?" Emily asked in concern.

"Jason can never know," she said.

"Why not?" She furrowed her brow. "I'm sure he'd be very grateful."

"No," Sam argued. "He would kill me."

Emily narrowed her eyes at the implication. "Jason would never intentionally hurt you, Sam, despite everything that's happened," she said.

"Promise me you won't tell him," Sam said, choosing not to point out that Emily had rose-coloured glasses on where Jason was concerned and that she didn't really know the darker side of him.

"All right, I won't tell him," Emily complied.

"Do you swear?" Sam asked.

"Yes," Emily promised.

Sam ended the phone call and the young intern stared at the phone in confusion.

It had not been hard to tell Jason's sister the truth that day. While she knew that she was betraying him once again, she had done it because she knew Emily would eventually succeed where she had failed; she would convince Jason to finally claim Jake as his son.

"And I would do it again," she spoke out loud and looked up at the sky, imagining that maybe Emily could actually hear her. "Every time."

"Do what?" Jason stepped out from around the corner and sat down beside her in the waiting room.

Sam sighed.

It had been the third time this week that he had shown up out of nowhere and joined her uninvited. First at Kelly's three days before; then at her mother's house the day after that, claiming he was there to explain why Sonny had decided to add two new guards to the security team at the lake house and finally the day before, he had walked her out to her car after her appointment with Patrick Drake.

"Is this a coincidence too?" she asked, daring him to tell her once again that he wasn't purposely seeking her out.

"No, Alexis told Sonny that you were here today to book an appointment for the surgery," he said.

"And what does that have to do with you?" she asked.

"I wanted to talk to you," Jason replied.

"About what?"

"Are you sure that surgery is your best option?"

Sam wanted to slap him because for so long, he hadn't given her a second thought but now, when she didn't want to need him, he was ready to be there for her. "I'm not discussing this with you," she snapped.

"Brain surgery is risky," he said.

"And it is my risk," she reminded him and then pointed at him. "This has nothing to do with you, Jason. Stay out of it."

"I'm worried about you," he confessed.

Sam scoffed. "You are unbelievable!"

He looked at her in confusion.

She stood up and began to pace around the waiting room. "Now you're worried about me?" All of a sudden, she stopped in front of him. "Now, after we've been apart for so long? Perfect timing, Jason."

"Where was this concern when we were actually together?" Sam cocked her head at him.

"Why couldn't you worry about me then?"

He started to answer but she cut him off.

"Oh, that's right. You were too busy lying to my face to give a damn about me," she spat.

"That is not true. I thought that if you knew I had a child with someone else, it would destroy you especially after learning you couldn't have children," Jason exclaimed hotly.

"Well, you were wrong," Sam yelled equally. "It was your lies that destroyed me. After everything I've been through, all the lies that I had been fed by Cody and Evelyn, you should have known that."

"Don't you dare yell at him," Elizabeth Spencer exclaimed as she and her husband walked off the elevator and came upon the fight. "He was doing what he thought was right for his son, Sam. His son. Not yours."

"No, he was doing what _you_ thought was right," Sam corrected her.

"Let's just walk away," Lucky said, looking down at his wife as he realized that maybe Jason and Sam were starting to work through some of their issues.

"No, I'm not going to stand here and let her mouth off about things she doesn't understand," Elizabeth said, glaring at Sam.

"Oh, I understand," Sam laughed at her. "You wanted Jason in your bed but didn't think he was fit to raise his own son so you kept Lucky chained to your side with lies."

"You are nothing but a piece of trash that watched Maureen take my son from his stroller and did nothing to stop her!" Elizabeth screeched.

"Elizabeth, just back off," Jason said as Lucky walked closer and tried to pull his wife away from Sam.

Jason reached out and grabbed Sam's arm but it was of no use. Sam wrenched free from his grasp and walked over to Elizabeth and punched her in the face, and she was knocked to the floor by the force of the blow.

"I am tired of hearing you say that!" Sam said and pulled her arm back, ready to hit Elizabeth again but seemed to think better of it. "There's no question that what I did was wrong. And I have suffered for it; more than you could possibly imagine but I will not be the person you blame for your failures anymore."

"My failure?" Elizabeth sputtered. "I did nothing wrong."

"You are Jake's mother; it's your job to look after him, and you failed that day!"

Elizabeth pointed her finger at her accusingly. "Don't you dare turn this around on me."

"Maureen would have never taken your baby if you had been watching him like you were supposed to!" Sam exploded, finally saying the words she had been holding back for so long because of the guilt she had felt over her own actions. "I was going out of my mind when I watched it happened. What's your excuse?"

"That's enough," Jason stepped in between Elizabeth and Sam, grasping his ex-girlfriend's arm and forced her to follow him away from Lucky and Liz. He found a vacant examination room and entered it.

"Let go of me," Sam tried to pull her arm out of his grasp but was unsuccessful. "For God sakes, I'm nowhere near your precious Elizabeth anymore."

"I wasn't trying to keep you away from her," Jason said, releasing his grasp on her arm.

She stepped away from immediately and began massaging her sore wrist. Then she eyed him incredulously.

He grimaced. "Okay, maybe I was, but it wasn't the only reason I pulled you away."

"What was the other reason?"

"I wanted to talk to you in private," Jason said.

"If you're about to yell at me for hurting Elizabeth, I will punch you too," Sam warned him.

"Elizabeth should have minded her own business," Jason said.

Sam's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Did you just take my side over hers?" She felt like fainting in shock at the idea.

"She shouldn't have brought up Jake's kidnapping like that," Jason explained.

"She has every right to hate me for that, Jason," Sam sat down on the examination table in the room. "Tumor or not, it doesn't change what happened."

"Then why did you tell her it was her fault too?" he wondered.

"Because she acts like I was in on it. Maureen was the kidnapper and she managed to forgive her but continues to throw it in my face. I thought it was time someone threw her failure that day in hers because I'm pretty sure none of you ever have," Sam replied.

Jason nodded in confirmation.

"Elizabeth and I will never be friends; I hate her and she despises me," Sam said.

"I know that." He wasn't holding out hope for something that would never happen and there was far too much history for Elizabeth and Sam to ever resolve their differences.

"And in the past, I might have let her trample all over me but not anymore. I'm sick of it. I refuse to be treated like garbage by a hypocrite like her. She has done a lot of the same things that I have. The only difference is I have faced the consequences while she manages to come out unscathed, her halo shining even brighter."

"I agree that she has made her fair share of mistakes," Jason replied.

"But yet somehow, she never gets treated any differently. Maybe you can help shed some light on that. Why, after everything she's done to you, do you still treat her like a saint?" Sam wondered, completely forgetting about her decision to stay away from him.

"She is my son's mother," Jason replied.

"And if it were left up to her, everyone would still think that Lucky was Jake's father," Sam pointed out.

"Emily convinced me to tell the truth," Jason replied.

"What made you listen to her?" Sam wondered. She had told him countless times that Jake would be just as happy with him as she had been.

"She said that Jake had a right to know his father and his parents' fears shouldn't stand in the way of that," Jason replied.

"I'm glad Emily got through to you."

"So am I but I don't understand how she knew," Jason shook his head in confusion. He loved his sister and while he thought she was brilliant, he had never figured out how she had deduced that he was Jake's father.

"I do," Sam bit her lip as she mulled over what she was about to say.

"How would you know?" Jason looked at her curiously.

His lies had destroyed her. She had told him so many times that he should have told her the truth about Jake from the beginning. If she kept quiet about telling Emily, she would be doing the same thing to him that he did to her.

"Because I told her." 


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Jason stared at Sam in shock. "What did you just say?" He was surprised that he was able to speak.

Sam sighed as she raised her gaze to meet his and the look in her eyes told him that he had not been hearing things. "I'm the one that told Emily," she repeated.

Jason had always thought Elizabeth inadvertently let Emily know that Jake was actually his son. Or that Emily had become suspicious and finally connected the dots after the fire Cameron had started resulting in Jake suffering from smoke inhalation.

He had been a wreck that day and dashed into the hospital, demanding to know where his son and Elizabeth were. Of course, he hadn't said that Jake was his son but he was pretty sure he looked like a terrified parent that day.

After a while, it hadn't mattered to him how Emily had found out about Jake; he had been so grateful that she had pushed him to claim his son that he had completely forgotten that someone had revealed his son's true paternity to his sister.

He never even suspected Sam as the culprit. She had been out of town for months and he hadn't heard anything about her, even from Alexis. Looking at her now, he was surprised to see no remorse in her eyes. Instead, she stared him down unapologetically as she spoke.

"If you're waiting for me to apologize, I'm not going to." Her voice was filled with determination. Her gaze flashed to him but then she looked down at the examining table she was sitting on and started fidgeting with the sheet of thin paper that covered it. "I did the right thing," she added.

"Why did you tell her?" Jason asked her the most obvious question. When she had left, she had hated him. He didn't understand why she would help him so she must have done it to hurt him.

"Because you and Elizabeth were being selfish," Sam replied simply.

Anger rose inside him. "We made a decision as Jake's parents. It was a hard one to make for everyone involved. It was hard for Elizabeth, for me and for Lucky to keep the lie going but we thought it was the best thing for Jake," he said.

"None of you were thinking about what was best for Jake," Sam dismissed the idea with a firm shake of her head. "The only thing on your minds was how complicated the truth would be so you decided to cover it up and lie to everyone, including your son."

"Who are you to criticize?" Jason demanded. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

Hurt passed through her eyes after he cruelly pointed out that she wasn't a parent but she ignored it. "I know what it's like when your parents deceive you. All my adopted parents ever did was lie through their teeth."

"If you had never stepped up and claimed Jake, he would have grown up and eventually found out the truth. And he would feel as though his entire life had been a lie. Just like me."

Jason's eyes softened as he realized that she had not been trying to hurt him, but actually help him. He remembered how lost and confused she had been when she had discovered that she had been adopted.

"Why go behind my back and tell Emily like that?" he asked, still stung that she had manipulated the situation instead of just telling him herself that Jake would be better off with him.

"Would you have listened?" she questioned him and when he didn't answer, she looked at him and nodded. "Besides, I know how you are when you make up your mind about something; you're stubborn as hell and no one—not even Carly—can talk you out of it."

"We have that in common," he noted.

Sam didn't realize he was actually talking about the two of them, not him and Carly, so she shrugged in response. "And you didn't listen when I talked to you about it after Elizabeth testified either," she said.

"I thought you were only encouraging me to do that to hurt Elizabeth," Jason explained.

"That was part of it," Sam admitted sheepishly as she recalled telling him that Elizabeth should have to suffer the consequences of her actions for once. "But it wasn't the first time that I told you Jake deserved to have you in his life."

"I wouldn't listen to you," Jason finished her point for her.

"I thought about telling Carly." She looked up at his eyes and saw the anger flashing in them and smirked. "But I realized she would do more harm than good because she hates Elizabeth."

"Did you choose Emily because she was her best friend?" Jason asked.

"No, I told her because she was your sister." Sam said sincerely. She made an amused face as she continued, "It helped that she was Elizabeth's best friend. If it had been Carly, Elizabeth would have gone on the defensive immediately but I thought she might actually listen to Emily when she chewed her out."

Jason's eyes lit up. "How did you know Emily yelled at us?"

"She called me the day after to let me know that she had told the two of you that she knew about Jake and assured me that she left my name out of it," Sam replied.

"Why did you do it?" he wondered.

Sam sighed as she looked at him meaningfully. "I wanted to make things right," she said. She crossed her right leg over her left one and gestured to the chair close to the table and he sat down. "I don't owe Elizabeth anything after what she's done to me but I do owe Jake. I thought the best way to start was to make you realize that you should be in his life."

"I'm surprised Emily didn't try to convince you to come back and help her," Jason commented.

"Oh, she did try," Sam said.

"Why didn't you come back?"

"I couldn't," Sam replied.

"Why?" Jason asked.

"I was in a bad place when I left, Jason. I had to get over that before I even thought about coming back here."

"How did you do it?" Jason asked curiously. She seemed so much like her old self again, the Sam he had fallen in love with.

There was a time when he thought he would never see her again, that she had been through too much to ever recover but she had proved him wrong and fought. She truly was a survivor.

"I went to a hospital and checked myself into a psychiatric program they had," Sam began to explain that she had been in therapy for a few months. "It was a long, hard road, but I got through it. Eventually, I bought my boat and started LMS."

He looked confused by the name. "It's the name of my salvage company," she explained.

"Why did you go to a shrink?" he asked.

Sam hesitated before she answered, looking up at him with pure honesty in her eyes. "I needed help, Jason; more than my family could give me so I went to a professional."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"I'm sorry that you had to go through that." It was the first thing that he could think of to say to Sam's confession that she had been in a psychiatric hospital.

"You need to stop doing that," Sam told him, shaking her head in frustration. "Not everything that happens—good or bad—is because of you."

"I am the one that did those things to Elizabeth and Jake, not you."

His eyes were full of guilt as he spoke. "If I had been paying more attention to you, I would've realized that something was wrong."

Sam scoffed. "Unless you have x-ray vision, Jason, there's no way you could've known what was really going on," Then she pointed to herself, "I didn't even notice anything was wrong."

"But you told Amelia that you didn't even remember watching Jake being taken until a few days later," Jason pointed out.

"I thought I blocked it out because it was so horrible," Sam remembered the panic attack she'd had when she woken up from the nightmare, only to discover that it hadn't been a dream; she had watched Maureen walk away with Jake.

"But not remembering was a sign of the tumor," he pointed out.

"How was I supposed to know that?" Sam shrugged in response. "And I was not the one who told you about it so you wouldn't have known either."

"You were in that place because of what I did to you," Jason reiterated, still not convinced that he didn't share some of the blame.

"That place helped me," Sam insisted, rolling her eyes in annoyance. Sometimes his hero complex got on her nerves. Whenever he thought he failed someone, he would beat himself up over it, which was fine with her but she was not some damsel in distress.

"I saved myself by entering that program. If I chose to ignore my problems, there's no telling where I'd be now."

Jason looked at her in concern. "Therapy really helped you?" he asked doubtfully.

Sam nodded, and laughed when he still seemed unsure. "I know what you think about therapy but talking about everything that happened with someone who actually wanted to help me and wasn't judging me was exactly what I needed."

"Did they do anything to you?" Jason asked.

"What?"

"When Carly had her breakdown and was checked into Rose Lawn-" he started to explain his concern but Sam's hoots of laughter stopped him mid sentence.

Finally gaining control of her faculties, Sam looked at Jason but was unable to stop the few giggles that escaped her lips. "First of all, it was a hospital, not a mental institution. Second, it was an outpatient program."

"Oh," was all he said in response.

Sam started laughing harder. "What, did you think they had me fitted for a straightjacket and then locked me in a padded cell or something?"

His cheeks reddened in embarrassment as he met her amused gaze. "I wasn't sure what to think about it," he replied.

"All I did was talk. I didn't take any medications or anything," Sam finally explained after she was done laughing.

"I guess it wasn't that hard on you, after all," he said, and the teasing tone in his voice didn't go unnoticed by her.

"If you're about to make a crack about how much I talk, I will have you know that I really didn't start rambling until group therapy started," she replied.

He was about to respond but a knock on the door interrupted him and they both turned to see Patrick Drake in the doorway.

"I've been looking for you everywhere," he said, exasperated as he glared at Sam who apologized for disappearing. "Are you ready for your appointment now?"

"Yes," Sam said and hopped off the examination table. She started to follow him out of the room but suddenly turned back to Jason. "Thanks for the talk." Then she was gone.

"When do you want to schedule the surgery?" Dr. Drake asked Sam McCall once she was settled on the examination table.

She looked around the room pensively as she thought about when would be the best time for him to cut into her brain. "As soon as possible," Sam finally answered, noticing that her voice was filled with certainty.

"I've looked at my schedule and I have a few openings at the beginning of next week," he said, pulling out an appointment book and handed it to her so she could see the times available.

Sam looked at the organizer that Patrick had scheduled various appointments with patients, some for surgeries, others for consultations and a few regular check-ups with patients that had recently had surgery.

She noticed _N. Cassadine (surgery)_ jotted down for next Tuesday and was thankful that Patrick had scheduled time in the OR but there was not yet a patient's name listed for that very same day.

"Next Tuesday at three is fine with me," she replied, handing him back the book.

He wrote her name in the space beside the appointment and smiled in realization. "Your cousin's surgery is scheduled for the very same day," he said, looking at her knowingly.

"How about that?" Sam remarked, feigning innocence.

Patrick rolled his eyes and put his book back down on the counter. "A nurse will call you with your pre-op orders," he said, rising from his chair and preparing to leave but Sam called about that.

"I have a request." He turned to look at her questioningly. "I know that normally patients don't get a say in who's on the surgical team but I would prefer that Elizabeth Spencer be nowhere near me while I'm on the operating table."

Patrick sighed. "Sam, I know that you and Elizabeth have history but she is a surgical nurse. She has a right to be involved in any surgery the administration chooses to assign her to. I doubt Elizabeth would mind not being involved in the surgery, but it's the principal of the matter."

"She'd probably insist just to spite me," Sam shot back.

"That doesn't sound like her," Patrick said dismissively.

Sam leaned forward and glared at him. "It sounds exactly like her behaviour towards me."

"I can't control who's in the surgery," he tried to reason with her once more but she didn't buy his lame excuse.

"Bull!" Sam exclaimed hotly. "You're the surgeon. And if you don't, then I should, since I'm the one being operated on."

"What if I refuse to abide?" Patrick challenged.

"I won't have the surgery," Sam replied simply and his face fell.

"You need the operation, Sam. Your life depends on it," he said.

"I don't care," Sam raised her gaze to meet his, challenging him to tell her that he wouldn't agree to her condition now.

"All right," he relented and then left the room.

"Don't show your hand before the game is over," Sam advised while he was still in earshot and chuckled as she heard the scoff outside the door. She couldn't believe how easy it had been to persuade him to not let Elizabeth be on the surgical team during her operation.

"And here I thought I had lost my touch," she commented on her way out of the room.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"I want you to be Spencer's guardian should anything go wrong," Nikolas finished telling his aunt. It was the morning of his surgery and he was determined to get things in order if something happened to him.

"You'll be fine," Alexis assured him weakly, tears spilling out of her eyes at the thought of her nephew dying.

It was obvious that Alexis was struggling with the fact that both her eldest daughter and favourite nephew were having the same surgery on the very same day.

"I don't plan on dying but I know that things can go wrong in surgeries so I want to make sure that the people I leave behind are taken care of," Nikolas explained again, reaching out and squeezing her hand in an attempt to comfort her.

"You really are something, Mom," Sam commented from her seat on the couch opposite them. His cousin chuckled and she gestured to herself and Nikolas as she continued, "We're having brain surgery but you're the one who's a basket case."

"I'm allowed to be a basket case under these circumstances," Alexis cried defensively as she looked at Sam hardly.

Her daughter's expression softened and she leaned forward. "I'm only teasing. I'm glad you're so worried about me. Evelyn was a cold-hearted monster; she didn't care about Danny or me. It's nice to finally have a mother that does."

Nikolas looked at her curiously. "You don't talk about them very often."

Her eyes hardened at the comment but she shrugged in response. "There's not much to say. Evelyn left when I was three; I only saw her for a few minutes many years later and she was awful to me. When I found Danny in the basement, I realized why she was in such a hurry to get me out of there."

"What about your father?" Alexis inquired. Her daughter didn't open up very often and she was extremely guarded about her childhood.

Nikolas scoffed as he recalled meeting Cody McCall. "That guy was a piece of work." His voice suddenly turned ridiculing.

"He raised me to be a bandit," Sam said simply, not realizing that her voice betrayed her bitterness towards her adopted father and the impact being brought up to steal from people had had on her.

"The only good things Cody ever did for me were teaching me about boats and paying for diving lessons."

"I know he left you alone often," Alexis said, hoping Sam would unleash everything that she had been carrying around for so many years.

"It's in the past." Her eyes begged for them to drop the subject. It was not something she was ready to open up about to anyone.

"You can tell us anything, you know? There's nothing too horrible." Nikolas had more than proved that statement true after she told him about everything she had done to Elizabeth.

"I know that and I will tell you eventually but I'm not ready yet," Sam replied, looking at both of them with tears in her eyes. "I've never told anyone the details."

By "anyone", she was including Jason, who she had trusted and relied on for three years so she hoped they realized that it was not about her not trusting them.

Both Alexis and Nikolas nodded in understanding.

They sat in silence for a few minutes until someone's cell phone rang.

Alexis rummaged through her purse and answered the phone. She held up one finger as she rose from her seat to let them know that she needed to take the call in private and shut the door behind her.

"So, what are you going to do until that time?" Nikolas asked her curiously.

"I have to be at the hospital the same time you do. I guess I'll watch television or read a book to pass the time," she replied.

"Lucky and Lulu are going to visit me until I go under the knife. You're welcome to join us," he offered.

Her nose wrinkled at the idea and she immediately shook her head. "Thanks but I think I'll pass," she said.

"Sam, I don't want you to be alone," Nikolas said worriedly.

Alexis had wanted to be there with both of them but she had to be in court, which Sam had actually been thankful for. She knew her mother loved her and was worried about her chances of surviving the surgery so if she had been there all day, it would be torture. At least at work, she would be distracted.

"Lulu and Lucky both hate me, Nikolas. I might be your cousin but they're your sister and brother so they should be with you. If I was there, everything would be awkward," Sam explained.

"Surely, someone can visit you," he said.

"Maxie said she would drop by and Spinelli said that he would try," Sam told him sadly. It was times like this when she realized she didn't have a lot of friends.

"What about Kristina and Molly?" Nikolas asked.

Sam shook her head insistently. "Are you out of your mind?" she exclaimed.

"What's wrong with your sisters visiting you?" Nikolas asked uncertainly.

"My sisters are terrified as it is. I don't want them to see me laid up in the hospital with numerous tubes sticking out of me," Sam said.

"Sam, you shouldn't be by yourself at a time like this," he said once again.

"It wouldn't be the first time," she muttered.

"Sam," Nikolas said sternly.

She sighed in annoyance. "It's not a big deal. I'll be alone for a few hours and then I'll be unconscious." Her frustration skyrocketed when she saw that she hadn't convinced him.

"I'll be fine," she assured him.

"You're not alone anymore, you know? You have family now and you need to get used to that," Nikolas told her.

A few hours later, Sam was lying in her hospital staring at the ceiling tiles in complete and utter boredom.

Maxie had kept her promise and visited for two hours before her volunteer shift started at the hospital.

Spinelli had popped in to say hello and wish her well but a call on his cell phone from Sonny, beckoning him over to Grey Stone immediately for "a matter of the utmost urgency", had cut his visit short.

Nikolas' surgery had started and Sam prayed that he pulled. She hoped that Patrick would be able to get enough of the tumors for both their sakes.

A knock on the door pulled her out of her thoughts and she glanced in the doorway to see who it was. She thought she was hallucinating as Jason Morgan smiled at her and walked in.

He sat down in a chair beside her. "I'd like to keep you company for a while," he said.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

_"Everything went according to plan last night," Jason announced when he walked into his partner's office at the coffee shop._

Sonny Corinthos looked up from the newspaper he was reading momentarily to glance at his friend. "That's good news. I was weary about the truce with the Zacchara's but so far they've kept their word." His eyebrows knitted a few seconds later and then he looked up at Jason again with interest.

"What?" Jason asked. He sensed there was something Sonny wanted to ask him but he was having difficulty forming the words.

"Nikolas' surgery is this afternoon," he informed him.

"Spinelli told me." He had come downstairs to find Lulu Spencer crying on his couch and the gawky teen was sitting right beside her, consoling her.

"Sam's is tonight," Sonny added a few seconds later and watched as Jason absorbed the information.

Jason was about to respond when the door to the office swung open and his best friend walked in.

"Hi, Sonny, I need to talk to you about Michael," Carly said, and shuddered as her anger once again spiked. "He is out of control." Then she spotted Jason. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I work here," Jason replied. He gestured to his last name on one of the papers that had just finished printing. "What's going on with Michael?"

Carly was tempted to talk to him about the latest stunt her teenage son had pulled but decided against it and shook her head. "Sonny and I can handle Michael. Now why are you here, hanging around with him when Sam needs you now more than ever?"

He looked at both of them and rolled his eyes. Sonny and Carly were staring at him intently, studying him, trying to figure out the meaning behind every move he made. "I talked to Sam before she set up her surgery." He filled them in on what had happened.

"Sam was in therapy," Carly repeated, trying to process the information. She knew she would have enough difficultly admitting she had a problem, let alone actually taking the steps to deal with said problem.

"Yes and she probably doesn't want me hanging around when she's about to have brain surgery. She'll have enough on her plate with Alexis as it is," Jason said. He wasn't sure who he was trying to convince; Sonny and Carly or himself.

"Alexis isn't going to be there. She has court," Sonny informed them.

"Her nephew and her daughter are both having surgery on the same day and she is still going to work?" Carly asked, shaking her head incredulously. "Unbelievable."

"She told me that Nikolas and Sam were relieved. Apparently, Sam said the last thing she needed tonight was to watch her mother worry about her." Sonny looked up at Jason when he was finished speaking. "But I think she said that for her mother's sake."

"Duh," Carly remarked. "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that Sam was only trying to spare her mother's feelings. She wants someone there with her." Then she turned to Jason. "I think that someone should be you."

Jason sighed and rubbed his temple as he felt a headache building up. "Stay out of it for once, Carly." He looked up at her again and noticed a smug smile had spread across her face.

"Do you want Sam to be alone right now?"

"Of course not."

"Then go visit her." She said it so simply like it was the most natural thing for him to do but it wasn't that easy. Sam had already been through so much because of him. He didn't want to cause her any stress, especially on the day she was supposed to have surgery.

As if she could read his thoughts, Carly looked at him sympathetically and said, "You may not think Sam wants you there but I know she does."

"How?" he wondered.

"Because she loves you, Jase." Carly wanted to get off her feet so she sat down in one of the chairs across from Sonny's desk. "She used to say that you made her feel safe. I think that's still true. I bet that if you go visit her and just be there for her, you'll be helping her."

Jason stared at the form lying in the bed from the doorway of the hospital room as he recalled his conversation with Carly and Sonny one afternoon three days before.

He had come to the hospital to support Sam for the time she had to wait before she would go into surgery.

Understandably, she had been climbing the walls, glancing from the ceiling and the doorway pensively every five seconds. A smile had touched his lips when had come upon the scene and lingered for a few moments, content to just watch her.

He had laughed out loud when she had admitted that she had been coming up with numerous ways to escape her hell.

_"I don't think I ever fully appreciated your agony during your brain surgery until now," she said, rolling her eyes in annoyance at the sound of his laughter._

"It wasn't that," he tried to tell her but the incredulous glare she shot him caused him to trail off mid sentence. "It is boring," he admitted reluctantly, "especially if you're all alone."

Sam met his gaze and there was no mistaking the pity lurking behind the concern that filled his eyes. "It's not like it's anything new for me," she said sharply and he caught the usual pang of sadness in her voice.

As he lowered his head in shame, he realized that for once, her pain was not entirely his fault; he had heard that same note of sadness several times while they were together.

In all the time they had been together and all the things that she had shared with him, her childhood was something she had always remained tight lipped about. He recalled hoping that in time, he would have been able to break through her walls and she would share her demons with him.

As if she were able to read his mind, she said, "Don't flatter yourself, Jason. There's nothing you could have done."

He looked at her and started to say something but the words caught in his throat as her eyes flashed again, only this time, they were filled with anger.

"Even if I had told you everything, you wouldn't have been able to make it all go away."

"I would have tried," Jason said feebly.

"And you would have failed." Her voice was so resolute that it pained him to hear it. It was as if she truly believed that she didn't deserve anything but the disappointments and misery life had dealt her.

"I'm sorry, Sam," he managed to choke out as his own sadness overwhelmed him.

She squinted at him in confusion. "For what?" The confusion in her voice was as clear as day.

"For everything," he said, running a hand through his hair. "For pushing you away, for Elizabeth, for lying to you about Jake; for everything I've ever done to hurt you."

"Jason, stop it," Sam snapped, taking his hand in hers and giving it a good squeeze. "You can apologize until you're blue in the face; it won't erase everything."

He pulled his hand out of her grasp, stung by her words. "I'm trying to make amends." He was angry now.

Her brown eyes lit with realization and she shook her head at him. "You don't have to," she told him. "I meant that everything that happened between us is on both of us, not just you. We've both done things to each other that we can't take back. I made my peace with that. You need to too."

"You're not mad?" He was shocked to say the least.

She hesitated. "I was hurt more than anything else. I won't lie and say that I don't carry some resentment but I've decided not to dwell on it anymore. Don't torture yourself with the past, Jason. It will eat you alive if you let it. Trust me."

He nodded at her words and was about to respond when a light rap on the door interrupted his thoughts.

"It's that time," Robin Scorpio informed them as she walked into the room.

Sam looked at Jason meaningfully. "Thank you for staying, Jason."

He winced painfully at the memory and looked back at the form in the bed. They had finally broken some ground and he had hoped they could slowly work their way back to friendship when she got out of surgery but it was as if the fates were working against him.

Once again, he was watching Sam McCall fight for her life.

"So it's true?" A voice asked from behind him.

He glanced in the direction and was surprised to find Lucky Spencer looking over him and at Sam. "What are you doing here?" he asked suspiciously.

He knew that Sam and Lucky had formed some relationship before she had left town but when she had returned, Lucky had been furious with her because of her treatment of Elizabeth and her actions against Jake. He thought Lucky hated her.

Annoyance at having to answer to Jason Morgan crept up his spine. "I'm here for Nikolas."

Jason caught the contempt lingering in the cop's tone and was almost relieved to find that he was there for his brother's concern, not his own. "Yes, it's true." He decided to answer him for once. Nikolas was Sam's cousin, after all, and he was unable to get information on his own.

"Nikolas just woke up and was asking about her," Lucky filled him in on Nikolas' condition. Patrick had been able to remove the entire tumor in Nikolas' brain and he had made it through surgery unscathed.

"Good," Jason grunted. He was glad for Nikolas and his son but any relief he felt over Nikolas' recovery was trumped by his growing terror over Sam's condition.

Lucky once again looked over his shoulder curiously.

"She's in a coma," Jason told him simply, walking into the room and pausing at the foot of her bed. Lucky followed him inside but remained a few feet from the doorway. "They were able to get most of the tumor so it won't be causing her anymore problems."

Lucky scoffed at his choice of words. "As if that makes what she did okay."

Jason glared at him hardly and then turned his attention back to Sam. "But there were complications during surgery. She started arresting. They were able to stabilize her but she's still in critical condition. They don't know when, or if, she'll wake up."

"I'll tell Nik," Lucky said as he glanced at Sam coldly before he turned to walk out the door.

"Sam is the one that convinced Emily to get me to tell the truth about Jake," Jason called to him and heard him stop in his tracks. "It was her latest plan to help me realize that I should be in Jake's life."

Lucky turned around and looked at him uncertainly. "What do you mean her latest plan?"

"Sam was the only person that saw mine and Elizabeth's plan for what it was from the beginning," Jason started to explain and he looked down at her in misery. "She wanted me to stop lying to everyone, including you."

_"So, what?" She shrugged at him angrily. "We're all supposed to sit back while you and Elizabeth hijack Lucky's entire life?"_

He looked at her in confusion, caught off guard by the accusation. "Since when do you care about Lucky so much?"

She leaned forward. "Since we are both sitting on the same side of the fence looking in at the Liars Club, Jason."

He scoffed at her ridiculous charade.

Sam noticed this and her eyes narrowed in anger. "I thought you learned something from Alan's death; I thought that you regret how you treated him and how you kept AJ from Michael." She shook her head in disappointment as she continued berating him. "But you are still playing with another man's dreams of fatherhood all in the name of protecting a child who would be just as happy with you as I was."

"I never thought I would say this but you deserve every bit of pain you've caused for yourself."

And then she was gone.

"She felt guilty," Lucky immediately wrote off her kind act as a way of clearing her conscience.

"You're unbelievable," Jason said accusingly. "Sam stuck up for you when no one else would and this is how you repay her? Your own wife had written you off as a pathetic drug addict who couldn't handle the truth."

"I betrayed Elizabeth with Maxie; she had every reason to lose faith in me."

"And when she lied to you about Jake?" Jason wondered how many excuses Lucky could come up with to explain away all the things Elizabeth had done to him.

"When she lied about Jake, she was protecting me from a relapse and him from you," Lucky roared back.

"How about when she was meeting me at the safe house while she was still married to you?"

Lucky raised his fist to punch him but Jason anticipated the move and grabbed his hand before it could connect to his face and pushed him back with so much force that it sent Lucky staggering backwards.

Lucky was about to go after him again but a small whimper from the bed caused them both to freeze.

"Sam?" Jason called to her, looking over to the bed to find her opening her eyes and squinting at the harsh lights. Joy shot through his veins as he rushed to her side, forgetting about Lucky and his issues. He grabbed her pale hand and kissed it. "Welcome back."

Sam's eyes were wide open as she glanced at him, now fully alert. She stared at him curiously and opened her mouth, her words rocking him to his core.

_"Who the hell are you?"_

**Dialogue from third flashback was written by the writers of General Hospital**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Her eyes opened slowly and then narrowed slightly when she discovered she wasn't alone in her hospital room. Her mother, or to put it more accurately, the woman who claimed to be her biological mother, Alexis Davis was sitting in the chair by her bedside, sound asleep.

It had been almost three weeks since she had woken up in the hospital after having brain surgery to remove a tumor that would have eventually killed her.

Add the fact that seven years had gone by, seven years that she had no memory of, and you might say that Sam McCall was a little frustrated.

The doctors told her that her memory loss was probably another side effect of the tumor and she would regain the missing memories in time since they were able to remove most of it during her surgery.

Only Sam wasn't sure she wanted to remember. From what her mother and cousin had told her, the only thing Sam could look forward to remembering was the pain that she had endured during those seven years.

It had been surprising to learn that she had been pregnant by the local mob boss, Sonny Corinthos because when he had visited her, she couldn't find one thing about him that she liked. She couldn't imagine climbing into bed with him now, let alone staying there long enough to make a baby with him.

Then when she asked where her daughter was, her mother's eyes had filled with tears as she glanced at her cousin, Nikolas Cassadine, who then shook his head at her in sadness.

Her daughter had been still-borne. The wave of grief that hit her had been surprising. She didn't understand why she felt the loss of a daughter she didn't remember being pregnant with so heavily.

She had asked to see Sonny so he could tell her about their time together and how she had gotten through the loss of her daughter.

He had told her that it had been hard for both of them, but especially for her, since she had carried the baby for nine months only to wake up and find out that she had died.

Then he had said something that confused her.

_"If it weren't for Jason, I don't think you would've been able to go on."_

Jason Morgan.

Oh, she knew him by reputation. She remembered that bartender at Jake's warning her that he was dangerous and that he was "connected" after she had stumbled into the bar one night looking for some suckers to play pool with.

And apparently, she hadn't heeded the bartender's advice.

Her cousin had reluctantly told her that Jason was her roommate in the beginning. He had taken her in while she was pregnant and they decided they were going to raise the baby together. When the baby died, they had found comfort in each other and that relationship had lasted three years.

_"You were completely devoted to him," Alexis told her._

They were the world to each other for so long.

_"But relationships don't always last," Nikolas said finally. _

Despite having no memory of him, Alexis or Jason at all, she knew there was more to the story. After tiptoeing around the issue for days, they had finally told her what had happened and she found herself wishing that she had never heard his name, disgusted at her behaviour.

But was Jason the only one to blame for the way things turned out? No. Sam was smarter than that. She knew that when things went awry in a relationship, the blame rarely fell to only one person. After all, there were _two_ people involved, not one.

Her biggest mistake had been relying on Jason so much. It wasn't like her to become so dependent on someone that she abandoned all reason. The fact that she had never even confronted Jason about his lies regarding his son when she had first found out told her that she had been too invested in the relationship.

"Sam?" A voice pulled her from her thoughts.

Sam shook her head as if to snap herself back to reality and when she raised her gaze, she saw a tall, blonde woman standing in her doorway. "Carly." It was without a doubt Jason Morgan's loudmouth best friend, whom Alexis and Sonny had told her about.

Carly faltered for a minute and curiosity lit her eyes. "You recognize me?" she asked hopefully.

Sam shook her head. "Only from what I've been told about you," she replied.

Carly's eyes narrowed slightly at the information but she waved it off with a shrug of her shoulders. "Whatever people have been telling you about me, it's all lies," she assured her.

"From what I see, it's all true."

Carly grimaced. "Okay, it probably is," she admitted.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asked though she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer.

From what she'd heard about this woman, Carly had an annoying habit of sticking her nose where it didn't belong and hatching crazy plans that often blew up in her face to get what she wanted.

"Jason." Carly came into the room and sat down. "He wanted to know how you were but thought it was best to keep his distance."

"Why?"

Carly fixed her with a glare. "I'm sure you've heard the whole story by now." When Sam didn't answer, she figured Sam knew everything. "He wasn't sure how you'd react to seeing him and he didn't want to upset you so he asked me if I would stop by."

"I'm sorry, don't we hate each other?" Sam looked around the room as she pondered why Jason would send someone she hated to visit her.

Carly frowned. "I don't hate you." She looked a little disappointed. "I may not have been your biggest fan in the past but that's all behind us now."

"What changed your mind?" Sam really wanted to know why she decided that she suddenly liked a woman she had despised for years. And wondered if she could come to like Carly too.

"I realized that you broke up with Jason because he lied to you about Jake, not because you thought you didn't need him anymore."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry."

Sam looked at her in confusion. "For what?"

The woman looked really uncomfortable now. Sam got the feeling she didn't spend a lot of her time apologizing. "After you broke up with Jason, I went to the penthouse and said some really awful things to you. I'm sorry and I wish I could take it back because if I'd known what was really going on, I never would've said them."

"Apology accepted," Sam said, surprising them both.

Carly's eyebrows shot up and her mouth dropped open. "Just like that?"

"Why not?" Sam asked.

"It just seems kind of fast," Carly replied, shrugging in response.

"I don't remember anything that happened and I'm sure I more than reciprocated your words," Sam replied.

Carly nodded in confirmation. "You backhanded me."

"I did?"

"Yeah, but it's okay."

"You deserved it, didn't you?" Sam asked.

Carly rolled her eyes. "Yes."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

"You're recovering quite nicely," Patrick Drake commented once he was finished with his examination. Doubt flickered in Nikolas Cassadine's eyes and this made him pause. "Is something wrong?"

Nikolas was sitting in one of the chairs by Sam's bedside, with his IV pole standing right beside Sam's as he fiddled with the tube that was currently hanging near his knee. "If her recovery is going so well, why hasn't her memory come back?" he asked impatiently.

"You did say that it would return when she started showing signs of improvement after the surgery," Alexis Davis added, her tone noting her exasperation with the situation but she still managed to be polite unlike her nephew.

"I never said that she would regain her memory at the exact moment she started improving," Patrick corrected them and when both Alexis and Nikolas looked away in disappointment, he noticed Sam rolling her eyes.

"Have you had any flashes of memory?" Patrick asked curiously.

Sam bit her lip. "Maybe a few," she replied.

Her relatives snapped their heads and stared at her in disbelief. "Why haven't you said anything?" Nikolas demanded.

"What were they?" Alexis asked at the same time.

Patrick chuckled in amusement. "I think you've just demonstrated her reasons for keeping silent."

"Because I'm not sure if they _are_ memories or if it's just my mind trying to fill in the blanks on its own," Sam replied.

"Well, why don't you tell us about one of them, and if we were present or remember it ourselves, we can help you tell the difference?" Patrick suggested.

She looked around the room while she considered his request and then nodded in agreement. She suddenly rested her gaze on Alexis. "You were there," she said.

"I was?" Alexis asked in surprise.

"So was Jason Morgan and some guy he called Ric."

Alexis shrivelled her nose in disgust at the mention of her ex-husband. "Ric is Molly's father, and we were married for a while."

"While Jason and I were together?" Sam asked curiously.

"Yes," Alexis replied.

"So he's the husband that I slept with?"

Alexis nodded reluctantly. "That was a huge mistake and you are not the only one to blame for that, Sam. It's in the past. I say we leave it there."

"Where were the two of you in the memory?" Nikolas asked, changing the subject for the sake of both women.

_"You are my grief! I am standing next to my brother's freshly dug grave because you are the most selfish bitch that I have ever met."_

"In the cemetery," Sam replied, thinking back at the flash of memory she had as she recalled screaming at Alexis. "I was yelling at you and then Ric and Jason came out of nowhere and the fight escalated."

Tears sprung to Alexis eyes as she nodded in remembrance and shame. "That is a memory," she said.

"Why was I so mad at you?" Sam asked.

"You blamed me for your brother's death because I chose to take an antidote instead of refusing so that the doctors could give it to Danny to save his life," Alexis replied.

"But you realized that you were wrong to blame Alexis eventually, Sam. It wasn't her fault; the doctors made the decision, not Alexis," Nikolas explained.

"I know that," Sam nodded in acceptance. They had told her all about the virus epidemic during which she had lost her adopted older brother, Danny McCall.

"What else do you remember?" Patrick asked. He thought it was best to ease away from the subject of Danny's death and to something else.

"You won't be able to help me," Sam replied.

"Why not?" Alexis asked.

"Because Jason and I were the only ones there in the other two flashes I've had," Sam replied.

"Interesting," Nikolas commented.

Sam looked at him in confusion. Why did he sound so annoyed because she had remembered something about Jason? "I guess I'll have to wait for him to show his face before I get answers," she said.

Jason Morgan raised his hand to knock on the door to Sam's hospital room to see if she was up to having any visitors. He had been going crazy with worry about her but he knew it was best to let her have some time to herself and with her family before he showed up.

The last thing he wanted to do was stress her out or pressure her about them being friends, especially when she didn't remember anything about him or their relationship. He hoped enough time had past and she would be willing to see him now; she had to know how worried he'd been about her after she woke up and asked him who he was.

"Hey!" A voice exclaimed, causing Jason to flinch momentarily and look around for the owner. Maxie Jones, dressed in her volunteer scrubs, came around the corner and glared at him with her arms folded across her chest. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I was about to knock," he replied, wondering why he had to explain himself to her when it was obvious what he was doing.

Maxie glanced at the door and then looked at him in confusion. "That's Sam's room," she said.

"I know that." He smiled at the thought of finally seeing Sam again after so many weeks.

Maxie's eyes narrowed upon seeing this and she started shaking her head. She lunged for him and since she had caught him off guard, she had managed to get a hold of his arm and dragged him around the corner and practically shoved him into an empty hospital room.

She shut the door behind them and leaned against the door, still shaking her head. "No," she commanded sternly.

"What the hell is your problem, Maxie?" Jason demanded. He slowly recovered from being shoved into the room and slipping after losing his balance. Once he was back on his feet, he headed towards the door but Maxie acted as a barricade, refusing to allow him to get within two feet of the doorknob.

"Maxie, move out of the way," he ordered.

"No, you and I need to get a few things straight," Maxie said, locking the door so no one could interrupt them.

"What?" Jason asked.

"You were planning to visit Sam, weren't you?" she asked.

"Yes."

"No." Maxie shook her head for emphasis. "Visiting Sam in the hospital is a recipe for disaster."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." Maxie finally walked away from the door and as Jason was about to open the door and get to Sam, she asked, "Haven't you done enough already?"

Jason turned and looked at her. "What?"

"I know you've known Sam longer than I have but she is still my friend and I feel that as her friend, I should look out for her."

"Yes, you should but how is stopping me from visiting her doing that?" Jason wondered.

Maxie stared at him, her eyes wide with disbelief. "You're kidding, right?" When she realized he was serious, she started laughing. "Do you even remember what happened to your relationship with Sam?"

"Yes," Jason said.

"Well, so do I," Maxie replied, remembering how hurt Sam had been. "I saw how happy Sam was while you two were together but I also saw how much you hurt her. She was self-destructing right before your eyes for months and you didn't even see it. And that was long before you broke up!"

"I don't need you to tell me how much I hurt Sam; I already know," Jason said.

"Do you?" Maxie challenged and she sat down in one of the chairs. "Sam lost it after you two broke up. She hired those guys to threaten Elizabeth in the park to warn her that if she stayed with you, she would end up hurt and that was the best-case scenario."

"I know why Sam did what she did. She had a tumor and she wasn't trying to hurt anyone," Jason replied.

"And if she didn't have the tumor, would you still believe that?" Maxie asked.

Jason was silent.

"Well, I would because Sam was trying to warn Elizabeth, not hurt her. The guns weren't even loaded, Jason."

Jason looked up at her in shock. "How long have you known about this?"

"Way before you ever found out," Maxie said smugly.

"Sam told you?" Jason asked, horrified.

"No, of course not," Maxie shook her head. "I figured it out myself. I didn't tell you because I didn't want Sam to get hurt."

Jason's eyes flared with anger. "I would never hurt her."

Maxie narrowed her eyes. "You threatened to kill her."

He was stunned into silence.

Maxie smirked. "Yeah, see, that one she told me about. I went to visit her after you left and found her sitting on the floor in tears, trying to clean up all the broken glass from the glass that you shattered."

"Nice move, by the way."

"I would've helped her if I had known what was really going on," Jason said.

"I don't believe you. Even if she didn't have the tumor, it was obvious that she was losing it over losing you but you were too wrapped up in your precious Elizabeth and your new bouncing bundle of joy to see past anything else."

"But you could tell that she was having trouble," Jason said.

"I didn't know about the tumor obviously but I knew she was in a lot of pain." Maxie took on a wistful look. "I mean she tried to seduce Lucky for God's sakes. If that isn't a cry for help, then what is?"

"So did you." Jason pointed out.

Maxie scowled at the jab. "I am speaking from experience because when I wanted Lucky, I was clinging to the idea of being with him instead of grieving for Jessie."

"Besides, we're not talking about me. This is about Sam and what's best for her."

"Maxie, I know you're only doing what you think is best for Sam but she is that one that should make that decision, not you," Jason replied.

"Interesting that you're on board with her making her own decisions when it suits your needs but when she was shot and you decided that your relationship should end to protect her or whatever it is that you thought you were doing, it was okay to play the arbitrator but it's not okay for me to look out for one of my best friends," Maxie snapped.

"I learned from my mistake."

"And which mistake would that be?" Maxie asked curiously.

"I was wrong to make the choice for Sam and I paid for that mistake the hard way," Jason replied.

"Oh, you mean when you saw her in bed with that slime ball Ric and decided to get even by jumping in the sac with Elizabeth?"

"This is all ancient history. Why are you bringing it up now?" Jason asked.

"Because some people-namely me- aren't okay with the fact that every mistake you've ever made gets swept under the rug and forgotten but every horrible thing Sam's ever done is still thrown in her face."

"I will not sit back and watch you hurt Sam again," Maxie added and then headed towards the door. "So think real hard about the reason why you want to see Sam. Is it to see her and be her friend or are you hoping that she'll somehow absolve you of everything you've done to her?" And then Maxie walked away.

Jason left the room a few minutes later and stopped outside Sam's door as he thought about everything Maxie had told him. He knew that he did want to see Sam in part for himself because he missed her and was really worried about her while she was in a coma.

"Are you planning to fall into the floor or are you going to come in any time soon?" Sam's voice interrupted his thoughts.

When he appeared in the doorway, Sam couldn't help but smile at the embarrassed look on his face. "Why were you standing out there for so long?" she asked.

"I was deciding whether or not I should come in," Jason replied.

Sam looked at him in confusion. How hard was it to walk through a door and visit someone? Why did he need to think about it rather than just do it? "Okay," she commented.

"How are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm doing much better," Sam replied and explained that Patrick had told her she was progressing very well and would be out of the hospital soon.

"That's good. I know you want to get out of here as soon as you can," Jason said.

"Yeah, like yesterday," Sam agreed. They both laughed at the frustration in her voice.

"There is something that you could help me with," she said.

"Anything," he promised and sat down by her bedside and looked at her expectantly.

She explained that she had been having flashes of what she thinks are memories and filled him in on her conversation with Patrick, her mother and Nikolas earlier that day.

"You remembered Danny," Jason said and smiled sadly at the thought of her brother.

"I never forgot him, Jason. It's the last seven years I don't remember, not my whole life," Sam reminded him.

"I meant that you remembered losing him," Jason said.

"Oh," Sam said and smiled sheepishly at her mistake. "I remembered something else."

"What?"

"I think I remember when you told me Lila was dead."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

_"What happened?"_

"Uh, there was a-"

But Sam cut him off. "Jason, where is she? Is she in the nursery?"

Jason paused as he tried to think of the right words to use to tell her the truth.

"I want to see her. Please." Her tearful gaze searched his face for some shred of hope. When she found dread instead, her eyes grew wide with terror and despair. "Jason, where is she?"

"Sam, your baby died." He couldn't even bring himself to look her in the eyes as he told her the devastating truth.

"No," she wailed and shook her head in denial. "No, no!" She was sitting up now, tears coursing down her face with no end in sight as she fought with all the strength she had to try to get out of bed.

"Sam." Jason caught her by the wrists and pulled her into a tight embrace meant to keep her in bed and comfort her at the same time.

"NO!" She succumbed to his embrace and lost herself in despair.

Jason shook himself out of the memory of that day. He looked into Sam's intense gaze and saw the same grief from that day reflected in her eyes now five years later.

"I accused you of lying so Sonny could steal my baby," she told him as she tried to recall the brief flashes of memory she had had of that day.

"You didn't want to believe that she was gone."

_"Everything happened so fast. They rushed you to the OR but they couldn't get her out in time," he began to tell her._

"Were you with me?" she asked.

He nodded sadly. "I was waiting right outside for you."

"And then they pulled the curtain and that's when I knew." He paused and looked at her to see if she was sure that she could handle the rest.

She gave him a reassuring nod. "I have to hear everything."

"I went inside the room to see you but you were still under anaesthesia. The doctors said that I could see the baby so I, uh, I picked her up and I held her in my arms." Fresh tears spilled out of his eyes as he recalled the memory of Sam's beautiful daughter. "She was so still but she looked so peaceful like she was sleeping."

"Maybe she knew you were holding her. Maybe her spirit was still in the room," Sam told him and raised her gaze to his, thanking him.

He held back a sob. He reached out and took her hand in his, squeezing it gently as a single tear fell from his eyes.

"I went to check on things at the funeral because you asked me to make sure they were taking good care of Lila," he told her the ending.

"And then Alexis came." He was surprised that she was able to talk about that without sounding angry.

"Yeah," he nodded, unsure of whether or not he should go on. He didn't want to create problems between Sam and Alexis by digging up the past when it had been forgiven long ago.

"She told me about the operation that saved my sister's life," Sam finished for him.

"And you're not angry about that?" Jason asked the question carefully.

Sam shrugged. "I know that I was angry. I know that I hated Alexis for what she did to me and I blamed her for a lot of things that weren't really her fault. I had to have gotten over it for us to have a relationship now." She looked at him and he knew she was asking him whether they were telling her the truth.

"I know that you were trying to build a relationship with her again but I can't tell you whether or not it was close, Sam. You and I weren't close anymore."

"Because of the things I did." Her voice expressed remorse and horror.

He shook his head. "Our relationship fell apart because of things we both did." He was willing to tell her everything that had happened between them, everything that he had done in retaliation to her actions, including the night he threatened her because he couldn't bear to keep things from her anymore.

He had been in her shoes twice before and he didn't want to be the one to tell her half truths or manipulate circumstances.

When he finally raised his head to meet her gaze, he was surprised to see her smiling at him.

"Thank you for telling me the truth." Her mother and cousin were reluctant to tell her the whole truth about everything that she'd done but after she explained to them that in order for her to trust them, they needed to tell her everything, even the things she was probably better off not knowing.

"Do you remember anything about us?" He finally asked the question he had been dying to have an answer to.

She nodded and told him that she did have a memory of the two of them. She guessed it was from a few years ago because they both looked younger. "We were both in handcuffs."

He chuckled at this news. "You're going to have to be more specific. We were arrested a lot."

"I think it was the first time we met because I was talking about how it must have been crowded since the cops were putting two strangers together," she said, and tried to remember what he had said in response. "You told me that it wasn't an accident; the police were looking for my testimony against you."

"And you said you might be willing if you had any idea who I was," he finished for her and his smile widened into a grin.

"Yeah, that sounds like something I would say," Sam admitted sheepishly. Sometimes her mouth got her into a lot of trouble and she hoped she hadn't said something to offend him but looking at his now wistful expression, he seemed to have been proud of her.

"You were such a smartass when we first met." He laughed heartily. "We didn't get along at first. When I was basically babysitting you for Sonny, we would fight all the time. I resented having to look after you and you resented having to be watched. I used to think you started those arguments on purpose just to see how far you could push me."

Sam chuckled. "I probably did."

"Then we were roommates while you were pregnant and that hate quickly turned into respect which grew to friendship."

"And then we became lovers." It was a statement, not a question. She already knew that they were in a relationship but her expression turned thoughtful as she wondered how they had progressed to that stage.

"That happened after we lost Lila," Jason said.

Sam's eyes filled with tears. "I miss her but I don't remember her or even being pregnant. How is that possible?"

"You're her mother."

"I miss her too, Sam," Jason said, reaching out and taking her hand in his. "I miss her every day."

"Don't you have a son of your own now?"

He tightened his grip around her hand as tears slid down his face. "Yes, and I love my son but I loved our daughter too."

"Lila brought us together; she can never be replaced. I will always love her."

Maxie Jones stood just outside the doorway and watched Jason reach over and wipe a tear from Sam's face.

Her friend then reached for his hand and kissed it lightly. "Thank you for coming to see me," she told him softly. "I was afraid you were going to stay away."

"My head kept telling me that I should," he admitted.

"What changed your mind?"

"I remembered how lost and confused I felt when I couldn't remember anything a few years ago," Jason began to tell her. "But I had someone to help me through it the last time."

"Who?"

"You, Sam." His tone expressed gratitude but Maxie could hear the love that he tried to keep out of his tone. "You were the one person that I could trust to tell me the truth. You wouldn't keep me in the dark, even about things you didn't think I was ready to hear."

"And I can trust you to do the same?" She was uncertain and he didn't blame her. She was probably aware of the fact that he lied to her about his son for so long.

"I will tell you anything you want to know," he promised.

She watched him for several seconds, deciding if now was the right time to approach this subject, and wondered if he would actually admit the truth or not.

"The truth, Sam, no matter how horrible it is." He added as an afterthought.

Her face grew serious and he saw a fire light in her eyes. "Did you actually threaten to kill me?"

He closed his eyes in regret and felt tears sting his eyes as he remembered how hurt she had been after he had said those words. He realized that this was a test and if he didn't answer truthfully, she wouldn't trust him ever again.

It killed him to say the words but he wouldn't lie to her. "Yes, I did."

_**Dialogue from flashbacks was written by the writers of General Hospital**_


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Jason watched Sam absorb the information and her eyes were mirroring everything that she was feeling. He could see the surprise she felt that he had admitted to it so easily, the anger she was probably feeling over the fact that he had actually threatened her and then something else passed through her eyes that he couldn't identify but when he tried to look into them again, they were closed off to him. It was as if a curtain had been drawn and he could tell that there was a wall between them now.

She took a deep breath and opened her mouth to say something in response but no words came. Instead she narrowed her eyes, made a fist and punched him square in the jaw so fast that he never saw it coming.

He held his face in pain and nodded in understanding at her. "I deserved that," he agreed with her.

She nodded at him emphatically. "In my opinion, you deserve a helluva lot more than that," she said, still not lowering her hand. She seemed to be deciding if she should punch him again.

"I do, and if you want to, you can hit me again," he replied.

"I don't need your permission for that," she snapped back at him and immediately lowered her fist. This time, she swung her hands out and shoved him a little.

"How dare you!" She exclaimed angrily. "I don't know how you can say you love me and then turn around and threaten to kill me!"

"It happened after I found out about the men in the park, Sam," he tried to explain the way he was feeling but he could tell from the cold look in her eyes that she didn't care.

"I don't care," she confirmed and shook her head at him. "I don't care about what I did to make you so angry. I don't care if I threatened that woman Elizabeth and her kids. I don't care if I watched your son get kidnapped because no matter what I did, it doesn't give you the right to break into my home and threaten me, especially since I had a tumor when I did those things."

"I was trying to explain how angry I was. I wasn't thinking when I did that," he tried to explain again but she cut him off.

"Spare me, okay?" Sam put a hand up to him and shook her head, telling him she didn't want to hear his lame excuse. "You're the one that lied to me about that kid, right?"

"Yes, I did lie to you about Jake," he said.

"And I left you over it, didn't I?"

"I think so," he answered.

"What do you mean?" She looked at him quizzically.

"You left me for a lot of reasons. You said that I didn't trust you; that I couldn't put you first, and you were tired of fighting to save something that I obviously didn't consider a priority."

"When Nikolas told me that I stuck around after I found out about Jake and you never told me the truth; that I actually had to force it out of you, I couldn't believe it." Her eyes looked so disappointed in herself that Jason felt tears sting his eyes.

"Why?" Jason asked.

"Because that woman isn't me," Sam told him seriously. "I know that I changed when I was with you but I refuse to believe that I changed that much. I would never allow someone to get away with lying to me, or run away after they threatened me."

"You were really hurt that I betrayed you, Sam. I think you were waiting for me to tell you the truth."

"That is pathetic," Sam instantly said, not believing that to be true at all. "I know better than that. I know the only person that I can trust absolutely is myself. If my father taught me anything, it was that."

"You were like that when we first met. I had to fight you every inch to get you to tell me anything because of what he did to you," Jason said, his anger flaring at the mention of her no-good father.

"And then you ended up doing the same thing," Sam pointed out. She was in no way defending anything that her father ever did but Jason had no right to be angry at her father when he had hurt her worse.

He shook his head, denying her accusations.

"You did," she nodded, not giving him an ounce of sympathy. "You lied to me. You shared a secret with another woman and met with her behind my back countless times. Then, you pretty much abandoned me."

"You walked out on me, Sam. You left me," Jason reminded her.

"I might've officially ended things between us, but it was over the second you lied to me," Sam declared. "I walked out the door, but you were already gone." She knew she didn't remember anything but something inside told her that she was absolutely right and not just because she had been told about what had happened by Maxie, Nikolas and Alexis.

"That's not true," Jason said again.

"If it's not true, then why didn't you notice that something was wrong?" Sam demanded to know.

"What do you mean?"

"My tumor, Jason!" She pointed to the bandage around her head. "If you were still fully invested in our relationship, one would think you would have noticed that I wasn't acting like myself when I watched your son get kidnapped but you didn't."

"Now, either you weren't paying attention or you had other things on your mind that were more important."

"My son had just been kidnapped, Sam!" He exclaimed angrily. "I was in prison and when I got out, I was focused on finding him. I'm sorry if I didn't give you the attention that you deserved, but I was terrified that something had happened to him."

"Well, something was already happening to me!" She fired back. "It started before your son got kidnapped, Jason. People have told me that I was a mess before we broke up and that you never noticed."

"Maybe you had other things to think about like your son and Elizabeth or maybe you just didn't care."

"Don't you dare tell me I didn't care!" Jason roared, standing up now. "I was wrong to lie to you about Jake, and yes, I didn't give you the attention you deserved after I found out about him but I always cared about you. I loved you, Sam. That's why I lied to you because I didn't think you would be able to handle it."

Sam scoffed, and shook her head at him in amazement. "I wonder how many times I've heard that excuse."

He looked at her, shocked at the disgust in her tone.

"You know, it even sounds familiar." Sam looked him in the eye and he could tell that she was furious with him. "Who the hell do you think you are? You don't get to decide what I can handle."

"At the time, you had just found out that you couldn't have children, Sam," he told her, hoping she would understand how conflicted he had been.

"So you decided to be kind to me and lie about your son with Elizabeth, is that it?"

"Elizabeth thought that you would try to get joint custody and she didn't want my son raised by myself or another woman," Jason said.

He expected her to tell him that Elizabeth had no right to tell him what he could do when raising his own son or that she had no right to poison his mind against her but instead she seemed confused about the comment.

"We're not talking about Elizabeth, Jason," she waived the woman off with a flick of her hand and returned her attention back to him. "She might have put the idea in your head but you are the one that lied to me and used my own tragedy against me."

He never even thought about it like that. "I'm sorry." He surrendered himself to the realization that she was right about everything and felt even more disgusted with his own actions than before.

Sam wanted to be immune to his desperate and pleading apology, she wanted to yell at him for all the things that she had learned about, but the way he sounded struck a chord with her. It hit her like a punch in the gut; he was hurting and she felt a strange need to comfort him.

He grabbed her hand between his own and muttered his apology over and over again until he finally lowered his head in her lap and began sobbing.

Sam couldn't fight the need to soothe the broken man before her so she reached out a hand and ran her fingers through his hair and tightened her hand that he held so tightly between his own.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Jason raised his head and started to wipe his tears away with the back of his hand but Sam held out a wad of tissues that she had been using while he told her about the loss of her daughter.

He took the tissue and dabbed at his face a few times but it seemed for every tear he wiped away, two more took its place.

Sam saw how he was struggling so hard to not start crying again so she reached out and started to wipe a few tears away. As soon as she made contact with his face, Jason's hand snaked out and covered hers.

He looked at her sorrowfully. "I am so sorry for what I did to you," he told her and buried his face in the palm of her hand, placing a few soft kisses on her skin. "You're right about using the fact that you couldn't conceive against you; I just never saw it that way until now, and I am so ashamed for doing that to you."

"Jason," Sam shook her head as she leaned forward and hugged him. Seeing him looking so destroyed was starting to really upset her and she wanted nothing more than to make it stop, make him better. "I know you're sorry and I'm sorry for lashing out at you that way."

"Don't be sorry," Jason begged, wrapping an arm around her back. "I deserved it and I sense that you've been holding that in for a long time."

"What do you mean?" She pulled away and looked at him in confusion.

"What you said about not recognizing the woman that never confronted me about Jake was right; you would've tracked me down and probably kicked my ass," Jason said, thinking back to how strong she had been when they first met and how she never took any crap from anyone.

"But you didn't and I think part of it was because you were still feeling guilty about sleeping with Ric. Even when you actually had to force it out of me, you were mad but I could tell that you were holding back and I think it was because you had just watched Jake get kidnapped; you were having trouble understanding why you did that."

"Was that the same day I broke up with you?" Sam asked curiously.

Jason nodded. "I tried to tell you that I didn't tell you because you couldn't have kids."

"How did I react?"

Jason looked at her. "You were furious."

_"Right or wrong, I thought if I told you that I was going to be a father, it would just make things worse," he told her._

Sam glared at him. "Worse for who?" she shrugged. "Honestly—do you honestly think it was kinder to keep it from me, to lie and pretend for months, while you shared a secret child with another woman?"

She wiped tears from her eyes and sighed heavily. "Jason, you made me think that you were grieving over your father."

"I was grieving," he insisted. "That hit me harder than I ever thought it would. Losing Alan made this decision to give up my son that much harder, Sam."

"WHY DID YOU DO IT, JASON?"

"Everything happened at once!" He shouted, exasperated. "You told me you couldn't have a baby. Alan died the same day I found out I was going to be a father! Monica asked me to sit with her that first night and I said yes. The next morning Elizabeth said she was going to remarry Lucky and asked me to let her raise our son with him as a family."

"Really?" Sam yelled back furiously. "And what was her excuse, huh?"

"What, was she afraid that Lucky was going to get hooked back on pills if he found out about you two?" She couldn't believe how gullible Jason was.

"That," he nodded once, "that was part of it."

Sam's eyes widened with realization. "Yeah, well, what was the other part, Jason?"

He looked at her in confusion.

"I suppose Elizabeth's perfect little world doesn't have room for a father whose life is filled with danger." Sam could almost see the little bitch whining that her family would be in danger. "Or was she waiting for you to dump me—so you could go to her and be with her and her kids?"

Jason came up behind her. "I'm sorry for hurting you."

She threw his arms off her. "I don't want an apology. I want a reason. I waited months for you to tell me the truth but you didn't."

"I'm not going to make excuses. I had already given him up."

Sam pounded the table. "WHY?"

"I am in jail, Sam," Jason gestured to the interrogation room they were arguing in. "This is part of my life. Elizabeth was convinced that the baby would have a safer and better life with her and Lucky."

"Why?" Sam shrugged, completely baffled by that piece of crap line Elizabeth had fed to him. "Because they're married?" She shook her head. "No, Elizabeth doesn't have a marriage, she has a pack of lies, and every single second she spends with Lucky is a deception."

"Elizabeth wants what's best for the baby and so do I and I know the dangers of my life."

"She used your own excuse against you, Jason, do you even realize that?" She cocked her head at him. "We couldn't have kids because of the danger and now that's the reason you don't have your son."

"And after all that," Sam gestured to the room but really to the whole situation. "Elizabeth's lies and your big sacrifice—there is no baby. Jake is gone."

"And what do you know about that?"

Sam stiffened and after realizing she had indeed heard him right, she slapped him square across the face. "You son of a bitch!"

Jason looked at her in concern and wondered if he had just done something incredibly stupid.

"You're accusing me of taking your son?" She bellowed, gesturing wildly. "Acting like I'm the one that was lying for months when it was you!" She thumped his chest for emphasis.

"Sam, I'm sorry!" He apologized. "What am I supposed to do? I need to look at every option at this point."

"Then look at them!" Came her shouted reply that was so full of rage, he was starting to wish he could take this whole encounter back but realized she was just getting started as she came towards him. "Elizabeth was only a few feet away when Jake was abducted. And she didn't see or hear a thing!"

"Shouldn't you be talking to her instead of me?" Sam demanded. "Don't you have at least one question for her, like, oh, maybe find out why she turned her back on her baby?"

"Elizabeth would never do anything to hurt Jake." He was sure that Elizabeth would die for her children.

"Oh, but I would?" Sam shot back, clearly hurt by the implication. "Listen to yourself. Elizabeth can do no wrong? But me, the woman you say you love and trust, is labelled the potential kidnapper? My God, Jason!"

"Sam," he came over to her and tried to get her to look at him. "I know you're angry."

She nodded her head emphatically in agreement, signifying that she was indeed very angry. "Yeah, but I'm done." She looked up at him and her eyes were dark with rage and determination.

"What?"

"I've finally had enough."

"Are you breaking up with me?" He felt the world shift as she narrowed her eyes.

"You're damn right I am." She made a fist. "I have put up with so much from you. All the interruptions, never coming first, Elizabeth and your lies—all that I was willing to forgive but this?"

She looked at him sideways. "You have such a low opinion of me that you think I could actually take your son while you sit here in agony over losing him and still claim to love me?"

"But-"

"No," Sam shook her head. "You can't love me if you don't believe in me enough to trust me and I can't accept that. I shouldn't have to so it's over."

She got up from where she was sitting. "I really hope you find Jake." Then she turned around to face him one more time. "But I can't be here for you. I have to walk away because if I don't do it now, I'm afraid of who I might turn into. I'm already different because of all the lies that I've swallowed to stay with you."

"I understand, Sam," he said lowly. What else could he say, really? His heart was walking away from him to protect herself and he wasn't free to love her the way she deserved.

"Somehow I knew you were going to say that."

"I don't want to argue with you," he tried to tell her.

"You haven't even tried to change my mind," Sam shook her head, so disappointed in what they had become. "Why could you never fight for me, for us?"

"Because you're right, Sam; you deserve more than I can give you."

"You mean more than you're willing to." She corrected him bitterly. "If you really loved me, you would try your best to give me what I need just like I've done for you but you couldn't even try."

"You've always known what my life is like," he reminded her.

"That's right," she chuckled at her own foolishness. "I knew when I came into this thing."

"What?" Jason asked.

"Jason Morgan doesn't change for anyone."

He sighed painfully. "Sam," he begged her to stop twisting the knife.

"Not even for his son." And then she walked away from him.

"And that whole time, I knew that I had watched Jake get kidnapped?" Sam found it hard to believe that she would come down so hard on him after doing something like that.

"I think that was what made you break up with me," Jason replied.

"I thought it was because of all the lies," Sam said.

"Yes, but witnessing Jake's kidnapping and then having me, the man you loved, accuse you of kidnapping him was probably the final nail our coffin."

"You've thought about this a lot," Sam realized.

"I can't help it, Sam," Jason shrugged sadly. "I've had a lot of time to wonder about what could have been had I just told you the truth."

"It's pointless to wonder about what-if's." Sam looked at him wisely. "Wallowing about the good old days is never a good idea because if you do it enough, all the guilt and regret will end up burying you."

"You've said something like that before," Jason mused.

"I have?" Sam raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"Right before your operation, we sort of broke ground about where things stood between us," Jason said. At the confusion in her eyes, he added, "I started to apologize for everything but you told me that we both did things to each other that are in the past and apologizing wouldn't change anything. You told me not to torture myself with it."

"It will eat you alive if you let it," Sam finished for him.

Jason's eyebrows shot up. "You remember that?"

"No, it was something Danny used to say," Sam said, and smiled fondly at the memory of her brother. "He used to ask me why it took me so long to come for him. He assumed I knew about him and that he was with Evelyn and after finding out how she treated him, I was wracked with guilt."

"You couldn't have known," Jason said.

"I know that now but then I was so sad that I didn't sense that he was around. I mean, Cody barely told me anything about the family but when he did, he slipped up and almost mentioned my brother a couple of times. I beat myself up for never picking up on it."

"You haven't told me much about him but you have said that he was a liar," Jason said.

"Pathological," Sam muttered darkly. "Anyways, Danny would tell me the same thing that I told you and that I was here now and that's what mattered."

"I agree with him and you were amazing to him, Sam, completely devoted to him."

Sam smiled.

"I'm serious. You were willing to go to prison for him while you were pregnant and give your baby to Sonny and Carly just to keep the cops away from him."

She felt tears stain her cheeks. She would have gladly traded her own freedom to keep Danny safe; she knew from the first moment she saw him that she would gladly lay down her life for him. "And now he's gone," she sniffled. And she couldn't remember that, she added silently.

She still expected to find Danny in the old bike shop she had brought him to when she first came to Port Charles, working on a motorcycle, giving it life once again, or watching one of his favourite baseball team kick the crap out of their latest opponents.

"He adored you, Sam," Jason placed a hand on top of hers. "You were the most important person in his life. When we went to visit his school after he died to pack up his things, his friends there knew exactly who you were because Danny never stopped talking about his little sister Sam."

"Was I there when it happened?"

Jason nodded, tears forming in his eyes. "You never left his side and afterwards, you lashed out at Alexis."

"That wasn't her fault, though," Sam commented, wondering why she would have blamed Alexis for a choice that had been out of her hands.

"You blamed her because she took the antidote," Jason said.

"She had two little girls and a husband that needed her." She turned away at the thought of her two little sisters losing their mother back then. "I love my brother and I wish he were still here but he wouldn't have wanted to keep living at that cost. If Alexis had done what I asked, Danny would have refused the antidote too."

"Your relationship with Alexis, especially before you found out she was your mother, has always been rocky."

"Oh, I know, and after learning that I am her daughter, I'm sure I was even more resentful because they didn't need to take my daughter's stem cells since they could've tested me."

"There was no guarantee you would've been a match."

"I know, I'm just saying that I can imagine that realization probably added to my anger at her over Danny's death."

"You've lost a lot in your life," Jason tightened his grip over her hand. "But somehow you always managed to overcome each loss, coming out even stronger for it."

"I'm a survivor," Sam easily explained. She had been telling herself that since she was a kid living with her father while they were always on the run.

"You certainly are," he agreed, looking at her with pride in his eyes.

"Jason, I know that it's wise to leave the past where it is," she began to tell him.

"You have more questions," he realized.

"Yeah," she nodded, almost wishing she didn't have to put him through this but she needed to know these things. The past always affected a person's future and her mind was flowing with so many questions about what happened to her relationship with Jason that she couldn't go on without the answers.

It was obvious that he still cared for her by his willingness to sit with her, face her anger, and still answer her questions.

"I told you that I would tell you everything you wanted to know." He gave her a look that told her that it was okay to ask him.

"Why did you go along with Elizabeth's lie so easily?" Surprise registered in his eyes. He hadn't been expecting that question. "Jake is your son and obviously, you wanted to be in his life if you are now."

"I'm in his life because of you." He explained that she had told Emily that he was Jake's real father, not Lucky, and that his sister had managed to convince him to step up and be a father to his son.

"I did love my son and I wanted to raise him so much," he confessed, a smile forming on his lips. "When I found out, I wanted to find you immediately and tell you the news, and I knew that you would be so thrilled for me, despite whatever pain it would cause you."

"So you didn't claim him because of me?" Sam asked in confusion.

"Your situation was part of the reason because I didn't want to hurt you after being partly responsible for your inability to conceive."

"And what else?"

He sighed. "Elizabeth had reservations about my job and the way I lived in constant danger. She was never able to accept that part of me and she was terrified that the violence would spill into my son's life. You have to realize that she had Cameron to think about as well."

"Wasn't she married to a cop?" Sam asked curiously.

"They're remarried now and they had their first biological child early this year."

"But a cop's life is dangerous too."

"Lucky doesn't have people setting bombs in his house," Jason started to explain. "He's not in and out of jail, gone half the night, and he doesn't do the things that I do."

"If the danger was such a big deal, why did she tell you?"

"What?" Jason was confused.

"She lied about the paternity before and then spontaneously decided to tell you in some elevator."

"She thought we were going to die."

"I see," Sam nodded in understanding, realizing what Elizabeth had decided.

"What?" Jason asked.

"Her timing is impeccable."

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"She thought the two of you were going to die and she chose that moment to tell you that she was carrying your child." A cynical smile curled Sam's lip as she realized the true motive behind Elizabeth's last-minute confession. "She pretty much guaranteed her survival when she dropped that little bombshell, didn't she?"

"You are so cynical," Jason commented.

"I was a con, remember?" Sam chuckled at his baffled expression. "And a thief. It's not in my nature to see the best in people."

The door to her hospital room opened and a nurse dressed in pink scrubs walked in. Sam turned to look at her but the nurse was frozen in place, staring at her and Jason.

"Is there a problem?" Sam asked, confused about the anger she saw in the nurse's eyes.

Her gaze shifted to Sam, her eyes narrowed even more and then it returned to Jason, and her arms tightened around the chart in her hands. "What the hell are you doing with her?"

Sam watched in amazement as the nurse grabbed Jason from where he sat, pulled him up and tried to pull him out of the room, probably so they could talk without Sam hearing.

"Elizabeth, stop it." Jason pulled his arm out of her grasp and walked back over to Sam.

Sam's eyes were now wide with realization and she turned to look at the nurse. "You're Elizabeth Spencer."

Elizabeth looked at her in disgust. "Yes, and I see you're still playing this game."

A searing pain in her head had Sam holding her temple in agony. It was so intense that she thought she was going to pass out. She knew what was happening because it had felt the same when she had those flashes of Lila's death, the scene at Danny's grave, and the first time she had met Jason, only they weren't nearly as painful.

_"I didn't plan it," Elizabeth defended herself in a mocking tone._

"But you sure as hell didn't hesitate," Sam argued back angrily, taking a step closer to get in her face. "You wanted it. And if you would've hesitated for a second, you wouldn't be in this mess."

Elizabeth's face grew triumphant. "And I certainly don't regret it."

Her face filled with gratification. "I mean, why would I?" She tossed her head back thoughtfully. "Lucky and I were all but over, the two of you weren't together. There was nothing wrong with what we did."

She took a step closer to Sam to show that she wasn't intimidated. "Can you say the same for you and Ric?" Elizabeth added smugly.

Sam screamed as another memory hit her, the pain forcing her to lie down.

"Sam?" Jason looked down at her but she seemed to be so far away, locked in her own head.

_"I have to protect him," Carly had finished telling someone as Sam came around the corner. "You need help; you go to Jason. You need advice; you talk it through with Jason," Carly began to tell her mockingly as she could see right through her. "You're so upset; Jason's your go-to guy."_

"And?" Elizabeth shrugged carelessly. "He helps me; I help him."

"Give me a break, Elizabeth," Carly told her angrily. "You're the one-night stand who won't leave. And I get that you're pregnant, and that Jason was all upset and concerned about you because he thought he was the baby's father, but that's over now."

"Jason and I are very close friends," Elizabeth smiled at the frown on Carly's face.

"And you play it for all it's worth."

"He cares about me, Carly, whether you accept that or not, and he has for a long time." Elizabeth stepped closer and smirked at her as she rubbed that fact in Carly's face.

"Did you know that when he thought this baby might be his, he asked me to marry him?"

"He said he wanted to start a family with me—whether this child was his or not," Elizabeth finished, grinning devilishly.

"So are you saying that you have Jason on a line, and you're ready to reel him in whenever you want?"

Elizabeth leaned forward so she was in Carly's personal space. "I'm saying Jason genuinely wants to help me, and I am grateful that I can count on him."

Carly smirked and chuckled mirthlessly at her. "You act all sugary and sweet, but you really are the most calculating woman I know."

Elizabeth scoffed at her.

"You don't give a damn that Jason's in love with Sam."

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at the notion.

"You don't care about Jason at all," Carly said knowingly and then decided to take another stab. "And you certainly don't care what's best for Lucky."

Her eyes widened in offence. "Oh, that's a lie," she denied lamely.

"Is it?" Carly questioned disbelievingly. "You're just waiting for your chance. Because sooner or later, you're going to decide that you want Jason, and you're going to swoop in and take him."

Sam felt the pain subside and rubbed her temple. As she opened her eyes, she saw complete terror on Jason's face as he leaned over to help her sit up.

"Are you okay?" he asked in confusion.

"I think so," she answered unsure as she looked around to see Elizabeth rolling her eyes.

"What?" Sam barked, frustrated because she was still hurting a little.

Elizabeth head shot up in her direction, eyes narrowed. "Don't talk to me like that," she ordered.

"Why are you just standing there?" Jason demanded.

"Yeah, could you go and get me some aspirin?" Sam asked.

"Do I look like a servant?" Elizabeth scoffed.

"No, you look like a nurse whose job it is to give me my meds when I ask for them."

"That isn't one of your prescriptions," she replied matter of fact.

"It's just aspirin," Jason pleaded with her. "Sam's obviously in pain."

"I'm sorry, Jason, but I can't just give her whatever she wants," Elizabeth shook her head apologetically. "There are rules here."

"Why are you here?" Sam asked.

"I'm here to check your vitals."

"My vitals are fine," Sam gritted out through clenched teeth. "My head, however, feels like someone just hit it with a sledgehammer."

"I'll let your doctor know when he arrives," Elizabeth said, smiling at her sweetly and Sam felt nauseous.

"Couldn't you call or ask an attending?" Jason asked.

"What are you doing here, Jason?" Elizabeth ignored his question.

"I'm talking to Sam," he replied.

"Why?"

"Is that all you care about?" Sam demanded angrily. "He's visiting me and you're pissed about it so you're taking it out on me by denying me medication that I need?"

"No, I am not taking anything out on you. I'm not supposed to give you meds that haven't been okay-ed by your doctor."

"Then go ask one," Sam suggested.

"They're busy."

Sam felt her anger spike at the spiteful person before her. She felt like knocking her down to the ground and she bet she could with one punch.

"What is your problem with me?" Sam decided to get to the point.

"Don't act like you don't know," Elizabeth hissed. She placed her hands on her hips.

"I do know," Sam nodded but then cocked her head at the nurse. "But I also know that I had a tumor when I did those things."

"And you think that justifies what you did?" Elizabeth asked.

"I didn't say that," Sam shook her head insistently. "And I'm sorry for what I did but I wasn't myself when I watched your son being kidnapped."

"And did nothing to stop it, don't forget that."

"I'm aware of what I did," Sam said angrily, but kept herself from yelling. "But it's not fair for you to keep throwing it in my face when you know the circumstances. And if you're trying to make me feel ashamed it isn't working since I don't actually remember doing any of that."

"You don't feel guilty for what you did?" Elizabeth asked, appalled.

Sam saw what she was trying to do. "I feel sorry for what I did but I'm not responsible for your son's kidnapping."

"Excuse me?"

"Maureen kidnapped your son, not me," Sam replied harshly. "You forgave her, told her that you understood the pain she was in but for some reason, you can't show me the same forgiveness."

"You were mad at us," Elizabeth said, gesturing to her and Jason. "And you used Jake to get even."

"No, I didn't," Sam denied immediately.

"I thought you didn't remember." Elizabeth shook her head, puzzled.

"I don't but you do!" Sam exclaimed angrily. "You can hate me all you want but do not blame me for something that is your fault as much as it is mine, if not more."

"It's always someone else's fault." Elizabeth shook her head.

"I could say the same about you," Sam fired back. "You are the one that turned your back on your son. You were careless and it's easier to blame me than it is to admit that."

"You bitch!" Elizabeth raised her hand to slap her and Jason started to reach for it but Sam caught it before he could.

She squeezed Elizabeth's hand and watched as she started to wince. When she looked like she was about to cry, Sam pulled her forward roughly and then pushed her away, smiling as the nurse landed on the floor in a big heap.

"My tumor took away my ability to judge between right and wrong which is why I did those things to you," Sam stared down at her. "What's your excuse for all the things you've done to me?"

"I've done nothing wrong," Elizabeth said as she pulled herself to her feet.

"You told Jason that it was okay to lie to me, you wormed your way into his bed and continued to show your face," Sam accused her.

"We're friends," Elizabeth excused.

"Once you're with a guy that's not yours, it's wrong to keep showing up at his door," Sam reminded her. She had a feeling it wasn't the first time she had told her that. "You should have shown me some respect and stayed away from my man. And I don't care how close the two of you were, it doesn't give you the right to tell him that it's okay to lie to me."

"Jason made his own choice," Elizabeth pointed out.

"After you cried on his shoulder," Sam fired back. "How would you feel if I had actually slept with your husband, turned up pregnant and then told him that I didn't want him to tell you?"

"I wouldn't be too worried since you can't have kids."

"Elizabeth!" Jason exclaimed, disgusted.

Sam raised her hand and slapped her across the face, hard. "Get the hell out."

"I'm a nurse in this hospital."

"You're a useless nurse and I will beat you senseless if you don't get out of my room right now." Sam was furious that Elizabeth had thrown the fact that she couldn't have kids in her face.

Elizabeth seemed to value her life as she looked around fearfully and left the room in a huff.

"Keep her away from me." Sam told Jason warningly.

"I can't believe she did that," Jason shook his head, wondering why Elizabeth had delivered such a low blow.

"I mean it, Jason," Sam said and he looked up to see her eyes ablaze. "If she comes near me again, I will throw her through that window."

"I'll deal with her," Jason promised.

"You better because if you don't, I will."

_*Some dialogue in flashbacks was written by the writers of GH*_


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Maxie, who had been eavesdropping on Jason and Sam's entire conversation since she tried to stop him from visiting Sam an hour and a half before, sprung to action as she watched Elizabeth Spencer trot down the hallway.

She had heard the despicable things the nurse had said to Sam and was determined to confront the Long-Suffering Angel of Port Charles. As she caught up to the surprisingly fast walker, she lunged forward and grabbed Elizabeth's frail wrist.

Elizabeth shrieked quietly as Maxie latched onto her wrist but no one had even raised their heads at the noise. Maxie smiled triumphantly and dragged the nurse away from the populated area. The clawing at her hands was getting annoying but she was too determined to care. Adrenaline and rage were an unbeatable combination.

She threw the older woman into a deserted hallway.

"What has gotten into you, Maxie?" Elizabeth wailed and the younger girl finally released the hold on her arm.

"You, you despicable bitch," Maxie growled, her eyes narrowing in anger. "I heard the things you said to Sam."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "So?" she asked unashamed and the fact that she actually had the nerve to sound annoyed made Maxie want to scratch her eyes out.

"Kind of a low blow, don't you think?" Maxie looked her up and down and once again wondered why men like Jason and Lucky were drawn to a woman like Elizabeth. There was nothing remarkable about her. "It was actually very petty."

"I don't give a damn what you think of me." Elizabeth raised her nose at her and flared her nostrils in disgust.

"But Jason's opinion means the world to you," Maxie pointed out and by the way her eyes widened momentarily, she could tell she had hit a nerve. "You forgot didn't you?"

"What?" Elizabeth asked. 

"You were so caught up in your hatred that you completely forgot that Jason was in the room," Maxie laughed cruelly. "And he got a dose of reality; you showed your true colours to him for the first time since you've known him."

"I was upset," Elizabeth immediately defended her behaviour. "Sam was blaming me for my son's kidnapping and pinning her breakup with Jason on me again. I lost my temper."

"I don't know why you're bothering," Maxie shrugged, referring to her excuse. "Jason's not even here and I've always known the truth about you."

"You don't know anything about me."

"I know that you're a liar," Maxie pointed out and then cocked her head to the side. "But instead of taking responsibility for your actions like the rest of us, you make up excuses for your behaviour or blame it all on someone else."

"This coming from the woman that got my husband hooked on drugs, faked a pregnancy and ruined my marriage?" Elizabeth's tone was incredulous.

Maxie rolled her eyes. "It amazes me how you always gloss over your own actions."

"What are you talking about?"

"I wasn't innocent but I wasn't alone in the situation either yet you still managed to pin all the blame on me."

"You are to blame," Elizabeth said with accusing eyes.

"You were cold to him," Maxie fired back, stepped closer and pointed an accusatory finger at her. "You didn't pay any attention to him after he was shot trying to save you. You belittled his concerns about your flirtation with Patrick and you ran to Jason whenever you needed a shoulder to cry on or a pep talk."

"Don't you dare try to turn everything around on me to make yourself feel better," Elizabeth yelled.

Maxie shook her head, indicating that Elizabeth was dead wrong.. "I don't need to turn things around on you to cheer myself up because I know exactly what I did and I took full responsibility for my actions. You're the one pointing fingers because you're too much of a coward to admit your mistakes."

"I never claimed to be perfect," Elizabeth shook her head in denial.

Maxie looked at her incredulously. "You always claim to be blameless. You sit up on some imaginary pedestal, looking down at everyone around you, judging people for doing the same things you do."

"If you're talking about Sam," she started to say but Maxie cut her off. 

"Say nothing," Maxie snapped harshly. "I'm talking about the fact that you called Sam a slut because she slept with Ric—a man you married—and by doing that, she betrayed Jason."

"She did," Elizabeth insisted, "Sam never deserved Jason." She was silenced by a slap across the face.

"I warned you," Maxie held a threatening hand up. "Now I will do that every time you open your mouth while I am talking."

"You've betrayed Jason too," she couldn't help the smug smile that tugged at her lips as Elizabeth recoiled at the reminder. "Sam wasn't around back then so she probably doesn't know that you held a gun on him while he was searching for Carly, all in the name of protecting your husband—his enemy—who had in fact kidnapped his best friend."

"You harpoon me for sleeping with your husband and then you turn around and cheat on him, and only come clean when Ric forced you to admit to it on the stand." Maxie shook her head in annoyance at Elizabeth's frustrated expression but she kept silent. "I've heard you accuse Carly of taking advantage of Jason's friendship, calling it warped because he continually bails her out of the messes she gets herself into."

"Have you looked in the mirror lately?" Maxie asked curiously. She giggled at the confusion that swam in Elizabeth's eyes. "That's exactly what you do to Jason. At least Carly stands by him, supports him and helps him whenever he needs her. The only thing you've done is given birth to his child, but even that you manage to use to your advantage. First you lied about it and then you dangled his son in his face to get your own way."

After a while, Elizabeth looked at her cautiously. "Are you done?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"No, I'm not done," Maxie snapped, but decided against hitting her again. She didn't want to actually give her ammunition to have her arrested. "We need to talk about Sam and Jason."

Hatred burned in Elizabeth's eyes at the mention of the names. "Jealous much?" Maxie asked, catching her reaction.

"I am with Lucky now," she reminded her, declaring her love for her husband. "We're happily married."

"Then why are you all up in Jason's business?" Maxie asked.

"He is Jake's father," Elizabeth replied, her expression growing dark. "And I have a right to know about the people that he associates with because they will be around my son."

"Give me a break," Maxie rolled her eyes. "You're jealous that Sam can be with Jason because she can accept all the parts of him that you couldn't."

"I love Lucky," Elizabeth insisted.

"No, you settled for Lucky," Maxie retorted.

Elizabeth gasped in horror. "That is not true!"

"You may love him now but that's only because you know you can't be with Jason."

"The only thing between me and Jason is Jake," Elizabeth said through clenched teeth. "We're parents together and friends. That's it."

"And you expect me to believe that concern for Jake is behind your viciousness towards Sam?"

"That tramp watched him get kidnapped!" 

Maxie waved her ravings off with a tired hand and a yawn. "You sound like a broken record."

"That was three years ago," she pointed out. "And you know the truth now so get over it. Move on like everyone else has."

"Running around, screeching about what happened when you know about Sam's medical condition now makes you sound pathetic and bitter. I suggest you stop going off on Sam about those things because the glow of your halo is starting to fade."

"If worrying about my son with vindictive women like Sam around makes me sound bitter, then so be it," Elizabeth folded her arms across her chest stubbornly.

"Vindictive?" Maxie repeated incredulously. "You just cruelly threw the fact that she can't have kids in her face—again. You say Sam is vindictive, but she has done nothing to you since she came back. What you just did was heartless and—oh, what's that word again?" Maxie clapped her head as she tried to remember and then her eyes glittered with triumph. "Vindictive."

Elizabeth glowered at her. "I don't have to listen to this," she declared and started to walk away.

"I think I've made my point anyway," Maxie grinned wickedly. She brushed past Elizabeth and then turned around to look down the hall that was out of Elizabeth's view and her grin widened.

"Hey, Jason, if you're looking for Elizabeth, she's right there." Maxie called over to him and smiled sweetly at the brute. Then she looked back at Elizabeth. "Have fun," she winked.

Elizabeth took a deep breath to calm herself down, pushing her anger and annoyance down as Jason approached her, looking very angry. "Hey, what's up?" She smiled up at him sweetly.

Jason was not moved. "What the hell was that?" He demanded, pointing back down the hallway.

Elizabeth misunderstood his question, thinking he was referring to Maxie. "She just came up behind me and started in on me," she said in an exasperated tone as she watched Maxie's retreating form. "That girl really needs to grow up."

Jason looked at her incredulously. "Don't try to change the subject, Liz."

"I'm not," Elizabeth insisted.

"I was talking about what you just did to Sam and you're trying to distract me with Maxie," Jason shook his head in disappointment. "Don't hide behind that to excuse your behaviour towards Sam."

She finally realized that she had misunderstood his question and held her forehead in frustration. "Look, I lost my temper back there with Sam, Jason."

"Seeing her and hearing her talking about Jake brought everything back. What happened still makes me angry and I lashed out at her."

"So you threw the fact that she can't conceive in her face?" Jason asked, puzzled. "Exactly what did that accomplish?"

"It hurt her," Elizabeth replied, casting her gaze downward to appear ashamed. "And that's what I was aiming for."

"I can't stand that she gets a pass for standing by while Jake was kidnapped and hiring those men to threaten me and my boys in the park because of some tumor she didn't even know about."

"It's the truth," Jason reminded her gently. "I know it's hard for you to accept but you've seen what Nikolas' tumor turned him into."

"It's not the same thing," Elizabeth denied immediately.

"The doctors disagree," Jason argued. "And even so, Sam doesn't remember any of that."

"Don't tell me you're actually buying her sudden bout of amnesia." Elizabeth demanded in amazement.

"You think it's an act?" Jason was surprised.

"Of course it is!" She nodded her head insistently. "She's trying to sink her claws into you, Jason. She's pretending that she can't remember anything so you'll feel sorry for her and relate to her because of your own memory loss."

"No, she isn't," Jason declared, astounded that Elizabeth actually believed that Sam would go to such extremes. Sam wouldn't do something that pathetic and he knew it.

"Jason, you don't know what she's like," Elizabeth started to say but he cut her off.

"I know Sam," he told her with an edge in his voice. He was warning her. "I know her a helluva lot better than you or anyone else so when I say she wouldn't fake amnesia, I know what I'm talking about."

"Then how does she remember certain things but not others?" Elizabeth questioned.

"She's been having flashes," Jason replied carefully. "Patrick is examining her right now, trying to find out why they're accompanied with so much pain."

"I want you to stay away from Sam," he told her seriously. "If you're assigned to her, ask to be reassigned to someone else."

"Excuse me?" Elizabeth demanded angrily. "I am a nurse at this hospital and I will work with whoever I want. Who are you to tell me any different?"

"Don't make me get a restraining order against you," he warned her, his eyes begging her not to make this difficult. "She just had brain surgery and stress or agitation is not good for her recovery. As a nurse, you should know that. You got Sam so worked up, she had to be sedated."

"Why do you care so much about Sam?" Elizabeth finally asked what she had been wondering ever since she walked in on the two of them together in Sam's hospital room.

"I love Sam!" Jason roared angrily. "I've always loved her. Don't pretend that you don't know that."

"I watched her slip away from me for three days while she was in a coma and I will not go through that again because of you!"

Elizabeth stared at him, stunned into silence.

"I don't want to hurt you," Jason was calmer now but his voice still held a tinge of anger. "But if you hurt Sam again or cause her to lapse back into a coma because of another argument, it won't matter to me that you're Jake's mother."

"So now you're threatening me for her?" Elizabeth asked him.

"I am trying to keep Sam alive," Jason replied, shaking his head in a reply. "If you continue to be a problem, you'll have no one to blame but yourself for the consequences." And then he walked away.

"What did I miss?" Jason appeared in the doorway of her hospital room.

Nikolas Cassadine turned to look at him from the chair he sat in by Sam's bedside. Sam was sleeping soundly.

"Patrick was alarmed when Sam told him about the pain she experienced during the flashes of memory she had."

Jason nodded. "I thought she was going to fall into a coma again because of the stress."

"Patrick warned that it was a possibility," Nikolas confirmed his fears.

"Do they know what's causing it?" He asked curiously as his gaze swept over Sam.

Nikolas nodded. "She wanted to be the one to tell you."

Jason groaned in frustration. "Of course she does." He walked further into the room, stopping at the foot of her bed. He looked back at Nikolas. "Do they know how long she'll be out?"

Before Nikolas could answer, Sam spoke. "Who could sleep with you two loudmouths around?" Jason's gaze shifted to her face and found that her eyes were still closed but she was smiling.

"Very amusing," Nikolas commented and reached over, squeezed her hand. 

Sam's eyes opened and she giggled at their expressions. "Can't blame a girl for having a little fun."

Jason looked down at Sam worriedly. "Are you okay?" He wanted to know what Patrick had told her.

Nikolas seemed to sense the urgency Jason was feeling because he stood up and hugged Sam. "I'll see you later," he smiled down at his cousin and looked at Jason, nodding at him. A few seconds later, the door closed behind him.

Sam pushed the button on her bed so she was now in a sitting position. "You might as well sit down, Jason," she said, glancing over at the chair Nikolas had vacated.

Jason sat down and looked at her questioningly. "What did Patrick say?"

"He wants me to have another surgery," Sam told him bluntly. She went on to explain that Patrick had ordered an MRI and the results showed that some of the remnants of the tumor that had been operated on had grown to forge a new tumor.

"He thinks it's causing the problems with my memories and he wants to remove it."

"You haven't fully recovered from your first surgery and now he wants to put you through the same invasive procedure again?" Jason's tone of voice incredulous. "Maybe he's just scalpel-happy."

Sam burst out laughing. "Of course he is," she agreed, chuckling lightly now. "He is a surgeon but that doesn't mean he's wrong."

"You've already agreed to it, haven't you?"

"Yes," Sam nodded and she saw the concern behind his gaze. Her features softened and she reached out to stroke his cheek. "I'll be fine. Hopefully, this will give me back my memories and I'll never have to worry about another tumor."

"I'm afraid to hope," Jason admitted fearfully. "Last time you almost died."

"But I didn't," Sam reminded him, waiting until he finally looked her in the eyes. "Besides, the decision is mine to make and I've made it."

He nodded in agreement. "It is your decision."

"It means a lot that you care," she added with a sexy smile.

He chuckled at her. "I care a lot," he told her seriously. "I never stopped."

Sam looked at him in confusion. She sensed he was talking about something deeper. "What is it?" she asked.

Jason loved that she was still able to read him so well, despite having no memory of him and the amount of time they had been apart. "I love you."

Tears glistened in her eyes and her smile widened. "I think I love you too."


	21. Chapter 21

_Here's the next installment. Short but sweet. Enjoy. Next up will probably be Con a Con but no definite date for when that'll be finished._

**Chapter 21**

Jason stood outside Sam's hospital room as Patrick examined her. She was brought out of surgery five days before and still hadn't woken up. The talented neurosurgeon assured him that it was normal for Sam to take her time waking up.

"She could be out for another week," he had told him. He knew it was meant to reassure him but Jason had felt like snapping his neck.

There was no way he could watch Sam lying in bed for much longer. He was already out of his mind with worry.

"Well?" Jason asked Patrick when the doctor exited Sam's room.

Patrick looked at him and smirked. "She's recovering nicely. I think she'll wake up soon."

"How soon?" Jason needed clarification.

The doctor shrugged. "A few hours to a day," he replied.

"What about her memory?" Alexis piped up for the first time since she had arrived two hours before.

Patrick turned to her and grinned. "It should be intact. She shouldn't be forgetting anything anymore."

Nikolas, who was sitting beside his aunt, raised an eyebrow. "Should?" He repeated and his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

Patrick grimaced. "As always, there are no guarantees in medicine."

Jason muttered a curse under his breath as he ran a frustrated hand through his hair. He looked back at Sam's sleeping form. From this distance, it appeared as if she was resting peacefully. He was grateful that her skin tone was normal. Last time she had been deathly pale.

Drake gripped his shoulder. "Waiting is the hardest part but I really believe she'll be fine."

"I don't like hospitals," Jason declared and then looked back at Sam. "I especially don't like it when Sam is the patient. Every time she's in here, she seems to lose something."

Her baby, her brother, the ability to conceive, and her memory were among the many things she had lost. When she came to visit Elizabeth after Jake was born and overheard the conversation between himself and the nurse, she must have felt like she had lost him.

"Well, she'll be gaining her memory this time," Patrick spoke positively but Jason didn't have the strength to nod in agreement. History was against them and he never did well with optimism.

He liked to be prepared. Most often, for the worst possibility. The idea that Sam might not come back from the surgery scared the hell out of him and that kind of helpless fear paralyzed him.

"Sam has survived worse than this," Alexis reminded him gently. "She will bounce back. In time, she'll be back better than ever."

Her opinion rarely mattered to him but he found himself feeling a burst of hope flow through his veins at her maternal pep talk.

"Do you really believe that?" He was still unsure.

"I know it," Alexis declared, and scrunched her nose in disgust at the possibility that she was wrong. It was like the thought that things never went the way she wanted them never entered her mind.

Maxie, who was leaning against the wall outside Sam's room, glanced at him. "After everything she's been through," the young girl began incredulously as she came up beside him and chuckled wistfully as she glanced back at the strong, willful woman who had quickly become her best friend. "Do you really think Sam is going to let a tumor cut her down?"

The girl shook her head insistently. "She'll be up and talking a mile a minute before we know it."

That remark brought a smile to Jason's face. He might need to be committed later on but he couldn't wait to hear Sam's rambling again. It would be music to his ears.

Sam was aware of the strong, warm hand wrapped familiarly around her smaller one as she slowly opened her eyes. The light in the room was too bright for her to handle and she squeezed her eyes shut quickly to block out the harsh, painful rays, exhaling slowly, unaware of the light whimper that escaped her throat as she did so.

The hand tightened around hers briefly and then loosened just as quickly. "Sam?" He sounded uncertain as he called her name and she nodded slowly to indicate that she was indeed awake.

"Jason?" She murmured softly.

He let out a deep breath as he brought her hand to his mouth, placing soft kisses along her palm. "Thank God." The relief in his voice brought tears to her eyes.

When she opened her eyes again, she could see him, peering down at her in concern and happiness.

"How long was I out?" Sam looked around the room curiously. She sensed that it had taken longer than expected for her to wake up and judging by the worry lines on his face and relief swimming in his eyes, her instincts were still right on the mark.

"I'll tell you everything," his voice was very calm and precise, which made Sam nervous. "Tell me what you remember first."

Sam closed her eyes briefly. Experiences and memories that had been lost to her for so long were now flooding back, and she relived every emotion, experience and loss that she couldn't remember before. Despite all the pain and misery she had been through, she found herself smiling when she opened her eyes again.

"I remember everything," she declared proudly, unashamed of her past for the first time in years. Tears swam in her eyes as she looked up at him. "I also remember how you helped me through it all."

She tightened her grip on the hand that he had wrapped around hers. "Thank you," she said sincerely and smiled sweetly at him.

That smile was what made Jason lean forward quickly and capture her mouth with his; kissing her with all the pent-up emotion he had been holding in for the past week. When the kiss ended, he pulled away, but only far enough so that he could see her face.

Sam gulped at the glint in his eyes. She knew what that look meant. She had seen it so many times before, staring down at her in a dimly lit bedroom.

"You're welcome," he told her passionately and then his eyes grew serious. "But don't ever scare me like that again."

"I'll do my best," she vowed and planted a firm kiss on his mouth before leaning back in her bed.

"We're going to need to talk about things," Jason's voice interrupted her attempt at going back to sleep.

She glanced at him and nodded in understanding. "I know," she acknowledged.

"I want to know where we stand."

Her eyes popped open and she glared at him. "I just woke up from brain surgery. I'm a little wiped out."

"You've been awake for twenty minutes," he pointed out.

"Well, waking up from a coma takes a lot out of a girl," Sam shot back with a wink, yawning immediately afterwards. "Serious talk will have to wait for tomorrow."

"I'd wait forever," he said silently but she was already back asleep.


	22. Chapter 22

_Hey everyone. Hope all is well with you. I'm back with the next installment of Recover. Hope you like it. It was rather difficult one for me to write because I wanted to stay true to the characters but also true to the way I've portrayed them thus far in the story. Let me know what you think. Enjoy._

* * *

**Chapter 22**

She opened her eyes slowly the next morning and wasn't surprised to see Jason sleeping in a chair in the corner. She smirked at the way he was twisted up like a pretzel, sleeping in what had to be one of the most uncomfortable chairs ever. She wondered why he didn't ask for a cot to be moved in the room.

She moved slightly in the bed and Jason being a light sleeper awoke immediately, his blue eyes alert, surveying the room for any signs of danger before his gaze finally fell on her.

She chuckled at the relief that flooded his face, raised her hand and waived at him. "Good morning."

Jason laughed lightly as he dragged the chair right next to her bed and sat back down. "Welcome back," he grinned at her and reached for her hand, immediately intertwining their fingers once she willingly laid her hand trustingly in his.

Sam was mesmerized by the light in his eyes. "You too," she said, bringing their joined hands to her face and kissing his fingers. "I've missed you."

Jason looked at her strangely. "You were asleep for a while," he realized.

Sam shook her head simply. "That's not what I meant." She reached up with her other hand and stroked his cheek lightly, her smile widening as he closed his eyes, savoring her touch. When he opened his eyes again, she kissed him. "There he is."

"Who?" Jason frowned.

"My Jason," she replied frankly, and laughed when his frown deepened. "There was a time when I looked in your eyes and I didn't recognize the man looking back at me. He was a stranger but now, the man I know—the one that I fell in love with—he's all I see."

He nodded in understanding. There was a time when he didn't recognize the woman she became, the self-destructive, vindictive woman she had turned into after he had hurt her. Now, his Sam was back; a little wiser and even stronger but still all his Sam.

"I guess we have to have that talk now." Sam sighed heavily and Jason prepared himself for rejection.

"Yes, we do," he agreed, already hardening his heart against the inevitable pain he'd be feeling. While she was sleeping, he had started thinking about what he wanted. And that was her. Back in his life. For good.

But after everything that had happened, could they really go back?

Sam saw him starting to close down, shielding himself from any pain and she rolled her eyes. Some things never changed. "I don't know what you expect to talk about if you never tell me what you want."

His eyes narrowed slightly. "You know what I want."

She shook her head. "I think I know what you want but I'm not a mind reader." She took her hand out of his. "I'm not going to guess anymore, Jason. You have to tell me or we won't work."

Hope jumped to life in his heart at her words. "We?" he repeated, looking at her cautiously.

She arched an eyebrow at him. "You tell me," she said simply, not giving him an inch.

Jason felt like arguing but he knew her stonewalling was just an imitation of the role he used to play. He would laugh at her subtle mockery of his own behaviour if it weren't for the impatient glare that she was now sending his way. "I love you."

Sam instantly felt a chink in her armor at the simple declaration. She wouldn't have been able to stop the lone tear that fell from her eye if she tried. "Still?" She asked with a tremulous smile, half joking, half not.

"I've never stopped, Sam, and I think we both know that." He was also talking about her love for him never fading even after every that they'd been through. "I want you back."

She immediately sensed his hesitation. "But?" she prodded.

His expression grew worried. "Do you think we could ever go back to the way we were?"

Sam's smile faded momentarily as she considered his question. "No," she replied and her smiled returned. "I think we can be even stronger than before."

He let out the breath he had been holding after she had almost confirmed his fear. "Do you really think so?"

"Jason, three years ago, I never thought I would speak to you again," she pointed out incredulously.

"Neither did I," Jason admitted glumly.

She grabbed a hold of his hand and squeezed it lightly in reassurance. "I love you with all my heart Jason Morgan. That is something that has never changed, even when all I wanted was to hurt you as much as you hurt me."

He nodded along with her words. There really were two sides to every story and he was forever grateful that he hadn't let his own anger and pain stop him from realizing the agony she had been through just like she had done the same for him. Their relationship had never been easy but it had always been strong enough to overcome most obstacles thrown their way.

He carefully put his own weight on the bed as he leaned forward and pulled her gently to him in a bone-crushing embrace. "I've missed you so much. I didn't even know how much until now," he whispered into her hair as he buried his face in her neck, placing small kisses on her neck.

"I've missed you too," Sam said through her joy-filled voice which was thick with emotion as she put her arms around his shoulders. "And I love you."

Sam's expression grew serious after she pulled away from their embrace. "Now, there are some things we need to get straight."

Jason raised his gaze to meet hers, slightly nervous about her sudden change in demeanor. "Okay."

"We both have to promise to always be there for each other and let the other know when something's wrong," Sam said, hoping he understood that lack of communication was a big factor in the destruction of their relationship. "And you."

"What?" He asked.

She pointed at him as she spoke. "You better promise—no _swear_—to me right here, right now that you will never, and I mean _never_ lie to me again."

"I'll never lie to you again."

Sam's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Even if you think it's for my own good? Even if you think you're protecting me from something that might get me killed or hurt my feelings?"

"I will never lie to you again for any reason." And he meant every word. He had already lost her once because of a lie and he wasn't ever going to make that mistake again. From now on, he would tell her the truth even if it killed him to hurt her.

"Good," Sam said, satisfied with his answer. "Now that we've settled that, can you please stop talking my ear off and kiss me now?"

Chuckling, he leaned down and gladly obliged her, closing his mouth over hers in an earth-shattering kiss.


	23. Chapter 23

_It's BACK! I was stuck for so long on this story but when I needed a break from studying it served as a great distraction. That was almost five hours ago. Hope you like it. Enjoy._

**Chapter 23**

Sam was lying in her hospital bed with her eyes closed, trying in vain to get back to sleep. After a few minutes passed, she blew out a frustrated sigh and clenched the sheets beneath her. "I hate this place," she muttered to the empty room.

She heard footsteps approaching the door to her room and she glanced at the portion of the illuminated hallway that was visible to her through the small window in the door. She could make out Patrick Drake's frame as he stood just outside her door, conversing with someone that was out of her line of sight.

Sam guessed it was a nurse or another doctor. She knew it wasn't Robin because she would have recognized her voice. It definitely wasn't Elizabeth because she would've recognized the whiny voice right away even through a thick hospital door. And Nikolas had told her that he had her banned from being her nurse.

A smile tugged at her lips as she recalled mentioning it to Jason the day before. He had stiffened and averted his gaze immediately and admitted to asking Nikolas to use his influence and position on the hospital board to get Elizabeth banned from having access to Sam while she was a patient now and forever.

She knew he didn't like asking for favours from others and given his rocky history with Nikolas, Sam guessed it probably irritated him that he had been forced to go to the Prince for help for anything, but especially in a matter that was related to her.

He had reminded her that for a long time, he had been the only one she called family in Port Charles. But now that she had family, he had to get used to the fact that there were more people looking out for her now than just him.

"You're already awake?" Patrick's voice interrupted her thoughts as he approached her bed slowly with a nurse Sam didn't recognize behind him.

"No." She grumbled and folded her arms across her chest. "I'm still awake. It seems to be impossible to get any sleep in this place that isn't drug-induced."

He chuckled softly as he began writing in the binder he held in his hand that she knew to be her file. "It won't be for much longer," he assured her as he looked up from his task. "You'll be leaving us soon."

Sam sat up at this information, albeit slowly. "How soon?" She smiled up at him.

"The day after tomorrow."

"That seems very soon." Sam looked at the door and smiled at Nikolas. She waved him in and he came around to sit beside her.

"Don't listen to him." She wagged a finger at Nikolas playfully. "I'm finally getting out of here. Don't ruin it."

"You've had two major surgeries very close together, Sam." He placed a hand over hers. "You need time to heal." He looked to Patrick for answers.

"It's been four weeks." Sam answered before Patrick had the chance and held up four fingers for emphasis. "I'm tired of this place. I want to go home and really start to heal."

"I wouldn't agree to release her if I didn't think she was ready," Patrick assured them both and smiled when Sam gave him two thumbs up in response. Then he eyed her. "But you will need to take it easy."

Sam nodded. "I will. I swear."

"No salvage work whatsoever."

"Doc," she drawled out amusedly. "I just had brain surgery but I'm not stupid. I know how to take care of myself."

He rolled his eyes in response. "How many times have you been in this hospital, Sam?" She was silent as she tried to count the number of times and then frowned. "You don't know the exact number do you? Probably too many to keep track of." She glared at him. "Which is precisely why I want someone watching you for the first two weeks."

"Now wait just a minute." Sam began to protest.

"Or I will transfer you to a rehab centre until I deem you are fully recovered."

Sam figured this was payback for the time she blackmailed him into keeping Elizabeth off the surgical team during her operations. "When you say I need supervision, exactly what do you mean?" She wasn't about to stay in another hospital.

"Constant supervision and you will return here after two weeks to see how you are progressing." Patrick instructed and then left the room.

"You could move into Wyndemere with me." Sam turned to Nikolas with wide eyes. "There's plenty of room and more than enough people on staff to accommodate you while you recover."

"I don't want to impose." Nikolas shook his head at the notion.

"You're family. It'll be nice to have you around." She frowned at his words and wracked her brain to come up with a plausible reason why she shouldn't stay with her cousin.

"You need to spend all your time with your son, Nikolas, and I would just be in the way of that."

"Spencer loves you, Sam." She groaned inwardly and grabbed her bed sheets in frustration again. "He'd probably love having you around."

"Nikolas, I can't stay with you." His brow furrowed.

"Why not?" She bit her lip nervously as she tried to think of another reason. "You know you can't stay on that boat." She smirked. He had just given her a way to change the subject.

"And why not?" He glared at her. "What? It is my home after all."

"Sam, it's no place for you to recover and you know that." She shook her head stubbornly. "You should just stay with me."

"I can't."

"Why not?" She groaned in frustration. She so did not want to tell him the embarrassing truth.

"Sam."

"Your house creeps me out, okay?" He looked at her in silence for a minute and then started laughing. "No, this is not funny, Nikolas. Gargoyles have scared me ever since I was a kid." That made him laugh harder.

"Maybe I should tell you that I took the liberty of reacquiring your loft." She looked at him, puzzled.

"I was subletting it. How did you manage to get rid of my tenant?" He winked at her.

"A bribe." She gasped.

"It wasn't that much really," Nikolas added as he repositioned himself in the char. "The person was really stupid. Only took me for a few thousand."

Sam woke up a few hours later and smiled when she felt another hand grip hers tighter. "Hey," she whispered softly before she opened her eyes. When she did, Jason was smiling down at her. She tilted her head to welcome his kiss.

"How long was I asleep?" She asked afterwards.

"Only a couple of hours," Jason intertwined their fingers as he brushed a wayward curl from her face and tucked it behind her ear with his other hand. "Nikolas told me that Patrick is releasing you soon."

"Nikolas has a big mouth." Sam pouted in disappointment. She wanted to be the one to tell him.

"He wanted me to try to convince you to move in with him." Jason eyed her curiously and waited for an explanation. "I told him no because I know about your fear of gargoyles."

"Patrick will only release me if I have someone to watch me."

"That's probably a good idea." He looked at her thoughtfully. "I was going to suggest hiring a nurse to come and visit you for a few hours a day."

Her eyes lit up. "What a brilliant suggestion." She pulled him closer and kissed him in thanks.

Jason cupped her cheek. "Patrick already shot the idea down," he told her apologetically.

She frowned. "He really holds a grudge," she commented bitterly. Jason looked confused. "I'll tell you later." And then she groaned. "I'm already moving back to my old loft. Why does Dr. Drake insist on being so annoying?"

"There is an alternative." She looked at him expectantly. "You could move in with me." Sam stared at him in wide-eyed shock.

"Are you serious?" He nodded.

"I love you." Her voice was full of love and appreciation and she reached forward and stroked his cheek. "But it's way too soon for that." His face fell. "Jason, we just got back together. It's been going great and I think that's because we're pacing ourselves. We don't want to rush into anything."

"It's not a marriage proposal." She winced at the anger in his voice and felt her own temper flare. "I just want to take care of you."

"I know that but I can take care of myself despite what Patrick Drake thinks." She licked her dry lips and took a sip of water. "Would you even be asking me to move in if I wasn't in this situation?" He looked down. "Exactly. You know it's too soon for us to live together again."

He nodded in agreement. He leaned forward and rested his head against hers. "I miss you sometimes." His voice was thick with emotion as he stared at her longingly with those incredible eyes and she felt her heart flop. "It wasn't a home until you came along."

She smiled through her tears. "It was my first real home." She kissed him lightly. "I hope it will be again someday." He nodded in agreement. "You can feel free to visit me at the loft any time. In fact, I insist that you spend the night at least five days a week."

"Count on it." And he sealed his promise with a kiss.

"So what did she decide?" Sonny asked Alexis a few days later while they sat in his office after a lengthy discussion regarding Kristina and the choice to put her into a prep school the next year.

Alexis looked at him. "She asked Maxie Jones to move in with her."

Sonny nodded in approval. "That will work. I know Jason will be relieved to know that she has someone with her at all times."

Alexis glared at him but agreed. "So am I." She knew their meeting was over but still she stayed.

"Was there something else?" Sonny's gaze bored into hers.

She hesitated and then started to open her mouth. "Well," she began nervously but then shook her head resolutely as if she had come to a decision. "No that's all."

"Alexis," Sonny stared at her seriously as he took a sip of the coffee in front of him. Jason's brew, not his. He wasn't particularly fond of his own. "Are you okay?"

She sighed heavily. "I really don't know what to do," she confessed. She pulled out an envelope from her purse and looked at it again, wondering why life could be so cruel.

"Just start at the beginning." He encouraged her, knowing that whatever it was, it was seriously troubling her, eating away at her soul or conscience.

She started babbling about while Sam was in a coma after the second surgery. "I've made so many mistakes in my life. Sam seemed like the worst." She seemed to sense that he was narrowing his eyes so she looked up at him, eyes flashing. "I mean, in the way I've treated her. Every time we try to build a relationship, something happens to derail all the progress and sometimes I wonder if it's even worth it. And now." She looked down in defeat.

"Look, whatever's going on, you need to talk to Sam about it." He reached forward and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Be honest about your feelings. The rest will work itself out. If you want to keep your daughter in your life, you're going to have to make some big changes in your behavior."

Tears filled her eyes as she shook her head. "That's just it, Sonny." She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "It turns out that she is not my daughter after all." She looked up at him to reveal her pained expression. "You tell me how I'm supposed to be honest with Sam about that."

********

_Be honest. Love me now? Or do you hate me?_


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

"It's ready!" The cheerful announcement roused Sam from her thoughts of Jason.

"What?" She called out.

"My room." Maxie shouted back. Loudly. "Which means, get your butt out of there and come see my success."

"I'll be there in a minute."

Sam reached for the bottle of aspirin. She opened it and poured two caplets into the palm of her hand. Holding her opened water bottle in her hand, she tipped it so that the liquid poured into her mouth, then she popped the two pills into her mouth and swallowed.

"I have to tell you, Sam, I have outdone myself this time." The bouncy blonde commented as she strolled into the master bathroom through the door in the hallway. Sam had her own door in her room.

Maxie paused slightly when she noticed the bottle in her hand. "Your head is still bothering you?" Her forehead creased lightly in concern. She reached for the bottle of aspirin from where Sam had placed it on the counter and was shocked to find it almost half empty. "Maybe we should take you to the hospital."

Sam glared at her, shaking her head adamantly. "It's nothing to worry about." She looked up and found her roommate glaring at her. "What?"

"You're recovering from brain surgery, Sam, and now you're having bad headaches."

"What's your point?" Sam shrugged. 

Maxie's jaw dropped slightly. "Maybe Patrick nicked something he shouldn't have and something's wrong."

Sam laughed a little at that. "Or I just had brain surgery and the headaches are a side effect. You need to relax." She met Maxie's gaze in the mirror. "My head has been cut open twice in the last few months so of course it's going to hurt for a while."

"Better to be safe than sorry." Maxie said in a singsong tone as she tugged at Sam's arm lightly, pulling her out into the hall. "Now, come see."

Sam walked into the room, looked around and whistled in approval. "Nice." It wasn't really her style but it definitely screamed her roommate's name.

"Thank you." And Maxie gave a little bow.

The door downstairs opened and both women turned to look at the other questioningly.

"Are you?" Sam began to ask to which Maxie quickly shook her head. "Neither am I." She looked around the room and felt her frustration level go up a notch. "We need to put a gun in here." She muttered as she tiptoed across the hall to her own room with Maxie right behind her.

When she returned to the hall, she could hear footsteps coming close to the staircase. 

"Sam." Jason called from downstairs and she let out a breath of relief.

"I'll be down soon." She put her gun away where it belonged and came back out into the hall to find Maxie with her arms folded across her chest.

"We need to tie a bell around his neck." Sam chuckled at the idea. Jason Morgan wearing a bell was an image that she could not picture. "And absolutely not." Sam frowned at her in confusion.

Maxie gestured to her bedroom behind her. "Consider this the only gun-free zone in the house." She knew Sam had stashed guns in all the other rooms for safety reasons. She didn't know where but just like the air she breathed, she knew they were there.

"If that'll help you sleep at night." Sam winked at her before she descended the stairs.

He blinked several times but still Alexis was seated in front of him with tears in her eyes. Sonny frowned uncertainly. "What are you talking about?" He found his voice and it sounded weak to his own ears.

Alexis sniffed and then pulled a handkerchief out of her purse and dabbed at her eyes daintily. She lifted the envelope she had been clutching since she had walked in and handed it over to him.

He took it out of her hand. Looking at her quizzically, he pulled out the paper slowly, then unfolded it and began to read the contents of the letter. When he was finished, he shot a wide-eyed stare in Alexis' direction, and was sure that his face was a display of complete shock.

She had been watching his reaction and when his expression registered complete bewilderment, she nodded in understanding.

"I felt something akin to that when I read that damn thing for the first time. Of course I also felt my heart break." And she shot a glare at the letter in Sonny's hand with disdain. One teeny error in ordering tests had now derailed so many lives.

Alexis began to tell him that while Sam was in a coma after her first surgery, she had donated some blood since she was A negative which meant that she could give to her daughter.

The hospital had mistakenly sent both of their blood to the DNA lab to be tested and had discovered that Sam and Alexis were not mother and daughter.

She looked at him desperately. "Do you have any idea what this will do to my d—to Sam?" She corrected herself awkwardly as she realized that she had been about to call Sam her daughter and felt her heart constrict painfully at the realization that Sam McCall wasn't her daughter. Every time she realized it, it hurt and she wondered if the pain would ever go away.

"What about that clinic in Maine with records of Sam's birth?" Sonny was sure that he remembered Jason telling him that the clinic had records of a certain amount of babies born on Sam's birthday.

"Sam is that baby but I am not her mother." Alexis shrugged at the questions she could still see in his eyes. "I guess Sam and Jason were wrong and so was whoever pointed them in my direction." There was never an actual DNA test done. Obviously the clinic's records were less than stellar since Sam had gone to the wrong woman's doorstep initially. The address given to her by the clinic that was written her file had been wrong. That woman who had given birth to a son had pointed Sam and Jason to Alexis' school.

She was trying to figure out everything in her own mind and then marveled at what a coincidence it was that she and Sam's real mother had been in the same place on the same day.

"But then how do you explain the fact that Sam had the same illness Nikolas did if they're not actually related?" Sonny suddenly asked, looking very perplexed.

It had never even crossed her mind. "I don't know." Alexis shrugged, looking down at her hands that were placed in her lap as she felt her confusion grow. "I've asked Robin to have mine and Sam's blood analyzed further by the hospital's lab."

"You have to tell Sam." Sonny told her grimly.

Alexis instinctively shook her head.

"Alexis." Sonny waited for her to meet his gaze. "You can't keep this from her. You know you have to tell her."

She stared at him with wide terrified eyes. "And just how do you propose I do that." She furrowed her brow worriedly. "How does someone even start a conversation off like that! Hi Sam. Yes, I'm glad you're feeling better today. You look amazing. Oh, by the way, I've known for weeks that you're not really my daughter!"

Her voice was growing frantic. "Maybe I should just come right out and say it instead." She groaned. "No matter how I do it, I will be breaking her heart and my own. I never want to hurt Sam so why does it seem like it's all I do?" She turned to Sonny for answers.

"I'm sorry." Was the only response he could give her. And he shifted uncomfortably as Alexis glared daggers at him, wishing he could dig himself a hole to hide in and be done with this conversation already.

Alexis entered the 4th floor of General Hospital and crossed immediately to the nurse's station to where Epiphany Johnson stood. 

"Can I help you?" The nurse asked gruffly without bothering to look up from the chart she was marking up.

"Is Doctor Scorpio available." Alexis looked around nervously to make sure there was nobody around who would come up and talk to her. She did not want to have to engage in a social conversation at the moment.

After rustling through papers on a clipboard, Epiphany looked up at the person who was talking to her and felt her eyes narrow at the sight of the attorney. "Do you have an appointment." She knew the answer before Alexis shook her head. "Then consider yourself lucky. It just so happens that Doctor Scorpio has a vacancy in her schedule at the moment. Have a seat and I will page her."

A few minutes later Robin found Alexis in the waiting room and beamed down at her. "It's been a few days since I've seen you."

"We need to stop meeting like this." Alexis quipped as she rose to her feet. "I need to have a word with you about a rather sensitive subject."

Robin nodded solemnly from her and led her to an empty exam room. She closed the door when Alexis. "Have you told Sam yet." She looked up at Alexis who was looking down at the ground in sadness but she shook her head slowly. "I'm so sorry, Alexis."

"I need answers, Robin." Sympathetic, Robin nodded in understanding. "So will Sam."

"Anything that I can do."

Alexis bit her lip before she spoke. "I was talking to Sonny earlier and I told him the news. I've been carrying this around for so long. I needed someone to talk to and he was there. I'm not even sure why I told _him_… I was preoccupied, he noticed and asked me what was wrong and it just came out." Robin nodded, urging her to go on. "He was shocked," Alexis paused and eyed Robin knowingly, "to say the least."

"I'm sure."

"But he did manage to point out something." Robin raised her eyebrows in interest. "How is it possible for Sam to have Nikolas's genetic illness if she is not my daughter?" The doctor's brow furrowed and she clucked her tongue against her cheek.

"Huh." Alexis widened her eyes at the expression of surprise in Robin's voice. When the doctor raised her gaze, she could see the curiosity dancing in them. "I'm not sure but maybe we should find out."

Robin took out a piece of paper from a drawer and began scribbling down notes. "I'm going to tell the lab that they should also add Nikolas's blood to the order. And then compare all three of the samples." She explained to Alexis as she picked up the phone, pressed a four-digit combo and informed the lab of the updated order. "Thank you."

"Will you inform me of the results right away?" Alexis asked and knew there was a note of desperation in her voice but didn't care for once. 

"Of course."

"Thank you, Robin." 

Robin embraced the older woman. "You're welcome and Sonny's right." Alexis drew back and looked at her in confusion. "You need to tell Sam… and Nikolas because I have to have their permission before I tell you the results."

Jason was sitting on the couch when Sam got downstairs. She beamed at him when he turned his head to watch her. "Hey."

He smiled up at her as she came right up to the edge and stood between his legs. She leaned down and kissed him. "Hello to you too." He pulled her down into his lap and wrapped his arms around her. "Sorry I couldn't make it last night." His voice was muffled by her shoulder and the fabric of her clothing as he spoke but she felt her nod her head in understanding.

"It's fine." She pulled away and gave him a reassuring peck on the nose. "Maxie definitely kept me entertained in your absence."

She told him that she was down at the docks on her boat updating the crew that was out working a job one big job that was currently in progress. It was a big score and she had been the one to nab the prize job and would be a great win if successful for her company.

"When I came home, I got a big surprise." She lowered her voice conspiratorially. "My roommate has had a new guy in her life for a few weeks now and I found out about him when I walked in on them going at it on this very couch."

Jason grimaced as he moved to get off the couch with the unwanted images Sam's words had brought to mind. He felt like a pervert for having knowledge of a girl as young as Maxie's sex life in his mind.

Sam laughed heartily. "They were only kissing." She buried her head in his chest as she convulsed helplessly. Once she calmed down she leaned against him. "You'll never guess who it is though."

Jason looked at her worriedly. "Please tell me it isn't Spinelli."

She shook her head. "Johnny Zacchara."

"Isn't he dating Lulu?" Jason found himself asking without thinking, meeting Sam's shocked expression with one of his own. 

"They broke up at the beginning of last year, thank you very much." Maxie came into the room and looked at the two of them in annoyance. "Honestly, Jason, they made a huge scene at the Valentine's Day Gala that Carly threw at the MetroCourt. You were actually there and you still don't pay attention to anything around you."

Sam wrinkled her brow at her roommate. Jason was the most observant person she knew but then he wasn't really the type to gawk and stare at a couple who was fighting. "He probably ran to the nearest corner as soon as he got there." She smiled at Jason knowingly who rolled his eyes in response.

"Whatever." Maxie shrugged. "I'm on my way out."

"To meet Johnny?" Sam asked and waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"I wish." Maxie blew out in frustration. "Her Highness called and apparently my presence is required at Crimson every Saturday from now on."

"I don't know why you put up with her." Sam said again as she wrinkled her nose in disgust at the mention of the woman.

"If she weren't Kate Howard, I would tell her exactly where she can shove her stilettos." Maxie huffed angrily. "Trust me." She passed the couch and threw the aspirin bottle to Sam. "You left these upstairs. I'll pick up another bottle or two on my way home. At the rate you're going, you'll be out by the end of the week."

Jason took the bottle from Sam and examined it. He looked to her in concern. "Are your headaches still bothering you so much?" She had been out of the hospital for a week and a half. Her headaches had been happening since the third day she after she came home from the hospital.

Sam glared at the younger girl for opening her big mouth and Maxie stuck her tongue out at her in response and then winked, mimicking Sam's earlier actions upstairs.

Gritting her teeth, she turned her head back to face Jason's worried expression. "Yes." She finally answered and knew what was coming.

"Are they worse?"

"Maybe." Sam answered quietly, moving to sit beside him on the couch.

Jason put his hand under her chin and raised her head so she was meeting his gaze. "How much worse?"

"You know when I gave them a 5?" Jason nodded. A few days ago, he had asked her if to rate how bad her pain was on a scale of 1 to 10, something doctors and nurses asked patients regularly. "I'd give them a 15 now." He stood up and reached out his hand for her.

"I want to take you to the hospital." Sam opened her mouth to argue. "We should get you checked out just to be safe." She pouted. "It will make me feel better." That made her nod in agreement.

"Let's go."

When they reached the fourth floor, Sam flipped her phone opened and dialed her mother's number. "Hey."

"Sam?" Alexis's voice came on the other end. "Is everything okay?"

"Don't freak out, ok?" She said quickly and sighed. "My headaches have gotten worse so Jason brought me to the hospital to get me checked out. It's just a precaution but I wanted to let you know."

"You're at the hospital?"

Sam wrinkled her forehead in confusion. "Yes." 

"I'm here too."

Sam looked around the hospital. "You are?" She didn't see Alexis anywhere. She sat down beside Jason and she spotted Epiphany glaring at her, letting her know that it was past time to hang up her phone. She mouthed an apology and held up a finger at the nurse to signal she'd be one minute. "I'm catching a glare of death from Epiphany right now."

"So tell me where you are and I'll come to you."

"Fourth floor waiting area." And the call was ended.

Ten minutes later Alexis met Sam and Jason at the hospital room that a nurse was just showing them into.

She hugged Sam and they waited for the doctor in uncomfortable silence.

It was two minutes later when Patrick poked his head in the room and asked Alexis and Jason to leave the room while he examined Sam.

"Is everything alright?" Jason asked Alexis who had been unusually quiet during the whole time they'd been at the hospital. 

She looked up at him hesitantly and frowned. "Not really."

Before Jason could ask what was wrong, the door to the exam room opened and Patrick waved them in. He rushed in and sat down beside Sam on the bed.

"I'm fine." She assured him, smirking at the snort that came from Patrick.

"You should have come to the hospital the minute these headaches started."

"Ignore him." Sam made a motion of waving him away as if what he said was nonsense.

"Is she really fine?" Alexis asked. 

Patrick explained that the headaches were nothing that he was overly concerned with, they were normal for people to experience after brain surgery. "I'm going to prescribe a painkiller just in case that I want you to take with caution." Translation: don't take too many and only as needed for pain.

Sam nodded acceptance and then Patrick left to give her script to the pharmacy. She then turned to her mother and eyed her seriously. "Out with it."

Alexis snapped her head up and met Sam's gaze. "What?"

"I know something's wrong." Alexis furrowed her brow. "You've been silent this whole time and it's a dead giveaway because you're never silent."

Jason felt a warning go through him and he held Sam's hand tighter, and overwhelmed by a sense to protect her all of a sudden he put an arm around her back. "Alexis, maybe you should just say what you want to say."

"Believe me I don't want to say this." Alexis scoffed and she bit her lip and wrung her hands in front of her nervously. "And I don't know how to either."

"Are Molly and Kristina alright?" Sam asked, feeling alarmed at the manner in which her mother was behaving.

"They're not hurt." A weird answer and not really an answer either. "But I don't think any of us will be alright for a while." She looked around the room to distract herself. She did not want to do this.

"What are you talking about?" Jason asked as he felt Sam stiffen beside him.

She started to explain about the time Sam was in a coma and donating blood in case she needed a transfusion. Then she explained the hospital mix up and getting a letter in the mail two weeks later. "These are the results." She pulled the paper from her purse and handed it to Sam who took it from her slowly. "I am so sorry."

Jason watched his girlfriend begin to read the letter and when she was almost finished it (he guessed) she dropped the paper and her face drained of all colour. "No, not again."

Sam felt tears spring to her eyes as she leaned into Jason for comfort. "What is going on?" And Jason looked right at Alexis as he asked the question.

"That letter has the results of a DNA analysis test that the hospital ran on mine and Sam's blood." Alexis explained to Jason slowly, her own voice breaking as she spoke. "The results say that Sam and I are not mother and daughter."

Jason pulled Sam tighter against him and he felt her loss as if it were his own. He looked at Alexis and could tell the woman was in emotional turmoil as well.

"We would've been better off not knowing." She swore under her breath as she looked at a devastated Sam wrapped in Jason's arms.

Sam could feel the tears flowing down her cheeks freely now as she looked at Alexis. "I really wanted you to be my mom." Her lip trembled and her voice broke. "Despite everything we've been through, you've been there for me through so much."

She put her hand over her mouth to hold back a sob but several escaped her lips and she knew it wouldn't be long before she really lost it. "I know that we didn't always get along but I really do love you." It was so unfair. "And now I'm losing you."

"Oh, Sam." Alexis pulled the young woman off the bed gently and close to her body, hugging her tightly. "I love you too sweetheart." She pulled away and handed her a tissue from the wad she held in her own hand. She never thought it would come to this and she wished she had kept her mouth shut about the truth.

"I want you to know that I am still here." She promised, keeping a hold on one of Sam's hands, squeezing it slightly. "I am not going to disappear from your life. You can come to me for anything."

Sam nodded and hoped that Alexis knew that it went both ways. "Right back at you." She managed to say through her tears and Alexis chuckled slightly.

"And the girls still need you around."

For the first time since learning the truth, a genuine smile curved Sam's lips. "Thank you." She sniffed lightly and used another tissue that Alexis handed her. 

Alexis returned the sentiment with a nod. "You don't need to thank me. Kristina, Molly and I are still your family, even if we aren't biologically."

The sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted the two woman and they turned to find Robin standing there, looking rather uncomfortable for interrupting.

"I'm really sorry." The doctor's gaze bounced between the two of them. "I don't mean to interrupt but you said that you wanted to be informed immediately of the results."


	25. Chapter 25

_Here's the next installment. I know; it took me long enough. Hope you like it. I want to make 1 thing clear though: I don't really have any idea what I'm talking about in regards to test results that are in this chapter. I had my friend who is a forensic lab tech try to explain it to me in order to make the story more realistic but I was too confused so I had to use my imagination and take several liberties but tried my best to make it sound plausible. Sorry to the people who actually do know about these things if it really sounds ridiculous._

**Chapter 25**

"The lab ran the DNA test again just as you requested." Robin began to explain and her expression softened as she saw both women's faces light up with hope. She shook her head. "I'm sorry." Her voice began to break because she felt so bad for Alexis and Sam so she cleared her throat. "The first test was accurate. You're not mother and daughter."

Alexis looked as devastated as before and Robin sniffled as she choked back another sob. Robin turned to study Sam's reaction.

Her face was closed off now but Jason was running his hand up and down her back soothingly, occasionally drawing circles. Her eyes were narrowed and she opened her mouth to speak but shook her head instead.

"What about the analysis?" Jason heard himself ask and Sam tightened her grasp on his hand in response. He knew she was having a hard time controlling her anger over the situation so he was more than happy to ask the question she wasn't strong enough to at the moment.

Robin glanced at him sideways and frowned sadly. "Have you told Nikolas?" She looked at Alexis to gauge her reaction and she could tell by the heavy sigh that escaped the woman's lips that her nephew did not know yet.

"I left him a message." Alexis shrugged helplessly. "I don't know when he'll get it."

"Then I'm afraid that I can only tell you what the lab found out regarding yours and Sam's blood."

"Don't." The word was spoken so quietly that Jason wasn't sure he would have heard it if he hadn't been sitting right next to her. He looked at her and pulled her closer against him.

"Are you sure?" Sam relaxed a little against him as she moved her head up so that they could make eye contact, and he winced at the misery that was in her eyes. He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Honestly, I don't know how much more I can take." She looked up at Robin who was waiting for her to continue as she listened intently, and Sam knew that the doctor was sincere in the sympathy and understanding she was showing them. "Would it be okay if we waited until Nikolas is here?"

"Of course." Robin made a note on the chart and then looked back at them. "You just let me know when you're ready."

Sam looked at Alexis who was watching her carefully. "Would that be alright with you?"

"Yes, it's fine with me." Alexis held her forehead with her hand. "This has been so exhausting emotionally. I think it might be a good idea to take a step back and let it all sink in."

"We still need to tell Nikolas anyway." Sam wondered how he would react to the news. A few minutes ago she'd had a cousin, a mother and two sisters. Now she didn't know what she had anymore. And she didn't think she had ever felt so alone. "That will be hard enough. I think I'd like to get the results when we're all together."

"Let me know when that is." Robin shook their hands and expressed her sympathy once again before leaving the room.

Alexis stepped forward and hugged Sam goodbye, saying that she would call her when Nikolas returned her call and they could set up a time to tell him together.

Sam sighed as she watched Alexis leave. "What a day."

Jason wrapped his other arm around her and hugged her. "Are you okay?" She laughed mirthlessly and shook her head. "I'm sorry."

"Can you take me home?" He nodded right away and helped her down off the bed, and assisted her with putting her jacket back on. When she had it buttoned up he wrapped an arm around her back and hugged her close as they left the exam room together. "And stay with me tonight?"

He stopped walking for a minute. "Did you really think I would leave you alone on a day like today?" She shrugged and he could see a bit of relief in her eyes. "Of course I'm staying with you."

* * *

The ringing of her alarm woke Sam up the next day. She opened her eyes slowly, her mouth curving into a small smile when she saw Jason's peaceful face beside her.

She reached out to turn off her alarm but was immediately pulled back into bed by an arm wrapped firmly around her waist. "Too soon." She laughed at the sleepy protest. She glanced at him again to see that his forehead was creased in annoyance but his eyes were still closed.

"Maxie will raise hell if my alarm wakes her up." He opened one eye slightly. He could see the laughter shining in Sam's face and when he remembered that the perky blond that was asleep down the hall was a horror when she was woken up he decided that it was wise to turn the alarm off.

Maxie Jones was by no means a morning person.

"Okay." Sam chuckled as she felt his arm loosen from around her slightly. She sat up to reach out and turn off the alarm. Then she crawled right back under the covers and snuggled against Jason.

He wrapped both arms around her and pulled her closer, then rolled them so that she was laying on top of him and she rested her head against his chest while he ran his fingers through her hair.

"How are you doing." She felt her eyes narrow in annoyance at the reminder of the previous day. She had tried not to dwell on it when Jason had brought her home.

In one day, she had lost four people that had come to mean a lot to her. Her family. Her heart ached at the realization that Kristina and Molly were not really her sisters. She had loved being their big sister.

Her mother was not her mother anymore. Her sisters weren't her sisters and her cousin was no longer her cousin. There was now another hole in her heart and she didn't know if she could take anymore loss. When Lila and Danny died, she didn't think anything could hurt more and while she knew realistically it wasn't anything compared to the pain she felt when she had lost her brother and daughter, the pain she felt over losing Nikolas, Molly, Kristina and Alexis was just as real.

She shrugged against Jason, not really knowing how to explain exactly what she felt.

"Do you want to talk." She peered up at him, noting his serious expression. He never wanted to talk. About anything, least of all feelings. Except with her and here he was trying to get her to talk about her feelings.

"I'm glad that I still have you." It was the only thing she could think of to say and her voice broke as she said it, keeping his gaze while tears formed in her eyes.

Jason tightened his arm that was around her. "You'll always have me." He brought his face up while she lowered her own and their lips met in a slow, gentle kiss. "I won't be going away ever again."

"Thank you." Her voice trembled as she spoke and her hand reached up to cup his cheek, caressing it lightly. "I need you now."

The hand in her hair stopped its motions. Instead he used it to hold the back of her head and kissed her again, pouring all of his love into the kiss.

She moaned softly against his lips and he chose that moment to deepen the kiss. Sam licked at his tongue which elicited a groan from Jason, causing him to pull her even tighter against him.

Jason rolled them over once again and took control. He found her hands that were now holding the mattress while their tongues dueled, grabbing hold of both of them. He lifted one arm above her head, entwining his fingers with hers and held her hand tightly. His other arm snaked under the shirt that she wore which was actually his, and stroked the skin of her back.

Sam whimpered when his hand found her underwear and began tugging on the material. She lifted her hips slightly, allowing him to pull her panties down. He shoved his boxers down, breaking the kiss momentarily, pulling away so that he could push them down and then reclaimed her mouth as he entered her with one hard thrust.

It wasn't long before they came together. Sam screamed his name while he buried his head in her shoulder and bit down as he shuddered against her. He kissed her to calm her spasms.

"I love you." Sam returned the kiss with a small peck on his lips.

"I love you too."

* * *

Later on that afternoon, Sam had picked up her phone to see that there were three voicemails for her.

She dialed the code to her voicemail and listened to the message, cringing at the panic and anxiety in Alexis's voice which escalated with each message.

The first message was to let her know that Nikolas had finally returned her phone call but had left a message. The second informed her that unfortunately Alexis and Nikolas had been playing phone tag all morning. In the third, Alexis told her that she had finally been able to talk to Nikolas and that he agreed to come over to the Lake House at around six in the evening.

She could tell just by the way Alexis was constantly stuttering that her nerves were getting to her. Sam could relate as she was not looking forward to the conversation with Nikolas either but in order to get answers to her questions, she was going to need his help, and it was only fair to let him know what was going on since it affected him as well.

She sighed as she found Alexis in her contacts and hit the Call button. Alexis picked up after three rings. "Sam?" She smiled slightly at the relieved sigh she heard on the other end.

No matter what that test said, she knew in her bones that this woman was her family. Alexis still felt like her mother and she didn't want that to change but at the same time, she felt a need to uncover the truth about who she really was.

"Hi." She bit her lip as she faltered in her greeting. She didn't even know what she was supposed to call Alexis anymore so she just took a deep breath and continued on as if there was no awkwardness between them. "I just got your messages and I will be there this evening."

"It's ridiculous." Sam frowned and was about to ask what she was talking about but Alexis continued before she had a chance. "I happen to know he has nothing vital to do today and now we're forced to endure needless hours of anxiety until we can tell him."

"Did you give him any idea what he's in for?" There was a bit of clattering on the other end of the phone. "Alexis."

"Sorry. A glass slipped out of my hand." Sam would have laughed if the situation weren't so serious. "I didn't go into any details but I warned him to prepare himself so he knows that it's serious."

Sam couldn't help the scoff that escaped her lips. "He probably thinks your cancer is back." She shook her head in disbelief. "He might be flipping out right now."

"Well, then he won't be the only one, will he?" Alexis snapped back childishly. She instantly regretted it. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Sam's voice was sympathetic. "I'll see you in a few hours. I think that once we tell Nikolas the truth, we should head to the hospital to get the results."

"I've already called Robin and told her to expect us."

"That's good."

"Sam." Alexis called out suddenly in a desperate tone. "I'm really sorry."

Shutting her eyes tightly to block out tears, Sam inhaled a deeply. "It's not your fault, Alexis." She heard the sniffle on the other end and felt a twinge of hurt. "Neither one of us asked for this and no matter what we find out today, I'm not going to disappear from your life."

* * *

Nik walked into his aunt's house and frowned when he came upon his cousin sitting on the couch beside Alexis with tears sliding down her cheeks. "Sam?" Both women jumped at the sound of his voice, obviously startled.

"Oh, Nikolas." Alexis spoke up first as she turned around to look at him, revealing her own face that had tear tracks that almost appeared to be burned into her skin. She grabbed a tissue from the box between the two women and dabbed at her face carefully. "You're here. Finally. Now we can get this over with."

"What's going on?" He found himself sitting down when Sam raised her head and he could see the troubled look in her eyes. "Did something happen to Kristina or Molly?"

"No." Alexis shook her head quickly. "The girls are fine. They're at Sonny's. We thought it best that they not be around for what we have to tell you." His aunt's voice grew strained and she turned to Sam helplessly.

Sam sniffled but nodded in understanding. She locked eyes with Nikolas as she drew in a deep breath, straightening herself as she began to tell him the story. She could see him beginning to shake his head in disbelief so she stopped explaining and sighed. "The test was ran twice. I'm not her daughter." Finally she spoke again, her voice soft and broken as she shattered the denial and hope she saw in his eyes. She looked at him sadly as she delivered the last blow.

"And I'm also not your cousin."

* * *

Nikolas Cassadine walked over the threshold of the elevator onto the 4th floor of General Hospital with his aunt's arm folded through his own and he held her hand tightly in support. He glanced over at Sam who was walking right beside Jason, burrowing her head into his side as if he were her shield to the outside world.

When Sam and Alexis told him that Sam was not his aunt's daughter or his own cousin, he honestly thought there had been a mistake. There was no denying that the two women had their differences, and they often clashed because of them; but there were also certain character traits that he had slowly noticed they shared which now made it hard for him to believe that they weren't mother and daughter.

And even though he felt for Alexis, he couldn't help but feel his own loss with the news that Sam was not his family after all. It wasn't something he ever expected nor had he ever been looking for another of his Cassadine relatives but once he found out about her, he had reached out to her and she quickly became an ally and confidant in his crazy world. If she hadn't come back from Port Charles to help him deal with the loss of Emily and his own illness, there was no telling where he would have ended up.

As soon as they got to the nursing station to check in, Epiphany Johnson locked eyes with him. It seemed she had been told to expect him because she picked up a chart and ushered them into a private room right away, telling them that Dr. Scorpio would be there as soon as she finished with her current patient.

They all walked into the room in silence. Sam slowly raised herself up onto the examination table and Jason leaned against it at first to be at her side but Sam tugged at his arm rather urgently so he quickly sat down beside her.

Nikolas led Alexis to two chairs that were tucked in the corner of the room, conveniently located at the end of the examination table. They both sat down together and he kept hold of her hand, knowing that his aunt really needed him right now, and if he was honest with himself, he needed her support as well.

He looked at Sam and she flashed him a watery smile. He winced at the sadness in her dark eyes, but he was certain that his own expression mirrored hers. He opened his mouth to say something but the door was pushed further open as Robin Scorpio walked in.

"Oh, good." Robin breathed a sigh of relief as she glanced around the room, taking in each person. "You're all here." She looked at Nikolas sadly, realizing that he had probably just found out about everything. She clutched the chart in her hand tightly before opening it.

"Can we get this over with?" Alexis asked, impatiently clicking the heel of her shoe on the floor as she locked eyes with Robin. The message was clear and Robin knew she was asking her not to make it any harder for them.

"Well, when you were last here," Robin grimaced at the memory of their last visit. It had been very hard to stand there and not try to comfort either Sam or Alexis as she delivered the news that crushed them. "I was about to tell you what we found from the DNA analysis of Alexis and Sam's blood."

"And what did you find?" Jason looked at her expectantly, now clutching both of Sam's hands in his own as he waited for Robin's answer.

"As I said before, they are not mother and daughter but the analysis revealed something we did not expect."

Sam looked up at her with narrowed eyes, anger flushing her cheeks. "Something you didn't expect?" She parroted mockingly, her voice rising. "What the heck is that supposed to mean? Do I have some kind of genetic defect on top of everything else?"

"No, Sam, that's not what I meant." Robin bit her lip and cursed herself for her poor choice of words. She should have known better than to say something like that to someone who had had a brain tumor removed twice in the past year. "The test revealed that you had some alleles in common after all."

"What does that mean?" Alexis raised her head in surprise. She knew that alleles had something do with telling how people were related but she didn't know if having any in common meant that you actually were related.

"Well, there weren't enough common alleles to make you mother and daughter." Robin paused to allow it to sink in. "But there were enough to conclude that the two of you are biologically related."

Sam's face paled slightly and she turned to look at Alexis, curiosity lighting her expression. "How are we related?"

"I wasn't sure at first." Robin admitted as she shuffled some papers around. "I had our best laboratory technologist take a look at them and she said that Alexis is probably the sister of your mother or father."

"I'm her aunt?" Alexis asked uncertainly and Robin nodded, causing her to frown. "The only sister I had died years ago and she never had a daughter that I know of."

"I remembered so the technologist compared Nikolas and Sam's tests." She walked over to the wall and put two sheets of paper on the board, switching on the light so that they could see the pattern of Nikolas and Sam's DNA. "If you look at them closely, you'll notice that they have a number of things in common, and have more shared alleles than we would expect to find in two cousins."

"Are you telling us that Nikolas and Sam are related as well?" Jason asked.

Robin smiled at him, nodding in confirmation. "Nikolas and Sam are sister and brother." She heard the collective gasps from everyone in the room. When she glanced up, she had to stop herself from laughing as she watched Nikolas process the news. His eyes had widened comically and his mouth hung open in surprise. She glanced at Sam to find her dark eyes lit with curiosity, clearly covering her shock over the news better than her newfound brother.

"I called Lulu Spencer in and she agreed to let me take some of her blood to compare it." Robin explained that she was trying to see if Sam was Laura Spencer's daughter. Sam felt sick as she recalled her crazy plan to seduce Lucky in order to get back at Elizabeth. "Unfortunately, you are not related to Lulu at all."

"Thank God." Jason muttered under his breath and Sam bit back the urge to laugh. Though he had developed a bond with Lulu while he was searching for Spinelli, she was now aware that Jason was angry over the way Lulu had crushed and dumped Spinelli while Sam had been out of town. She ran her free hand down his arm and he glanced up at her, seeing that amusement in her eyes.

Robin stayed silent for a minute to allow them to absorb all the information she was throwing at them when a gasp of horror caught her attention. She glanced over and found that Nikolas's eyes had widened and his eyes were full of fear.

"Stavros is her father as well, isn't he?"

"Oh, no." Alexis's eyes were full of panic as she too connected the remaining dots. "Is he her father?"

Robin sighed heavily and nodded. "Yes." She glanced at Sam. "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" Sam was looking at them with eyes full of confusion and realized they were looking at her as if she were crazy because she didn't seem concerned by the news. "Isn't he dead?"

"Yes." Nikolas replied, looking at her now with a grim expression. "But Helena is not."


End file.
